Social Teacher/Student Relationships

Kafir-kun said:
Sure I even said that in my post, I just think the hpysical difference, rightly or wrongly, is partly why male abusers are seen in a different light.

Two things. The first is that I'm not saying these relationships have a negligible chance of harm, just that in certain cases the harm is negligible. There is a high potential for harm even if its not realized in every cases.

Second, the shame factor from having the relationship revealed publicly isn't something that's inherent to the experience, its a harm that is generated after the fact from related but separate experiences. If the interaction was never discovered that harm would not exist. This is not to say there aren't other harms though.

Sure that's all serious stuff that can mess with a boy, I just don't think all boys who have these interactions experience that kind of harm. Like I said I think sexual and emotional maturity can vary a lot between teenagers and I think one 16 year old might have no problems with such an experience while another, older teenager might find it troubling on some level.
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I can't argue with the position "not in all cases". There are certainly cases where there will be negligible harm to the minor. I just think harm happens in enough cases, both male and female, that it should never be considered negligible

It's like how you calculate risk - how likely is it to occur x how bad could it be if it did occur = how much risk you're taking on. These are always high risk relationships.

And, again, I know you're not dismissing the potentially life altering effects. We're simply discussing how much risk there really is.
 
panamaican said:
I can't argue with the position "not in all cases". There are certainly cases where there will be negligible harm to the minor. I just think harm happens in enough cases, both male and female, that it should never be considered negligible

It's like how you calculate risk - how likely is it to occur x how bad could it be if it did occur = how much risk you're taking on. These are always high risk relationships.

And, again, I know you're not dismissing the potentially life altering effects. We're simply discussing how much risk there really is.
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Oh I agree. In some ways I see it as analogous to underage drinking. No one argues that minors should be allowed to drink but at the same time I think most of us realize on some level that not every instance of underage drinking is going to result in serious harm. A teenager having a beer every few holidays with adults around isn't the worst thing and in some cases parents may have more or less trust in their teenagers when it comes to alcohol depending on the context. At the same time we generally acknowledge that despite this teenagers, as a rule, should not be entrusted with alcohol and certainly not to the extent that adults are.

I see these relationships in a similar light. Sure there are times when its more or less harmless. But I don't trust the student or the teacher to make that judgement and the law here should be rigorously policed because of the high potential for harm. My only point is that I don't think they are inherently harmful and that there are many factors to consider when trying to discuss the level of harm these relationships have on the minor.
 
panamaican said:
But these relationships, female teacher/male student, male teacher/female student, same sex student and teacher, almost all turn on authority and not physicality. They are almost all the result of manipulation by the authority trading on superior knowledge and abuse of trust.

And I don't think the female student, male teacher harm is negligible. In our current society, loss of female sexual virtue is more strongly stigmatized. The female student is entering into a situation where one of her earliest sexual experiences will become a source of shame if revealed. It can be deeply traumatic to discover after the fact that something so personal is considered shameful to your peer group. At least society will listen if she expresses regret about how such a thing occurred and what it means for her.

The damage to boys is clearly different since society will lionize their abuse while denying them a proper emotional scaffold from which to process their experience. Do either of us believe that the women abusing male students are providing those boys with an age appropriate emotional support system to accompany the physical element? Or are they simply telling them whatever it takes to facilitate the abuse? The potential negative impact on their future relationships is difficult to determine.
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Exactly.

It's not unlike male rape victims, regardless of age or circumstances. By default, it's assumed that they should be grateful for the sexual experience, and their trauma isn't treated as a trauma.
 
Kafir-kun said:
Oh I agree. In some ways I see it as analogous to underage drinking. No one argues that minors should be allowed to drink but at the same time I think most of us realize on some level that not every instance of underage drinking is going to result in serious harm. A teenager having a beer every few holidays with adults around isn't the worst thing and in some cases parents may have more or less trust in their teenagers when it comes to alcohol depending on the context. At the same time we generally acknowledge that despite this teenagers, as a rule, should not be entrusted with alcohol and certainly not to the extent that adults are.

I see these relationships in a similar light. Sure there are times when its more or less harmless. But I don't trust the student or the teacher to make that judgement and the law here should be rigorously policed because of the high potential for harm. My only point is that I don't think they are inherently harmful and that there are many factors to consider when trying to discuss the level of harm these relationships have on the minor.
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I actually see it the other way around.

I think they are inherently harmful and you need extremely favorable circumstances to avoid that harm.

In contrast, I don't see kids tasting alcohol as inherently harmful. It's the additional factors that transform it into a dangerous situation.
 
panamaican said:
I actually see it the other way around.

I think they are inherently harmful and you need extremely favorable circumstances to avoid that harm.

