- Joined
- Aug 9, 2013
- Messages
- 2,128
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- 167
Firstly, I don't want this getting moved to multimedia forum, so the title is cryptic.
Pride fans will know what I'm talking about.
Extremely nostalgic.
When I hear it again - I just have to write about it cause, the first time I watched it, how it resonated with me, where I was at then - all the hopes and dreams, what resulted - and where I'm at now.
Simply put, one of the most heartbreaking, soulful, emotive, affective videos; reminds me of - me - like Pride itself, all those hopes and dreams, aspirations, passions - simply put; coming to an untimely, unforeseeable and crushing demise.
When I watched this for the first time, it was the depths of winter in a strange new land, minus 15 and 4 inches of snow outside.
I had rented a room in an apartment with an ex-war vet, whom I would later come to learn had all sorts of closet perversions and fetishes.
I had just lost my job and therefore, visa, in another country, which was why I was here - in yet another foreign land.
22 years old - desperate, isolated, worn down to a nub, in a brave new world, and brave new culture, country - no friends, family, nobody but this ex-war vet whom I would soon learn took me in as a tenant, cause he was closet homosexual with a fetish for men half his age.
The only thing I hung onto - was the dream of becoming a fighter, and, if I'm being honest, a motherfuckin' fuckin' playboy with the bitches.
And over the next 8 years, my environment crushed me and beat me down so bad, that I couldn't even hold down a part time job by the end of it.
The world - would beat me down, like it was a title fight, and won so emphatically, it had me begging for mercy.
And now here I am - listening to that same melody, watching the same figures who inspired me so profoundly, performing the acts which at one time gave me a strength and purpose in life, I didn't think it conceivable to have.
A time when I would have taken on the world, and his brother.
And now....... all I have to show for it is, if I'm being honest:
Not a qualification, not a relationship, not two pennies to rub together.
Not even a good memory.
Yet somewhere inside, somehow - this video makes me believe that, despite the impossible - something, somehow, could rise from the ashes.
Pride fans will know what I'm talking about.
Extremely nostalgic.
When I hear it again - I just have to write about it cause, the first time I watched it, how it resonated with me, where I was at then - all the hopes and dreams, what resulted - and where I'm at now.
Simply put, one of the most heartbreaking, soulful, emotive, affective videos; reminds me of - me - like Pride itself, all those hopes and dreams, aspirations, passions - simply put; coming to an untimely, unforeseeable and crushing demise.
When I watched this for the first time, it was the depths of winter in a strange new land, minus 15 and 4 inches of snow outside.
I had rented a room in an apartment with an ex-war vet, whom I would later come to learn had all sorts of closet perversions and fetishes.
I had just lost my job and therefore, visa, in another country, which was why I was here - in yet another foreign land.
22 years old - desperate, isolated, worn down to a nub, in a brave new world, and brave new culture, country - no friends, family, nobody but this ex-war vet whom I would soon learn took me in as a tenant, cause he was closet homosexual with a fetish for men half his age.
The only thing I hung onto - was the dream of becoming a fighter, and, if I'm being honest, a motherfuckin' fuckin' playboy with the bitches.
And over the next 8 years, my environment crushed me and beat me down so bad, that I couldn't even hold down a part time job by the end of it.
The world - would beat me down, like it was a title fight, and won so emphatically, it had me begging for mercy.
And now here I am - listening to that same melody, watching the same figures who inspired me so profoundly, performing the acts which at one time gave me a strength and purpose in life, I didn't think it conceivable to have.
A time when I would have taken on the world, and his brother.
And now....... all I have to show for it is, if I'm being honest:
Not a qualification, not a relationship, not two pennies to rub together.
Not even a good memory.
Yet somewhere inside, somehow - this video makes me believe that, despite the impossible - something, somehow, could rise from the ashes.
