Old Internet Sh*t

[DougieJones]

Are you ready to get pumped (realultimatepower.net)

I can't believe I even remembered this. Not sure it has aged well but at onetime it caused a laugh

"Ninjas can kill anyone they want! Ninjas cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this ninja who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the ninja killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a ninja totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window."

HOLY SHITTTT I forgot all about this lol!!

 

[DougieJones]

The King's Gold/Babes

Scene 1:

In the olden days, there was this sweet king that had mounds of gold and babes. These pirates decided to steal the mounds and surrounded the castle and everybody freaked, except the king who was like “Chill homies, I’ll handle this crap.”

The pirates stood outside the castle walls and were like “You think you are so cool, but guess what, you’re not. Good luck dying!” Then the king replied “Yeah right. How would you like to meet my best friends?”

Then out of nowhere there was a small sound of a guitar wailing really really hard behind the hills. The wailing started getting louder and louder and louder. Then out of nowhere there was this one sweet ass ninja standing on top of a huge hill. Everybody was like “Woooooooooooow!” He was wearing all black and he had this jet red guitar in his hands. Then smoke smoked over the hills like trains. But the smoke was ninjas. And the pirates saw about a billion ninjas with guitars standing on top this his huge hill. And they started to wail…

When the ninjas wailed on their guitars, the pirates started spraying diarrhea on each other and loved it. And when they wailed harder, the pirates sprayed harder. As the ninjas sauntered down the hill, the pirates’ chests and butts exploded. (They died from this.) Then the ninjas finally reached the boss pirate who was really huge. Out of nowhere the boss pirate pulled out this baby banjo and tried to fiddle with it like a little baby-baby. The ninjas were like “Yeah right.” and all the billions of ninjas surrounded the boss pirate. Half of the ninjas all combined to form the biggest guitar in the universe. The other half formed the second biggest boner in the universe. Then the huge guitar pointed right at the pirate, who was like “Holy CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!” Before the pirate could even do anything, the super boner slapped against the guitar making the hugest wail ever to happen anywhere ever. The pirate exploded so hard that every single one of his kids he would have had exploded and all of his grandparents exploded along with his neighbors and people who he merely said “hello” to.

Then there was this huge concert at the castle. All the babes in the castle morphed into this humongous female crotch. The huge boner and crotch porked softly, while slamming into the guitar and wailing. And guess what, the king sat on top of this huge pile of gold and babes and laughed his frigg’n ass off about how stupid the pirates were.

END

-this script is so hot it could make Janet Reno open up a paint can with her ding dong.

 

[Madmartigains]

 

[Madmartigains]

 

[Madmartigains]

 

[Madmartigains]

 

[Madmartigains]

 

[Madmartigains]

 

[nonoob]

Attitude Era Stone Cold's alpha humor & stunners. WHAT WHAT WHAT !

 

[Madmartigains]

 

[Madmartigains]

 

[StonedLemur]

This forum is officially done for

Its better than talking about Izzy for the 90th time lol

 

[DougieJones]

dam homie u on a roll lol

 

[Joshuaace]

Primary account worthy stuff right there.

 

[Jack Reacheround]

Peanut butter jelly time!

 

[Joshuaace]

 

[DougieJones]

<{chips}>

Think we found the descendant of that Mexican alien

 

[MLarson]

Who Dis?

 

[MLarson]

Old internet is still the best internet.

 

[DougieJones]

Old internet is still the best internet.

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