Overbearing parents

[White Mongoose]

Today I was reading a article on cracked.com. Saw a section about helicopter parents.

It talk about how some parents with children who are away at college would still schedule their children's life by hours, have accessible to their personal email, bank account, and everything.
If that's not bad enough, they would help with landing a job, meaning they actually go to the interview with their children and try to help with negotiating for salary and stuff!

Ever knew any parents or children in such situation?
I know a few... Will write about it if there's some posts.


How far would you say is going too far?
I believe it really depends on the situation. I believe once the kid move out... They should be on their own! Hell I'd never ever let my parents have accessible to my email or anything like that at any age!
I think only time parents should have their nose up the children's ass is if they are the one paying for their children education, but they should only be able to see their grade and nothing more.
However I've had one friend whose really fucked up his credit and begged his parents to bail him out. His parents was furious so they made deal with him, they would bail him out but they will have accessible to his bank account so they can monitor it for few years until they are sure he can manage it on his own. It seems to do a lot of goods for him as he is now looking for a house to buy because he was able to get his shit together and save up.

 

[Rvd Slmr]

If that's not bad enough, they would help with landing a job, meaning they actually go to the interview with their children and try to help with negotiating for salary and stuff!

Who the fuck would hire someone that can't do anything without his parents?

 

[White Mongoose]

Who the fuck would hire someone that can't do anything without his parents?

My question exactly! I know in my field, they'd be laughed out of the office.

 

[White Mongoose]

May somebody here can answer our question? I'm sure someone must have a relative (or friend?) who cannot do anything unless one of their parent are holding their hand.

 

[Lost Limb**]

My question exactly! I know in my field, they'd be laughed out of the office.

Same

 

[toaa]

My parents are very involved with my life although I'm away at school. They deposit money into my debit account for things like gas and food, while I use my loan money for rent and utilities. I'm in grad school and not working in order to focus on school so they help me with finances. Other than that, I do almost everything for myself.

 

[the ax murderer]

Ha I just read this, I enjoyed the part about the Long Island Vengeance.

 

[White Mongoose]

My parents are very involved with my life although I'm away at school. They deposit money into my debit account for things like gas and food, while I use my loan money for rent and utilities. I'm in grad school and not working in order to focus on school so they help me with finances. Other than that, I do almost everything for myself.

Hm... Can I ask... What were they like when you were in high school and now?
Was there any sort of agreement on the money being deposited into your account and stuff? Do they keep an eye on your account?
How involved are they in your life? How far do it go?

I think helping kid financially is nothing weird or creepy. Hell I was one fiercely independent kid after my parents divorce (mainly because my dad was too drunk to do a thing when I lived with him) but when I was about to attend university. My family basically told me as long as I do good, they will pay for my needs.
So if I didn't get kicked out after only 4 months, they would have paid for my housing/dorm, tution, foods, and everything else and no body would ever know about it or notice anything odd.
But of course being a independent stubborn kid with a mind of his own who live for thrills, I got the boot. So no penny was even paid.

 

[Aquabot]

Reminds me of the college football player who had his letter of intent stolen by his mom because she wanted him to go to a different school. She even had a lawyer and was trying to find some legal way to prevent him from leaving. Insanity.

I've got a friend who has cerebral palsy and his mom babies him even though he is 25 and can function fully just fine. She still does stuff like buys him video games, brings him lunch to his work place several times a month, and even tried to get him laid. I guess the last part is kind of cool. With his condition its hard/impossible for him to meet girls and his mom had his dad bring him to a strip club when he was 22 to get lap dances. It gets even crazier, she even straight up offered to get him a hooker off of craigslist. I feel bad for the guy because I know he is really embarrassed by her but won't tell her to stop. I told him he needs to man up and get her to stop but whatever, its a family issue so I am not getting involved.

 

[toaa]

Hm... Can I ask... What were they like when you were in high school and now?
Was there any sort of agreement on the money being deposited into your account and stuff? Do they keep an eye on your account?
How involved are they in your life? How far do it go?

