SBBC : The Flesh Edition

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El Chimpo said:
oh yeah there's all that fancy stuff...cant be any moisture in the room or the glass can be ruined
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How wonderful. Is this a cold area, or warm?
 
El Chimpo said:
have to keep it at 72 degrees for the vinyl ..cant let it get warm before it hits the oven
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giphy.gif
 
Oh yah, story time!

So yesterday around 4 AM, I got woken up by a phone call. The blubbering idiot on the other end was a former friend of mine who had found himself in a bit of a jam. He had gone to a wedding and the reception, gotten completely tanked, and then tried driving home on the back roads to avoid getting picked up and wound up in the ditch. He had called me since I was the only person who actually answered and was begging me to come pick him up before someone saw him and called the cops. HE then made me promise I wouldn't call the cops before he would tell me where he is.

Now, you notice how I said former friend? This was the asshole who was sleeping with my wife behind my back for years before shit hit the fan. Yah, he's got some balls. He also has 3 DWIs already, no drivers license, and I know for a fact he couldn't have been driving his own car, as it has a breathe tester installed in it. So here I am, getting dressed, pissed off about the fact that I have to go pick this dummy up after promising that I wouldn't call the cops on him. Fuck. But then, a thought crossed my mind. I grabbed my phone, and called up this young lady I have been seeing once in a while as of late. She is important for two reasons. One, she hates this guy possibly more than I do, and two? Her father just so happens to be the god damned Sheriff. I said I wouldn't call the cops. Never said anything about anyone else. So..... yah.

Needless to say, by the time I got out there there was already a county sheriff car there, and his sorry ass was in the back seat handcuffed and crying like a bitch. I talked to the deputy who had shown up, turns out he blew just shy of three times the legal limit. So he's completely fucked. I asked about the car, he said the wrecker was already on the way to impound it and that the county was going to confiscate it as per regulations. I looked at the car, and quickly realized who owned it. Turns out Karma is a mother fucker, as it was the new car my ex wife had just bought. I don't think she has even made the first payment yet. Whoops.

So yah. I got the asshole who was sleeping with my wife arrested and carted off the jail for a good long time, get her new car impounded and confiscated by the county, and all the while I am going to be completely innocent of everything because I technically never broke my word about calling the cops. Life may be shit, but sometimes it can still smell like roses.
 
The moist revenge of the Dirt Road Shitter. Very nice
 
the moist revenge has me loling


what dendrites you have
 
Got some guy rustled out of his mind in the Heavies cause I confused Bill Russell for Morgan Freeman lmao

http://forums.sherdog.com/posts/122545003/

Jawbox01 said:
Bill Russell dumbass.
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Jawbox01 said:
You stupid uneducated worthless idiot. Morgie goes to theatres and plays. Bill Russell is an NBA Hall of Famer. There's even a Celtics hat to clue your stupid ass in.
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Jawbox01 said:
Yes you are a Neanderthal, glad you admitted it.
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It takes a lot of balls to call up a dude who's wife you're banging to pick you up at 4am to avoid a DUI.
 
Fucking lol at the Samuel Jackson gif
 
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