Relationships Sexless marriage limits

[deadshot138]

I have a low libido so its not a priority for me.

 

[William Huggins]

Maybe when we were growing up. Nothing is really based on anything anymore imo.

Bolsheviks started no fault divorce...... And here we are now......what we have today is certainly based on something....... Some communist shit hole logic......mixed in with exploitative measures against good Christian values.......

 

[SalvadorAllende]

Not married but living with my GF for the last 4.5 years and I'm 38
We bang twice at week. Maybe one if we are sick with the flu or something.

Going over a week without sex drives me crazy.

 

[johnsmithjohnson]

I wouldn't tolerate it unless some health issue popped up that was temporary at my age.
It would be pointless to be in a relationship like that. It never works out.

 

[Mike]

Bolsheviks started no fault divorce...... And here we are now......what we have today is certainly based on something....... Some communist shit hole logic......mixed in with exploitative measures against good Christian values.......

The problem is differentiating necessary changes from the greed and social engineering. Men being able to theoretically just leave their families consequence free and in poverty was a bad thing.

I think something needed to be done about that. But like always the politicians get involved and you go 50 steps too far.

Why would a man get married today? Because he's an idiot I guess. And very traditional. Not much more of a reason given the hideous trap they've turned marriage into for men.

 

[chardog]

The problem is differentiating necessary changes from the greed and social engineering. Men being able to theoretically just leave their families consequence free and in poverty was a bad thing.

I think something needed to be done about that. But like always the politicians get involved and you go 50 steps too far.

Why would a man get married today? Because he's an idiot I guess. And very traditional. Not much more of a reason given the hideous trap they've turned marriage into for men.

Risk vs reward. Granted the risks are higher than the rewards, however it can be highly rewarding to have a conventional family that works.

 

[pakimahi]

It depends on how old you are.

I'm at the age now where my sexual desires don't drive all my behavior. So we won't have sex for weeks sometimes.

But yeah in my 20's we used to fight because I'd want sex every night and she only wanted it a few times a week.

It's kinda nice not being a slave to my hormones. Now she's the one initiating half the time, which is great. And when I initiate, she never rejects me anymore.

It's like the one part of getting old that I actually like.

Makes sense, life has different phases. Holding on to a past phase is not a necessaity.

 

[fingercuffs]

Considering the number of guys that I have known over the years that have complained that as soon as they got married, the amount of sex that they got went through the floor... I'll give the whole institution a miss, personally. It seems like some women just use it as bait to get that legal commitment.

It's such a shame that you've never had the other experience to prove your thoughts first hand.

Going through forced chemical Menopause was horrendous. Got down last night we've still got it going on.

 

[Contempt]

It's such a shame that you've never had the other experience to prove your thoughts first hand.

Going through forced chemical Menopause was horrendous. Got down last night we've still got it going on.

What, to get married to prove or disprove what I, keep hearing from pretty much every guy who has ever discussed it?

Glad things are going well for yourself and the hubby in that regard but when the anecdotes in the other direction are about 20 to 1... I'm happy with my choice.

 

[fingercuffs]

What, to get married to prove or disprove what I, keep hearing from pretty much every guy who has ever discussed it?

Glad things are going well for yourself and the hubby in that regard but when the anecdotes in the other direction are about 20 to 1... I'm happy with my choice.

You don't have enough life experience to say it isn't for you, is what I mean. You haven't dipped your toe in to love a woman and see for yourself, only from what people tell you.
I don't mean you're less of a person even remotely, I know you're happy. You just don't have the experience and facts from both sides being you've never opened yourself up for an informed opinion.

Love isn't based on facts. I know having gone through the beatings and arson. But I didn't turn my back on anyone after that.

 

[Contempt]

You don't have enough life experience to say it isn't for you, is what I mean. You haven't dipped your toe in to love a woman and see for yourself, only from what people tell you.
I don't mean you're less of a person even remotely, I know you're happy. You just don't have the experience and facts from both sides being you've never opened yourself up for an informed opinion.

Love isn't based on facts. I know having gone through the beatings and arson. But I didn't turn my back on anyone after that.

I've had plenty of relationships, I have just never let emotion over-ride my brain... that is when bad things tend to happen to men.

My parents have been married for over 50 years so I know it can work, but they are a product of a different time and a vastly different society.

What additional benefit would I gain from getting married over just meeting and having relationships... where I'm not risking losing half of everything that I've worked my entire life for?

 

[Why did you]

My impression so far, in my 40s, with kids, a wife, bills, and life in general.
I’m not 100% sure I’d go down this path again if someone had told me how it would probably be.

The constant push and pull of husband and wife dynamics, the differences in sexual needs in marriage, plus the daily burden of dealing with wife logic, kids, and work - it’s exhausting, lol.

But the kids are here, so it’s a strange chain of events that happens in this weird emotional rollercoaster between man and woman.

It seems like you can get something you might consider valuable and lovable, but there’s always a price you have to pay as a person to cooperate in the husband, wife, and kids community.

To be 100% sure, I’d probably just need a few million to prove to myself that it’s not about the money . something else is off in general.

Let’s remember the divorces of “poor” people like Gates and Bezos, for example.