I think helping kid financially is nothing weird or creepy. Hell I was one fiercely independent kid after my parents divorce (mainly because my dad was too drunk to do a thing when I lived with him) but when I was about to attend university. My family basically told me as long as I do good, they will pay for my needs.
So if I didn't get kicked out after only 4 months, they would have paid for my housing/dorm, tution, foods, and everything else and no body would ever know about it or notice anything odd.
But of course being a independent stubborn kid with a mind of his own who live for thrills, I got the boot. So no penny was even paid.

I have always had a very lenient relationship with my parents. I've always gotten really good grades and was never in trouble in school so my parents have always trusted me. I never had a curfew, my parents didn't worry about me going anywhere, and I was always well taken care of because I was such an easy going kid. My parents helped me with a few things application-wise for college and some tax stuff, but it's been a long time since they could help me with school work. They've always had a car available for me to use so I didn't have to buy one. We get along well and I'm really close with both my parents.

 

[Edwin]

One of my closest friends had his mom and aunt do all his paperwork for him in the first 2 or 3 years of our university education.

It was sad and hilarious.

We went to get orientation to the university, I went by myself obviously, he went with his aunt, I sorted all of my things out, she sorted everything out for him.

After that, we got into the university partying night life and we started drinking and our grades never took off. However despite the night life we had, his mom and aunt still dug him out of the holes he got himself into, I got myself out.

Then I got serious about it and began busting my butt and began getting good grades and stopped the partying, began going to church and focusing on God and other positive things that kept my mind busy and away from partying and drinking and I got a girlfriend and totally turned my university studies around. I graduated with a high GPA in the end (thank God, all the glory to Him for the help).

He's kept on his party night life and we were supossed to graduate in the same year, however he never got out of the whole and is still studying and is about to graduate, but without a GPA as high as mine.

Anyway, back to the topic, it was sad and hilarious that he we would go partying and drinking at night and during the day his aunt and mom would do his university paperwork and the other stuff.

He's not the only one to do so though as I've seen various students at the university I used to study at having their parents sort out their paperwork for them.

 

[ZappBrannigan]

If was interviewing someone and they asked if their parents could come in, I would stop right there and tell them to leave.

If you try to run your kids life after 18, they are going to grow up Losers.

 

[White Mongoose]

I have always had a very lenient relationship with my parents. I've always gotten really good grades and was never in trouble in school so my parents have always trusted me. I never had a curfew, my parents didn't worry about me going anywhere, and I was always well taken care of because I was such an easy going kid. My parents helped me with a few things application-wise for college and some tax stuff, but it's been a long time since they could help me with school work. They've always had a car available for me to use so I didn't have to buy one. We get along well and I'm really close with both my parents.

Sound very much like my parents (well... My mom and step dad) but the thing is when I was younger, I wasn't the best kid. So they have to keep very close eyes on me and be really firm with me otherwise it would be chaotic.
However they are pretty much same way (minus car) with my sister and half brother.
It isn't like they are poking their nose into your personal life or controlling every move you make or anything like that.
That sound like a very normal good parents to me. May other would see it differently *shrug*

Reminds me of the college football player who had his letter of intent stolen by his mom because she wanted him to go to a different school. She even had a lawyer and was trying to find some legal way to prevent him from leaving. Insanity.

I've got a friend who has cerebral palsy and his mom babies him even though he is 25 and can function fully just fine. She still does stuff like buys him video games, brings him lunch to his work place several times a month, and even tried to get him laid. I guess the last part is kind of cool. With his condition its hard/impossible for him to meet girls and his mom had his dad bring him to a strip club when he was 22 to get lap dances. It gets even crazier, she even straight up offered to get him a hooker off of craigslist. I feel bad for the guy because I know he is really embarrassed by her but won't tell her to stop. I told him he needs to man up and get her to stop but whatever, its a family issue so I am not getting involved.

Wow... If I was that football player, I'd just disappear!
About your friend, that's sad. He was conditioned to believe that he cannot live on his own or independently, so now he is stuck in that hole.
However trying to get him laid is creepy. I can somewhat sympathy him since I'm deaf and know how tough it could be to meet people and stuff. But I do still get laid here and there. But I believe that he was pretty much conditioned to be this way which is sad. His parents sound pretty cool but they made mistake of coddling him because of his condition instead of treating him as normal as possible.
Do he have a sibling? If so how are they treated?
I had a friend who happen to be the only deaf out of a large family... Yet when his mother passed away, his mother gave him the house simply because she feel he need it more than others due to being deaf. So that's why I'm asking.

