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Sorry for your loss.
On a side note
My first GF/first love died back in June from a heroin overdose. I didn't find out about it until September when my mother called me and gave me the news. Apparently they found her in her car at a local park after searching for her for 2 days. She had 2 sons and had recently been divorced. I lost contact with her more than 15 years ago so I was surprised how emotionally impacted I was when my mother told me the news. My mom was very fond of her and so attended her wake and funeral. She spoke to some of her family and said that according to them E had been battling addiction for many years, in and out of rehab, and arrested many times for drug possession, petty theft, and prostitution. She had been doing better the last few years: she went to nursing school, got a job, married her addiction counselor and had 2 kids with him. But something changed in her recently and her home life and work life started to sour and she was back to her old tricks and then not long after she was dead.
I only feel ok talking about this now but the last 3 months were grief stricken. Every time I think of her I can't help but remember her as that cute, sweet, innocent girl I met in high school. It's crazy how some memories never die they just get buried, waiting to resurface at the slightest provocation. I went through a box of stuff she had given me long ago and read some old letters, all those naive and innocent dreams were like salt in my wound. I wish I had been better. I wish I loved her more. I know it's crazy to blame myself for what happened to her, but in a way I do. Life can be really unfair sometimes and the sweetest and kindest people can get the worst of it.
We mutually agreed to split. I left the state for a job opportunity and we tried to maintain the relationship but after about 10 months of doing the long distance thing she said it was too hard for her and that we should split. I didn't want to split but I also knew I wasn't moving back home, so fearing that she would cheat on me (if she already wasn't) I agreed to the breakup. We kept in touch for a few years and I had hope we would reconnect, but then she just fell out of the picture completely.Condolences, sherbro. Who initiated the breakup?
We stayed in touch for a few years after the breakup and I'm sure she knew I had a hope that we would reconnect but alas it just didn't work out that way. Life and suchDid you ever tell her you were still in love with her?
We were together a little more than 6 years, starting in sophomore year of high school. And yeah, we nade all these grand plans to get married, but a house, have kids etc ... We talked about these things from the very beginning and I think we both really believed in that dream, but alas life has a way of changing plans, no matter how sweet and well intentioned they are....First thing first, sorry for your loss. Even after 15 years, grief for young love is serious business. When you are young, everything has a greater level of impact and that includes love. While when you get older, things lose their impact, be it good or bad. That being said, I am wondering few things:
How long were you guys together?
Did you guys plan to get married?
I ask because you mentioned that you wished you loved her more. Was there talk of marriage or serious relationship and disagreement?
My first GF/first love died back in June from a heroin overdose. I didn't find out about it until September when my mother called me and gave me the news. Apparently they found her in her car at a local park after searching for her for 2 days. She had 2 sons and had recently been divorced. I lost contact with her more than 15 years ago so I was surprised how emotionally impacted I was when my mother told me the news. My mom was very fond of her and so attended her wake and funeral. She spoke to some of her family and said that according to them E had been battling addiction for many years, in and out of rehab, and arrested many times for drug possession, petty theft, and prostitution. She had been doing better the last few years: she went to nursing school, got a job, married her addiction counselor and had 2 kids with him. But something changed in her recently and her home life and work life started to sour and she was back to her old tricks and then not long after she was dead.
I only feel ok talking about this now but the last 3 months were grief stricken. Every time I think of her I can't help but remember her as that cute, sweet, innocent girl I met in high school. It's crazy how some memories never die they just get buried, waiting to resurface at the slightest provocation. I went through a box of stuff she had given me long ago and read some old letters, all those naive and innocent dreams were like salt in my wound. I wish I had been better. I wish I loved her more. I know it's crazy to blame myself for what happened to her, but in a way I do. Life can be really unfair sometimes and the sweetest and kindest people can get the worst of it.