Too much pepper?

[SuperAzn812]

Chapelle Show was great! I was probably a little too young to watch it at the time though lol

 

[bagelgod]

I'd give it 13/18. Started off pretty amusing, but ran out of good descriptions of terror. I would've preferred a more Lovecraftian tale of horror.

"And he looked upon my jab, and an unearthly terror took hold of him; my jabs took on impossible geometries, appearing convex at a distance but concave up close. Their speed was strange; shadows lapsed and sounds occurred a half second after they should have. There are no words to describe the fear that comes from having such a nighmarish encounter, but only know that he now has a fear so great that all of his dishes will taste bland and un-peppered for the remainder of his haunted days."

 

[Uchi Mata]

I'd give it 13/18. Started off pretty amusing, but ran out of good descriptions of terror. I would've preferred a more Lovecraftian tale of horror.

"And he looked upon my jab, and an unearthly terror took hold of him; my jabs took on impossible geometries, appearing convex at a distance but concave up close. Their speed was strange; shadows lapsed and sounds occurred a half second after they should have. There are no words to describe the fear that comes from having such a nighmarish encounter, but only know that he now has a fear so great that all of his dishes will taste bland and un-peppered for the remainder of his haunted days."

http://bygonebureau.com/2012/04/04/h-p-lovecraft-answers-your-relationship-questions/

 

[anaconda]

lol at the guys getting butthurt over this.

welcome to the grappling forum, MC Paul

 

[jmadtx]

fuck yeah

 

[AllKnowing]

I believe in TS

 

[Cgko]

It's obvious what happened...
The Judoka didn't evaporated and the sambo guy wasn't mumbling. The thing is that you've been osoto gari'ed and hit your head. You got a severe brain damage...you have memory lapse and mental confusion.... Your brain can't find a logical and accepting closure to your misfortune so it tries to recreate your memories in a fitting way.
You should learn some breakfalls before talking shit to grapplers at your gym. I'm really sorry for your accident. I hope you'll recover soon. :icon_sad:

bye now.

 

[MC Paul Barman]

Nice try, Cgko.

I just confirmed with the custodian that the story I told was 100% accurate.

He agreed,

"The only difference is the intensity of your story. You left out alot of adjectives you could have rightfully used. But, you were trying to be humble and merely imparting knowledge. It doesn't matter that you were actually surrounded by over a dozen grapplers. You're clearly the type who takes no joy in needless liberties in telling what happened. It doesn't matter that you drove up to the gym in a mint '84 IROC Z.... had a throng of ladies following you up to the gym door begging to see you pepper the night air with your jab, being all light on your feet... south paw, orthodox, south paw, ortho.... To you, that stuff just didn't matter. You just wanted to light a candle in the darkness of ignorance and terror. It's just a shame that your jabbing did indeed bring so much terror. But sometimes, as you've always told me, sometimes you need terror merely as a teaching tool.... an unnecessary byproduct of this fallen world we live in. To quote St. Augustine..."

I'll stop there.

I think you get where I'm going though.

 

[Goat Meal]

Barman's peppering jab vs. Sinister's fold in the hip = impenetrable defense in a One Technique to Rule Them All death match.

 

[Cgko]

Nice try, Cgko.

I just confirmed with the custodian that the story I told was 100% accurate.

...............


I think you get where I'm going though.

...yeah...

 

[Leify]

Oh, please. That guy looks a lot like Old James from Half Baked, who we all know wasn't there. I don't even know nobody named Old James.

Story needs moar pepper.

 

[Potzi]

Prince's Hot Chicken. You'll thank me.

Hell ya! Had hot chicken for the first time a year or so ago. So good.

 

[MC Paul Barman]

Talk about food and laugh at me.... I'm fine with it.

But I'll be laughing right back when I head back home tonight to my two bathroom apartment, slippin' off my size 7 wingtips, pouring myself a glass of aged Scoresby Scotch, and tossin' a good 10 cds into my 50 CD Changer stereo system.... getting relaxed and ready for my evening shift at Fleet Farm, pal.


So yeah, don't go worrying about me.


For those interested in gaining knowledge I've attached this clip showing how to properly jab.

 

[sosy1325]

Talk about food and laugh at me.... I'm fine with it.

But I'll be laughing right back when I head back home tonight to my two bathroom apartment, slippin' off my size 7 wingtips, pouring myself a glass of aged Scoresby Scotch, and tossin' a good 10 cds into my 50 CD Changer stereo system.... getting relaxed and ready for my evening shift at Fleet Farm, pal.


So yeah, don't go worrying about me.


For those interested in gaining knowledge I've attached this clip showing how to properly jab.