 

[Chernabog]

I like to go down with my own ship without anyone trying to salvage it. That way I learn to swim from the wreckage and build a better boat.

 

[White Mongoose]

...

WOW! LOL!!! That's messed up! Gotta wonder how his life is gonna turn out once everybody realize that his aunt and mom cannot do his job for him when he have to grow up and get a job!
Now kinda make me wonder if a large gap in resume after college mean the person was struggling to find their footing due to this type of thing.

 

[sideboob]

Reminds me of a co-worker at a former job. This twat has a 22 year old cokehead daughter who's in Australia getting her masters in Music Ministry. Mommy still calls her (well Skypes now) at LEAST twice a day. When she was in NY for undergrad, Mommy and grand pa (who is some rich dude who owns like half of Greenville, DE) paid for EVERYTHING. Up to and including Mommy calling to set up cable installation appointments and going up to NY 2x/month to help spoiled bitch daughter do grocery shopping. Kid was completely helpless.

She also has a 19 year old son at Coastal Carolina for whom both she and the daughter have been writing term papers for the past year and a half. Kid is on his own, enough so that he's in trouble w/ the law for a fake ID at a bar and might get kicked out of school but Mommy is still doing his homework for him. LOLcopter.

 

[Edwin]

Some of these stories smh. It's a shame really.

It's one thing to live with your parents and to have them help you financially and all, but it's totally out of proportion to have them do everything for you. It's a little embarrassing if you ask me.

 

[White Mongoose]

Well here's few people I know with overbearing parents.

In high school, my group of friend (there was five of us) who were supposed to graduate together and three of us got accepted into same university. This guy, I will call him Gabe... Was one of us. We all were tight knitted buddies since beginning of high school. So Gabe decided early in high school that he want to go into electricity field and was starting to take classes related to that field and was trying to get a summer job as a helper and stuff. That was cool.
It start to get awkward when he turned 16. He was supposed to get a car. Of course, being in that age range, we all were pointing out cool sport cars and stuff he could buy. Guess what he end up get? A fucking van! Why?! Because his mom say it is better for him!
We let that slip. During our senior year, we were in habit of ditching classes almost everyday. It get to point where we have a failproof system that always work. Yet Gabe (who was 19 by now) never ever ditched once in his whole high school year simply because he asked his mom if he can! Of course, his mom say no! WTF?! Even when it was close to end of school and we all were pretty much done with everything and just counting the days toward graduation. We all bust our ass to make time to meet at this restaurant and beg Gabe and promising to help him get out and back in without getting caught at all. We even go as far as asking the teacher of that period if she would turn blind eye to it just once (she gladly agreed and even encouraged Gabe) Gabe FINALLY agreed.
When the time come... We were suppose to personally meet him and escort him simply because he was too scared. Guess what? He was in the room which mean we cannot get to him!
After graduation... We cut him loose.
Two years later, we learned he was in community college majoring in market because his parents told him to and this guy have a fucking certificate in electricity which was very high in demand in our area and extremely well paying career! He also doesn't have myspace because his mom won't let him and we cannot email him because he share email with his mom!
He also never had a girlfriend or date or anything!
Needless to say he pretty much have no friends now and no memory to enjoy with other and laugh with others and is a butt of joke for us. We couldnt mention his name without snickering.


Then there's a relative of mine. He is nearly 40 and have lived with his parents his whole life despite of having two college degrees and two trades certificate. He would get a job and always hold onto it then move out for a few months before move back in with his parents despite of having a decent paying job. Then he'd lost job over stupid things every fucking time. His parents even moved out of the state... He end up move out of the state and live right next door to his parents! His parents end up move out of state a few more times and he did too to follow them.
At one stage, his parents live in senior citizen apartment. Guess what he did? Well his parents bought a RV and he live in it while parking right by the apartment complex!
Also he haven't had a girlfriend since he was 22!

 

[mister who]

I wish I had more involved parents. Even overbearing parents sound better than ones that show no interest.

 

[White Mongoose]

UGH! Thinking about Gabe just make me want to puke now. If he went into his field, he'd be making over 100K a year easily by now. Yet he choose fucking marketing because his parents told him to!

I swear helicopter parenting is just as bad as child abuse.