Uncle Handle's guide to Game..

[Jack Handy jr]

wow where to begin.

I made a couple of threads lately that in all honesty were meant in jest however a strange thing happened....a lot of my sherbros started answering seriously and what was revealed was astonishing.... Many of if not most of my sherbros have absolutely know idea what they're doing in regards to women.

So if you take the time to read this consider yourself lucky..,cause I'm not supposed to give the game away for free but you guys are my online bros and many of you are tragically ill equipped to deal with women. Now pay attention feel free to ask questions only serious inquires will be responded to.

Rule number 1. bitches ain't shit

Rule number 2. Never ever give a girl any grip. Once you give a girl money and you haven't tapped it several dozen if not hundreds of times.......makes you a busta.

Rule number 3. Never ever tell a girl you love her first , a mistake I made when I was young and "in love" you've just lost all leverage, alpha credibility, and negotiating power going forward.

Rule number 4. Never "go down" before she does if at all.

Rule number 5. Never answer your cell phone the first time she calls get her conditioned to you returning her calls at least ten minutes after she's called same with texts. However she should always answer your call promptly and return your texts immediately

Rule number 6. Be sparing with compliments. I know this seems counter intuitive. But the more you give appearance compliments, the more she'll see you as soft.

Rule number 7. Another one of my faux Pais I had to learn the hard way. Never ever buy a girl you like flowers...never. Wife mother of your kids fine go head. But a girl you're dating no.

Rule number 8. Never be gentle. I haven't "made love" in ages nope women actually don't want romance and slow grind. They want you to beat their brakes off in as many positions as possible trust me hair pulling, and slapping ass makes her think alpha even if your secretly not dominance in the sack makes them climax quicker too.

Rule number 9. See rule number 1.


Rule number 10. You may think it's impossible to cross the bridge of jock nerd, geek playa. But it can be done I have hundreds of comic books am the biggest anime video game geek I know. And when I was single after admittedly some trial and error..I couldn't lose.

Take uncle Handle's advice and you too can become a sexual tyrannosaurus .

Anybody else with some advise for these young pitiful lads feel free to chime in..our sherbros need our help. And since I'm out da game and no longer see other playas as competition I don't mind sharing the game.

 

[BOWHUNTER]

Solid advice. #1 needs to be #1. Bitches aint shit but hoes and tricks.

 

[Sampsonsimpson]

Always order for her if you go out to eat and always order the worst/most fattening thing on the menu so she gains weight and has self esteem issues.

 

[DIABOLUS]

Who pays on first dates at like a Starbucks? I'm sure it looks better to just pay for both drinks since it's so cheap (we're not talking dinner here), but it's hard not looking like a cheapskate if you ask her to pay her own way. And if you end up never seeing the girl again you just paid for her drink and didn't get action.

 

[Jack Handy jr]

Always order for her if you go out to eat and always order the worst/most fattening thing on the menu so she gains weight and has self esteem issues.

.....I like it but only after youve trapped a legit 9 or 10 cause hoping the weight gain hits tha ass, tits, and hips and not the face and stomach she will drop to an 8 which is still good besides I likes me some thicknassss

 

[EJAXXX]

You're using a lot of throw back words today.

I can dig it.

 

[Pixelated Porn]

Who pays on first dates at like a Starbucks? I'm sure it looks better to just pay for both drinks since it's so cheap (we're not talking dinner here), but it's hard not looking like a cheapskate if you ask her to pay her own way. And if you end up never seeing the girl again you just paid for her drink and didn't get action.

But if you pay with your Starbucks card you still get stars for it.
* posted from Starbucks (no lie, and yes I come here to write my novel...but I am almost done with the second draft but I do need people to see me write so it like makes it all reals)

 

[EJAXXX]

Rule number 4 is my weak point... I'm always down to eat some box if she's hot.

What can I say...

Ejaxxx out.

 

[odog]

My rules to dating:

1.Meet a woman that I like.
2. Enjoy spending time with her.

I know it sounds kinda crazy, but I find that it works.

 

[WandySaku2]

wow where to begin.

I made a couple of threads lately that in all honesty were meant in jest however a strange thing happened....a lot of my sherbros started answering seriously and what was revealed was astonishing.... Many of if not most of my sherbros have absolutely know idea they're doing in regards to women.

So if you take the time to read this consider yourself lucky..,cause I'm not supposed to give the game away for free but you guys are my online bros and many of you are tragically ill equipped to deal with women. Now pay attention feel free to ask questions only serious inquires will be responded to.

Rule number 1. bitches ain't shit

Rule number 2. Never ever give a girl any grip. Once you give a girl money and you haven't tapped it several dozen if not hundreds of times.......makes you a busta.

Rule number 3. Never ever tell a girl you love her first , a mistake I made when I was young and "in love" you've just lost all leverage, alpha credibility, and negotiating power going forward.

Rule number 4. Never "go down" before she does if at all.

Rule number 5. Never answer your cell phone the first time she calls get her conditioned to you returning her calls at least ten minutes after she's called same with texts. However she should always answer your call promptly and return your texts immediately

Rule number 6. Be sparing with compliments. I know this seems counter intuitive. But the more you give appearance compliments, the more she'll see you as soft.