That's a terrible demonstration of a jab 0/10

 

[FinBJJ]

slippin' off my size 7 wingtips, pouring myself a glass of aged Scoresby Scotch, and tossin' a good 10 cds into my 50 CD Changer stereo system

Tiny feet, shitty taste in whiskey and a CD-player in 2013. Oh wow.

 

[kuristus]

Talk about food and laugh at me.... I'm fine with it.

But I'll be laughing right back when I head back home tonight to my two bathroom apartment, slippin' off my size 7 wingtips, pouring myself a glass of aged Scoresby Scotch, and tossin' a good 10 cds into my 50 CD Changer stereo system.... getting relaxed and ready for my evening shift at Fleet Farm, pal.


So yeah, don't go worrying about me.


For those interested in gaining knowledge I've attached this clip showing how to properly jab.

Alright I admit it, you got a laugh outta me. Nice touch with the 10 CDs in the 50 CD changer.

 

[Rico]

So I'm at the gym the other night flickin' my jab away at the heavy bag (pop, pop, pop). Lightning fast... pop, pop, POP! I'm getting into a groove so I start doin my Ali shuffle as I'm dusting the heavy bag with this jab. I get alittle freaked out that the S-hook this bag is dangling from is going to snap.

As you can imagine all of these grapplers in the gym are getting pissed and intimidated... I'm talking wrestlers, bjjers, and an assortment of others (sambo?? probably).

One guy (probably a wrestler) says "go easy on that bag".
I look at him and just say "Why don't you make me... all of you".
As you can imagine they all are dumbfounded and a bit terrified.

So I'm all spent with handing out these "hi ya's" and "how ya doin's". I point to where the grappling mats and boxing rings are and say "let's just settle this like men"...
as I'm walking to a grappling mat one of the bjjers says "but the boxing ring is over there" (pointing to a boxing ring) and I just say, "I know. We're settling this in your world".

You could have heard a pin drop. It's like that scene from A Bronx Tale where the italian locks the door of the bar trapping the bikers inside with all of the mafia guys.

Just like this:

I'm standing in the center of the mat and start lacing up my 24oz gloves. One of these grapplers says "but with gloves on how are you going to get back up? you won't be able to grab??"....
I don't even look up, still focusing on my gloves.... I just say,
"You just worry about getting me down."

a general unease spreads among the grapplers. That and complete terror.


Let's just cut to the good part.

I have a bjjer, freestyle wrestler, and some judo clown slowly advancing towards me (and I mean slllllloooooooooooowwwwwlllllllllllyyyyyyyyyy.... the kind of slow advancing you'd do on a gorilla that's more than likely going to rip you apart)....the sambo guy must have had a moment of clarity. Last I saw he was hightailing it towards the door yelling something inaudible. I think it was something about how he was experiencing great terror and dread.

I start bouncing around, real light on my feet. Switching south paw/orthodox.... back and forth.... paw'ing at the air with my jab.

Wrestler is the first guy to taste his.... I start laying on really thick with the pepper. I'm just peppering this guy with the jab. pop, pop, pop. He just can't get his bearings about him. Any time he tries to shoot... pop pop pop....
he gives up and mutters some defeated comment like, "I never had to deal with a jab before in wrestling." I sagely respond, "I knew that all along". Peppered to death, as I say.

Bjj guy is a bit more hesitant.... but it plays out all the same.
After a very quick dusting with the jab he just drops to his back.
Remember when Royler fought Sakuraba. Royler drops to his back and the camera just shows this look of terror and dread and confusion on his face? And complete bewilderment and shock and terror? Exactly like that.... but like 10 times more terror and dread and confusion. And complete bewilderment and shock and terror.

I turn around to face the judo guy but he's nowhere to be seen.
The only sign that he was there is this empty judo gi laying lifeless on the floor.
I'm telling you, right out of the movie "Night of the Comet" where all of those people were just vaporized and only their clothes were left behind.

yeah, just like that.

For a moment I was real confused.... With all of the jabs I was dustin these guys with might I have gone overboard on the judo guy and completely vaporized him???

Then I was brought back to my senses when a custodian yells out, "He just sprinted for the door yelling something about being done with judo and how he was flooded with complete terror and dread"....

I look down at my fist nestled nicely in the 24oz Everlast and said, "oh look... you did it again."

Anyway. Thought I'd share this.

10/10 would read again..

 

[Rod1]

This thread delivers, 50 CD changer wins it.

 

[Rico]

I know, 10K+ posts and he's finally bored enough with talking about chicks w/ d*&%s in P+M that he decides to try and troll F12.

*fixed

 

[BJ@LW&WW]

started off pretty good but kinda dragged towards the end.

3/6.