In contrast, I don't see kids tasting alcohol as inherently harmful. It's the additional factors that transform it into a dangerous situation.
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Well, agree to disagree for now I suppose since I think I've said all I care to on this matter for today. Have the last word and have a nice day.
 
sniper said:
Drugging your kids because they have "too much energy" is a much bigger issue than worrying about the teacher boogeyman, imo.
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Absolutely, but society seems to be decaying at a relatively fast rate, thanks largely in part to the redefining of marriage in this country.

What’s to say people won’t soon start advocating for adult/teen relationships. There’s already some of it going on. Those people are just testing the waters right now to see who will bite.
 
BudKing8806 said:
Not always lol
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Damn.

On a topic I care about and have consistently voiced my opinion on...

That disgusting comment...

<Lmaoo><Lmaoo><Lmaoo>

Bravo that shit was funny.
 
panamaican said:
If anything, the female student/male teacher dynamic is better. Girls enter and exit puberty sooner. They are more emotionally mature at a younger age. In almost every facet that matters, girls are ready for the physical and mental components of a sexual relationship before boys are.
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Always knew I was precocious.


th
 
For me it all boils down to the age of a person. There is a reason why we have a state deciding what is best for us and when we are mature enough to drive a car or being in the age of consent.

When you are still in highschool up to 18 years of age, you are still naive and haven´t had life experience enough to know what is best for you in life. Therefore, a serious relationship between a student and a teacher at the level of univeristy would not make my head explode. There are other issues that makes me more worried.

A while ago they were filming with hidden camera from a mosque in Malmö where I live. A mother and her daughter went for consulting. A man was offering to marry the 14 year old daughter and he had already 2 wifes. The daughter who has been born and raised in Sweden threaten to suicide and did not want to marry. The mother was more concerned with the man having multiple wifes and asked about it.

The imam then says, if the man can support each wife and have the economy for it, then there is no problem. He didn´t react or say anything about the girls age. And this is a Imam living in Sweden.

Examples like this makes my head explode.
 
If I ever hear of a male teacher sleeping with teenage students, I'm calling the police unless it's a slightly cool teacher in his early 20's.
 
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panamaican said:
They are entirely wrong.

If anything, the female student/male teacher dynamic is better. Girls enter and exit puberty sooner. They are more emotionally mature at a younger age. In almost every facet that matters, girls are ready for the physical and mental components of a sexual relationship before boys are.

Yes, people think about it differently. They are wrong to do so and it is why they are too cavalier about it. If anything, they would protect boys more aggressively for the reasons above.

Additionally, if the age and relationship issue wasn't as big a deal for boys then they wouldn't be as concerned when it involves a male teacher/male student dynamic. Yet, people are most negative on that dynamic compared to any of the others...even when it involves a gay student and teacher. When a straight boy enters into a sexual relationship with a straight female teacher, vague innuendo about boys wanting sex. When it's a gay boy and a gay teacher, the boy is suddenly incapable of determining what the bot wants.

In short form, you have adult males excusing or punishing sexual malfeasance based on their adult sexual preferences and not on what's best for the minors involved.

EDIT: I know that's not what you're saying. I just feel strongly that it's not taken seriously enough.
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Sounds like a lot of balloney to me. Mother-son relationship is important to the growth of a teenager. An involvement with a teacher who could well be his mother will almost immediately put a dent on the son-mother relationship. Failing to consider this and a host of other problems is short sighted

What do you mean girls enter puberty sooner? Sounds like another perpetuated myth from a flawed education system. What precisely do you mean by puberty? How did you define it for girls and for boys?
 
Renard said:
Instances of it are highly mediatized, but I don't think it's very common. You have literally millions of student who go through the system every year just fine. There's no point being overly worried about it over any other danger e.g. car accident, illness.
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Tend to agree here. But I will say that kids have too much freedom that doesnt help.
 
EyeOfNewt said:
Sounds like a lot of balloney to me. Mother-son relationship is important to the growth of a teenager. An involvement with a teacher who could well be his mother will almost immediately put a dent on the son-mother relationship. Failing to consider this and a host of other problems is short sighted

What do you mean girls enter puberty sooner? Sounds like another perpetuated myth from a flawed education system. What precisely do you mean by puberty? How did you define it for girls and for boys?
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The science is pretty easy, you can literally just google it. Girls enter and exit puberty approximately 1-2 years earlier than boys. That same is true about maturity for girls. Their brains mature faster than that of boys. http://healthland.time.com/2013/12/19/why-girls-brains-mature-faster-than-boys-brains/

Physiologically, mentally and emotionally, girls are in slightly less danger of long term negative effects from youthful sexual relationships.

Your comments about the mother-son relationship are right in line with my statement that there is significant harm to boys that aren't given enough weight.
 
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