Alright so I was in the audience yesterday at UFC 236 and I had a pretty fucking crazy night! There was a brawl in the crowd and I stepped in and besmirched like 8 people. I went to the bathroom like 30 minutes later and I was kidnapped by 5 guys with guns. Apparently I melted some drug dude. We got in a car and they drove me to a mountain nearby, tied me up and shot me in the leg (currently in the hospital). They had like 15 more guys there and they were speaking a lot of spanish so I couldn't really understand what was going on, but one of the guy told me we will kill you tonight. So I'm like uh, ok I guess. Dude grabs an AK-47 and aims at my head, now out of NOWHERE a helicopter shows up and its none other than Nicolas Cage. He starts shooting everyone with a machine gun while repeating the alphabet over and over again. He's literally killed everyone at this point and he comes down and unties me, grabs some boxes which turns out to be coke, then he leaves in the chopper. I called an ambulance and am now in the hospital. Absolutely insane night.