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Problem with Older Brother

Pupi said:
respect is important, but it seems as if it's not reciprocal between you two. i wouldn't be surprised if it was envy either. you're the young brother with a degree and he's the older brother that sits at home all day eating cheetos and scratching his balls. he possibly thinks that you're in a better position in life, despite him having more time to polish himself, and wants to criticize your relationship cus he's married and feels as if he has more experience on that subject, which he does. just don't sweat it and do what you want. everybody and every circumstance is different.
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Speaking exactly what I'm thinking. I'll keep on doing what I'm doing. I welcome when he voices his concerns. I listen to his concerns, but I filter it out when he's just hissy fitting. Thanks for the advice, bro.
 
Snakesolidsnake said:
Do what is right for you. If he can't be happy for you, then I don't know what to say. Chances are, he'd be upset regardless who you are dating.
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I strongly suspect that too. He was never enthralled with any of my past gf's, so I doubt it'll change.
 
Pupi said:
seems like you're a pushover. what you gotta do is simple: keep getting pussy and tell your brother to fuck off.
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Can you specify hours here, when u work with eachother and when u r with ur gf
If he was telling u to spend more time with him playing.pool and watching baseball i would say to tell him to.f off
But if hes trying to make a career out of this turntables stuff and you dont match his ambition or dedication then u should f off.

U say when u guys work his gf is part of.the group. Then u say she has a job. If she has a job then during this time u guys arnt working which could be time spent with ur gf
 
Bro sounds like a dick. Have a conversation with him when he's calm and ask him to be nicer.
 
lakersfan45 said:
Can you specify hours here, when u work with eachother and when u r with ur gf
If he was telling u to spend more time with him playing.pool and watching baseball i would say to tell him to.f off
But if hes trying to make a career out of this turntables stuff and you dont match his ambition or dedication then u should f off.

U say when u guys work his gf is part of.the group. Then u say she has a job. If she has a job then during this time u guys arnt working which could be time spent with ur gf
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Oh we already got schedules and everything down mate. He still gets angry when I spend time with my gf before and after hours. That's what's bothering me.
 
CreativeTomato said:
So basically, I'm going to try to make this as short as possible:

I've been a relationship with my lady for two months now. Everything's going mint, all is happy. Except for my older brother, who hates her. You see, I live with my younger brother, older brother, and my older bro's wife.

We're trying to start a turntablist career with all four of us under the guidance of a local producer who's been in the game for nearly 20 years. My older brother is obsessed with showing the local DJs up who previously screwed him over and basically laid ground rules in that we practise every bloody day till midnight. He doesn't consider my personal time with my lady as important, which is easy for him to say; his own lady is part of our group so of course he can spend time with her every day. His lady also works an he has no job, and is lazy to look for a job.

My lady respects what I'm doing and is more than willing to give me the room to practise for my career. However whenever she wans to spend time with me, he mocks her and calls her needy when we hardly hang out as it is, which pisses me off. He also doesn't trust me in that I'll be dedicated to this because of her distracting me, which is bullshit. He has no room to talk about my dedication; I graduated summa cum laude from the uni and I'm looking for a job.

He first bitches because he accused me of being antisocial when I'm around her. I fixed that problem and now we want to spend time with others here, and he still bitches. I'm happy with this lady, and I think he's being extremely selfish and obsessed with this whole endeavour. I'm dedicated to this as everyone else is, but he's pushing it too far to where I have to suffer with my roomies and their hermit lifestyle. Me going out once in awhile is a threat to them, and I just want to go apeshit. Any Mayberrians with advice to spare?

Cliffs:
-overbearing older brother who refuses to understand that I have a relationship
-older brother paranoid that I will abandon our turntablist endeavour, even though we're bound by contract to do what we must.
-older brother is unemployed and his wife works, leaving him sitting at home, meaning I have to do the same or else.
-I graduated college and I'm looking for a job, so I believe he has no right to be condescending to me
-Never wants me to spend time with my gf
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I've been in a bunch of bands before and the one thing I can tell you is that being in a band with someone who has an explosive temper is never a good thing. It may seem manageable for awhile, but if it goes anywhere, you'll be stuck together and start hating each other. In my opinion, turning tables with him is not a worthwhile pursuit. I would kindly tell him, "all the best", spend more time with your lady and use your smarts to get a good job.
 
Question.

Is your girl much better looking than his? I mean this, is it a jealousy thing? Maybe he is jealous of you and this is how he vents. How much older is he too.
 
Are you guys any good? Are you more talented then your brother? Seems more to this..
 
Blitz55 said:
Question.

Is your girl much better looking than his? I mean this, is it a jealousy thing? Maybe he is jealous of you and this is how he vents. How much older is he too.
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I'd say they're about even looks-wise. Jealousy wise, like Pupi said, I have a college degree and he didn't finish past freshman year. He's 25. I'm 23.
 
thoughtsone said:
Are you guys any good? Are you more talented then your brother? Seems more to this..
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God knows I hate tooting my horn, but I have better knowledge of music and composition than he does. In terms of spinning I'm already better than he is in terms of beatmatching. Lately it has been me, my in-law, and my little brother putting in more time than my older brother, who seems more content at barking orders at us, than applying himself. At our boss' studio though, he's on his best behaviour and applies himself.
 
CreativeTomato said:
Yeah, you have a point and like the other user said, bros before hoes. It's just tough talkin to him since he has an explosive temper and I've gottensweary of that over the years. I just wish he would just tell her flat out what his issues are with her.
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i'm an older brother that used to become hot-headed, and my younger brother would be afraid to confront me about it. it wasn't until i saw him become emotional about it that i realized that i needed to change my ways.

i would have a heart-to-heart with him. it could be that he doesn't really see the damage he's causing.
 
Tell him straight up. He'll either respect you for this, or he'll prove to be a complete dick. Either way, it should be able to help you with your decision on what to do.
 
IIIIIIII said:
i'm an older brother that used to become hot-headed, and my younger brother would be afraid to confront me about it. it wasn't until i saw him become emotional about it that i realized that i needed to change my ways.

i would have a heart-to-heart with him. it could be that he doesn't really see the damage he's causing.
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I hope so, mate. Ill try to talk to him when he's not his usual wise-ass macho self. Thanks for the advice. Noblet also made a good point. Kudos to you too.
 
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