 

[LEWIS540]

Sexless marriage is an oxymoron...........

Marriage is based on children..... Your not having them without sex...... Unless lesbian and Turkey baster.......

You think the dynamic of a marriage on day 1 is the same as day 6296?

You think couples in their 50s, who’ve been married for 30 years, are still all about having kids?

 

[William Huggins]

You think the dynamic of a marriage on day 1 is the same as day 6296?

You think couples in their 50s, who’ve been married for 30 years, are still all about having kids?

No, in their 50's it might be about the grand children.......... The main function of marriage is based around children...... Things changed with the advent of MODERN birth control and relatively safe abortions....... We've only had that since the 1960's...... And you can look at that with the decline in marriages, especially lasting past a certain time.

If you want to discuss "LOVE" that's a different story, then I would say that, hopefully the relationship has survived the transition from a dopamine fuelled experience to a more oxytocin experience..... Otherwise a break up will happen, which is usually started by the female...........and with a society with so many opportunities to reinforce that dopamine....... It happens more and more.

 

[Phlog]

Why would a man get married today? Because he's an idiot I guess. And very traditional. Not much more of a reason given the hideous trap they've turned marriage into for men.

So the benefits of marriage beyond my personal primary reasons are roughly as follows, they are considerable. People often assume they are not because many of the benefits are regarding change of circumstance or serious illness and death, which although absolutely inevitable, seem to slip the mind of most!


Legal Recognition and Rights:

Automatic next-of-kin status, simplifying decisions in medical or legal emergencies.

Right to inherit a portion of a spouse’s estate under intestacy rules if no will exists.

Access to spousal privilege in legal proceedings, protecting certain communications.

Financial Benefits:

Marriage Allowance: Transfer £1,260 of your Personal Allowance to your spouse (2025/26 tax year), potentially saving up to £252 in tax annually if one partner earns below the Personal Allowance threshold.

Tax-free transfer of assets between spouses, including inheritance tax exemptions (e.g., up to £325,000 nil-rate band plus residence nil-rate band, potentially doubled for married couples).

Eligibility for spouse’s pension benefits, including state pension or private pension schemes, upon their death.

Social and Emotional Benefits:

Formal commitment fostering emotional stability and mutual support.

Shared legal responsibilities, such as for children, strengthening family unity.

Social recognition of the partnership, often enhancing community and family ties.

Immigration benefits:

Easier sponsorship for a spouse to live in the UK or EU under a Spouse Visa, provided income and other requirements are met.

Joint tenancy rights, ensuring surviving spouses can remain in the marital home.
Potential access to spousal benefits in housing or council tax discounts

 

[Phlog]

I've had plenty of relationships, I have just never let emotion over-ride my brain... that is when bad things tend to happen to men.

My parents have been married for over 50 years so I know it can work, but they are a product of a different time and a vastly different society.

What additional benefit would I gain from getting married over just meeting and having relationships... where I'm not risking losing half of everything that I've worked my entire life for?

It's not a matter of ones emotions overriding ones brain, that's the failures you talk of. What one should aim for is for ones emotions, ones reason and ones spirit to all be aligned. Dominance of one over the other is the route to unhappiness.

Sadly there are few teachers and the lessons are hard to come by.

Generally speaking I would say if you're worried about losing half of what you've worked for then you're looking at it backwards. If you were really worried you could easily protect your investments. One should aim for a relationship where that potential loss wouldn't be begrudged.

Personally if I had to divorce my wife I would want her to have half of my shit. We're married because she's worth way more than that.

 

[Texan6533]

Honestly it’s not that I HAVE to have sex all the time to be happy. But I know something is wrong if we aren’t having sex very often.

 

[Contempt]

It's not a matter of ones emotions overriding ones brain, that's the failures you talk of. What one should aim for is for ones emotions, ones reason and ones spirit to all be aligned. Dominance of one over the other is the route to unhappiness.

Sadly there are few teachers and the lessons are hard to come by.

Generally speaking I would say if you're worried about losing half of what you've worked for then you're looking at it backwards. If you were really worried you could easily protect your investments. One should aim for a relationship where that potential loss wouldn't be begrudged.

Personally if I had to divorce my wife I would want her to have half of my shit. We're married because she's worth way more than that.

"What one should aim for is for ones emotions, ones reason and ones spirit to all be aligned."

Dude, what is that even supposed to mean, I mean in a practical sense? Sounds like some weird hippy shit.

"Dominance of one over the other is the route to unhappiness."

You forget the important part of that statement... "For you". Not everyone is the same as you, values the same things as you do or chooses to live their life the way that you do. To try and project your values onto others as if they are some universal truth is just ignorant.

"If you were really worried you could easily protect your investments..."

Good luck with that once it reaches the family courts.

So... I should just find someone that I want to give away half of everything I've ever worked my ass off for, to?

 

[Intermission]

the problem with being married and having kids is the gamble that you will be in an even shittier situation than single and unemployed, or old.

Single and unemployed - you're stuck with nothing BUT CAN GET OUT OF IT.,

married and with kids you're stuck with something and can't get out.

And you're miserably tired.

 

[Why did you]

interesting stats