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Welcome to Mind Of A Casual Vol. 1...
I fucking doubt anyone’s gonna be reading this post but I wanted to practice writing MMA-related content so here we are...
We all know UFC 222 is going to just shit all over us. It’s just not as good as it could’ve been (no disrespect or nutton, injuries happen but let me be selfish for content’s sake) and I doubt anybody wants to dwell on that shit any longer than the rest of this sentence.
I fucking doubt anyone’s gonna be reading this post but I wanted to practice writing MMA-related content so here we are...
We all know UFC 222 is going to just shit all over us. It’s just not as good as it could’ve been (no disrespect or nutton, injuries happen but let me be selfish for content’s sake) and I doubt anybody wants to dwell on that shit any longer than the rest of this sentence.
Anyhoo let’s jump into some things that’ll make the price seem worth it...
- Cat Zingano vs Vieira: It’s good to see Alpha Cat back in the octagon after a lengthy (and hopefully healthy) 18 months off and Ketlen Vieira has a great fucking opportunity here: to go 10-0 (4-0 in the UFC) and beat one of three women to have stopped Amanda Nunes (bet all you MMAthematicians just jizzed in your pants, good for you if you did, do you bro it’s all love).
- Stefan Struve vs Andrei Arlovski: I’m planning to make a spa-HIGH-sea curry on the night of UFC 222. I also plan to consume said curry before the event takes place. So by the time it’ll take my fucked up digestive system to digest all the chilli seeds, meat and other spices in said curry, I’ll be having the most emotional and satisfying shit of the week during this match. Fingers crossed this one goes the distance!
- Sean O’Malley vs Andre Soukhamthath: Man, oh man do I love watching this Sean O’Malley kid. I mean he’s been answering the question on everyone’s lips: ‘How would the lovechild of Molly Ringwald and the Diaz Brothers (you decide which one) perform inside the octagon?’ He’s currently 9-0 and has the chance to prove that his style has some substance against a tough and more seasoned Andre Soukhamthath (just rolls off the tongue that one).
- Frankie Edgar vs Brian Ortega: Do I wanna see Ortega sink in a flying submission off the fucking cage? HELL FUCKING YES PLEASE SIR THANK YOU. Do I wanna see Frankie lay him flat on the ground and pound the shit outta him? SIR. AGAIN. YES PLEASE, THANKING YOU. Do I wish Max wasn’t injured for this? Yeah, yeah I do. (Please quote this and reply with a sad face/crying MJ gif thank you).
- Cyborg (c) vs Yana Kunitskaya: Ooooh lawdy lawdy. Someone else take over here.
- Prelims: As for the prelims we start with a reboot of 221’s main event starring C.B. Dollaway as ‘Luke Rockhold’ & Hector Lombard as ‘Yoel Romero’, get the chance to be disappointed by John Dodson vs Pedro Munhoz, wish we got the rematch between Beneil Dariush & ‘The Absolute G.O.A.T’ James Vick (instead of whatever we get, if anything) and gawp at Mackenzie Dern and her beautifully seductive, painfully voluptuous and well-rounded high-level BJJ skills.