Rule number 7. Another one of my faux Pais I had to learn the hard way. Never ever buy a girl you like flowers...never. Wife mother of your kids fine go head. But a girl you're dating no.

Rule number 8. Never be gentle. I haven't "made love" in ages nope women actually don't want romance and slow grind. They want you to beat their brakes off in as many positions as possible trust me hair pulling, and slapping ass makes her think alpha even if your secretly not dominance in the sack makes them climax quicker too.

Rule number 9. See rule number 1.


Rule number 10. You may think it's impossible to cross the bridge of jock nerd, geek playa. But it can be done I have hundreds of comic books am the biggest anime video game geek I know. And when I was single after admittedly some trial and error..I couldn't lose.

Take uncle Handle's advice and you too can become a sexual tyrannosaurus .

Anybody else with some advise for these young pitiful lads feel free to chime in..our sherbros need our help. And since I'm out da game and no longer see other playas as competition I don't mind sharing the game.

Surprisingly good advice, after to whole "body count" thread, haha. Just jerking your chain, but of all of those, I'd definitely say guys should read and remember #8. I've NEVER been with a woman that didn't want to be straight up throttled.

I'll also admit that I break #4 all of the time. I just like doing it lol.

Good post.

 

[Jack Handy jr]

Rule number 4 is my weak point... I'm always down to eat some box if she's hot.

What can I say...

Ejaxxx out.

Stop that!!!

 

[EJAXXX]

Stop that!!!

Never!

 

[Jack Handy jr]

See when your trying to land a really hot young chic esp todays women...we can't approach the task like our great grandfathers did with chivalry, and being a gentleman, with the flowers and the opening doors and the blah blah you'll be friend zoneded before you even realize it.

And the terrible thing about being unwittingly friend zoned is that there's no escape. once your there you will never find your self balls deep with said girl.

So you have to give the appearance of a"bad boy,playa,alpha" even if you're really a nice guy. This will take some planning and guile, even some rudimentary thespian skills on your behalf. This shit is chess not checkers dog.

So essentially you have to repress every sensible notion of being a gentleman you have while still showing genuine interest but without breaking Kayfabe, or letting a smile go on your poker face.

Because when you're dealing with a really attractive girl every bell and whistle in your body is going off. and you just want to say some goofy shit like "I love you" "or you so pretty" derp. annnnd you just friend zoned yourself if you can't keep that shit under control you're done.

And guys........unload your gun before you go out on a date with a hottie. maybe even twice. trust me trying to use Phil Jackson/jediesque mind control from sprouting wood is quite the mental task when out and about with a hottie.

 

[Jack Handy jr]

Never!

Lmao

 

[Sampsonsimpson]

.....I like it but only after youve trapped a legit 9 or 10 cause hoping the weight gain hits tha ass, tits, and hips and not the face and stomach she will drop to an 8 which is still good besides I likes me some thicknassss

Yes the weight gain strategy is a delicate one and is done best with subtlety. You can't let her think you are trying to cause her to gain the weight. You can avoid this by ordering a somewhat healthier entree for her every once in awhile or a Cobb salad. Also mix in a box of chocolates on special occasions or surprise her with some other sweets like that every now and again.

Ideally she will gain a little extra thickness which will be enjoyable for you but not so much that she goes from an La 9 to a Tulsa 7. She will think way more into a small weight gain than she should and you can even drop little subliminal messages like "I better get going, I have a big day at work tommorow" or "There's a big game on later". Just little things that will help keep her mind fixated on her size without you being outright degrading to her.

 

[charalsias]

Only advice that matters.If you like her and she lets you cum in her mouth you are doing great!

 

[shamaniac]

Here is a better advice
Don't take advice from TS

 

[Jack Handy jr]

Here is a better advice
Don't take advice from TS

I disapprove of this post.

 

[Jack Handy jr]

Very good stra

Yes the weight gain strategy is a delicate one and is done best with subtlety. You can't let her think you are trying to cause her to gain the weight. You can avoid this by ordering a somewhat healthier entree for her every once in awhile or a Cobb salad. Also mix in a box of chocolates on special occasions or surprise her with some other sweets like that every now and again.

Ideally she will gain a little extra thickness which will be enjoyable for you but not so much that she goes from an La 9 to a Tulsa 7. She will think way more into a small weight gain than she should and you can even drop little subliminal messages like "I better get going, I have a big day at work tommorow" or "There's a big game on later". Just little things that will help keep her mind fixated on her size without you being outright degrading to her.

Very good strategem

 

[Jack Handy jr]

Surprisingly good advice, after to whole "body count" thread, haha. Just jerking your chain, but of all of those, I'd definitely say guys should read and remember #8. I've NEVER been with a woman that didn't want to be straight up throttled.

I'll also admit that I break #4 all of the time. I just like doing it lol.

Good post.

You need to stop dat too. Today's Women are far too promiscuous to be doing that. Now long term gf, or perish the though ...a wife......Maybe.

Random sloot hellz nawl