Partying with Rockhold story...

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  • Start date Start date
Lavitz said:
You're taking your daily 2 am walk and notice a new cool abandoned building. Without hesitation you break into the building. It's mostly empty and you come across a creepy long hallway. You decide it's time to go but something starts materializing from the ground. The shape is at first a blob of black goo but soon it takes a human shape.

It's Dana fucking White.
USATSI_7086248.jpg

Suddenly loud blaring old UFC music starts playing.



You're frozen with confusion. Dana strides over to you matching the beat of the drums with his steps.

He stares you down and says " Alright kid, You wanna be a fucking fighter?" He laughs and slaps you in the face. "Of course you do!" he declares with a hint of whiskey in his breath.

"Okay listen kid, you'll have 4 months to prepare." He points to doors around you and says behind each door is a MMA camps head coach. You'll have access to all the training partners, facilities and coaches depending on what door you picked first. Your opponent is already set.

Pick one below: Only one. Feeling lucky?


Jackson
uq2qgDal.jpeg

Edmond
Ronda+Rousey+Hosts+Media+Day+Ahead+Rousey+lZCInxjEVGHl.jpg


Cordeiro
images

Firas
zahabi_firas-1040x572.jpg
images

Hume
matthume-1-e1461012047674.jpg

Your opponents(pick one at random):

Tank abbot(prime)
CM Punk
Ronda Rousey
Yoel Romero
Your next door neighbor
Anthony Johnson
Gabe ruediger
Gabi Garcia
Click to expand...


This was hilarious, nice.
 
Am I getting dumber just By clicking on this thread ?

the constant inference is mindlessly obscene
 
Last edited:
can't believe how awkward rockhold is. doesnt make sense
 
jeff7b9 said:
Ok. Here is a story. It doesn’t involve Luke Rockhold, or cocaine (I have other cocaine stories though)


So this was about 20 years ago. I was on a semester abroad in New Zealand. I was at a bar with other international students and we were going on a road trip the next morning.
It is getting late, I’m drunk and this girl was flirting with me, she had approached me earlier in the night and I had rejected her but as it got later I got drunk and lowered my standards. She was really hands on and aggressive so I figured it was a sure thing.

I go back to her dorm room and start fooling around. At the bar she had been grabbing my dick, but back at her room all the sudden she gets prude and keeps her hands strictly above my waist. At this point I feel like I have been conned, and brought home under false pretenses, so I did something I had never done before and never did again... I kept her awake until she finally gave in around 6am and went down on me.

as I alluded to before, she was not an attractive girl, and I had no intention of seeing her again, so when she went to the bathroom down the hall to brush her teeth, I grabbed my shit and dashed. Not wanting to get caught and be stuck in an awkward conversation, I literally grabbed my clothes, shoes and keys ran to the stairwell, got changed in there and headed to my friends car since we were meeting there in the morning to leave for our road trip.

We go on our trip, and later that afternoon we arrive to unpack at a youth hostel at which point I realize that I have two sets of keys, my keys were already in my pocket and I guess I grabbed her keys since all the keys at that school look exactly the same and come on this wristband keychain thing they give to everyone on the first day.


So I get back on Sunday and this girl sees me in the cafeteria. She was with her friend who is giving me the most scornful hate filled look as they explain (After demanding I return her keys) that she spent the entire weekend locked out of her room because the door locked behind me and I had her keys. She didn’t even have any clothes on when she got locked out, just a robe and she had to walk across campus and bang on her friend’s window because her student ID was in her room so she couldn’t get into any buildings on campus and her friend basically had to babysit her all weekend. she had to sleep on her friend’s floor, borrow clothes, she missed work on Saturday, etc.


Obviously she never spoke to me again, and she clearly told the story to several of her friends, so for the rest of the semester I would randomly get dirty looks from random girls I didn’t know.
Click to expand...
She refused your hands going down below her waist because she was packing bigger beef than your Vienna sausage, bro. Should've kept this story to yourself.
ackbar_wide-f0a673c875361830e84eaa3b98f7f886a750b0e5.jpg
 
Lavitz said:
You're taking your daily 2 am walk and notice a new cool abandoned building. Without hesitation you break into the building. It's mostly empty and you come across a creepy long hallway. You decide it's time to go but something starts materializing from the ground. The shape is at first a blob of black goo but soon it takes a human shape.

It's Dana fucking White.
USATSI_7086248.jpg

Suddenly loud blaring old UFC music starts playing.



You're frozen with confusion. Dana strides over to you matching the beat of the drums with his steps.

He stares you down and says " Alright kid, You wanna be a fucking fighter?" He laughs and slaps you in the face. "Of course you do!" he declares with a hint of whiskey in his breath.

"Okay listen kid, you'll have 4 months to prepare." He points to doors around you and says behind each door is a MMA camps head coach. You'll have access to all the training partners, facilities and coaches depending on what door you picked first. Your opponent is already set.

Pick one below: Only one. Feeling lucky?


Jackson
uq2qgDal.jpeg

Edmond
Ronda+Rousey+Hosts+Media+Day+Ahead+Rousey+lZCInxjEVGHl.jpg


Cordeiro
images

Firas
zahabi_firas-1040x572.jpg
images

Hume
matthume-1-e1461012047674.jpg

Your opponents(pick one at random):

Tank abbot(prime)
CM Punk
Ronda Rousey
Yoel Romero
Your next door neighbor
Anthony Johnson
Gabe ruediger
Gabi Garcia
Click to expand...

Dana-White-Oh-Yeah.gif


Guess I'm dead by the way. Not even Matt Hume can help me against Prime Tank.
 
My mind is always blown by how terrible Luke’s personality is when interviewed. He legit looks labored when trying to think of what to say, I get super uncomfortable watching it. It’s insane how much it fulfills the stereotype of the really good looking people having really bad personalities.
 
Lawrence said:
I've got one.

This was back when Luke was banging Demi L.

We were partying at a beach house right after a red carped event south of Santa Monica and Demi was lit on some kind of dab.

She was trying to tie the tails of two cats together and throw them over a cloths line. I mean it was a mess, her arms were all scratched up and she couldn't feel it I guess because of the dab.

Luke was like "what are you doing Demi, this is California, the home of PETA and people have cameras! She was like....... "Fucking Cat Thunderdome" this shit is going to be great.

Finally Luke saved the cats by throwing a bucket of Ice water on Demi. She did not respond well and that's when they broke up.

Minutes before the incident
View attachment 820910
Click to expand...
Brah you got a weird fetish.
I like it
 
SilverHorizon said:
My mind is always blown by how terrible Luke’s personality is when interviewed. He legit looks labored when trying to think of what to say, I get super uncomfortable watching it. It’s insane how much it fulfills the stereotype of the really good looking people having really bad personalities.
Click to expand...



Believe it or not, there have been a considerable number of folks that have called me "handsome" and a "good-looking guy."

Also, there are users on Sherdog that have called me a WEIRDO. You might have a valid point there.
 
blaseblah said:
{<huh}

You made a thread calling out another poster to provide thread worthy content? What on Earth convinced you this was a good idea?
Click to expand...
and a "party with rockhold: story sounds lame as fuck. I can't think of a dude I would not want to party with more..
 
HerpDerp said:
Dude's on the spectrum for sure. He exhibits all the signs.
Click to expand...



Luke Rockhold is the former UFC Middleweight World Champion (with 0 title defences).

Even if Rockhold is "on the spectrum" (as you put it), he's already done more in his life than you'll PROBABLY do if you lived to be 180 years old.
 
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