Lactose intolerance destroying my life

[Osculater]

Bro chocolate isnt exactly sneaky, there is a variety called MILK chocolate.

Blacker the chocolate, sweeter the lead!

 

[-Magua-]

When I’ve dropped ass (silently, Red October style).. with my gal & her friends, & some definite gastro funk: protein shake & chili con carne type gas,
I just blame it on my lil guy.

Then it’s cute & not my swamp ass farts.
Lol… done this a couple times.

He’s caught a few strays for me this way.

 

[d0g]

I don't know if this will work for you but when I was 16 I stopped consuming dairy for maybe 3-4 years. Then I started consuming dairy again on a daily basis and had the typical lactose intolerance symptoms but I kept at it (because I wanted the convenience of being able to eat dairy), and after about 6-8 weeks, I was fine and could tolerate dairy again.

 

[listrahtes]

This sounds more like someone completely unaware of cooking and nutrition. It's not difficult to avoid lactose but it's near impossible if you mostly consume processed food.

Last time I talked with a friend from US her impression was that from younger generation near no one can cook and of they do it tastes horrible and is done with mostly processed ingredients or just unhealthy. Like she asked to bring salad to a party and they would being a "salad cake" with 3 tons of cheese and mayonnaise.

That it's difficult in a lot of restaurants well could be but then just order a salad with vinegar/ oil dressing on your date.

Learn to cook prepare meals and find a way to shop natural fibre including food. There is a lot of ways to avoid lactose

 

[ssBaldy]

Get a fecal transplant from someone who is lactose tolerant

 

[Thepaintbucket]

Eat those lactose pills to help digest.

Drinking 1% fat milk does the worst to me. You don't want to be in the same room as me

 

[Belaya Smert]

Its the pus

 

[Beechwood]

At least the lactose digestion pills are not suppositories. Talk about awkward if they were.

 

[DC23]

Tried a Gluten Free diet for a few days recently. Don’t know how people can do that full time. Would rather die.

 

[Batjester]

It's not lactose intolerance, it's super aids.


Dibs on your stuff.

 

[PG29 red0 Jr]

This thread reminds me of:

 

[William Huggins]

Lactase enzyme tablets........

 

[Xoleth]

As soon as I hit 30, drinking any milk products bloats me, causes instant runs and nausea, break out of hives and irritability. Like when Dr. Jekyll drank a potion and turned into Mr. Hide. I will never get laid again. Just stop drinking milk you say? EVERYTHING has milk.

So on a date am I now supposed to pop a couple lactose pills before a meal. She'll be like bro...what are you taking. Oh...just lactose pills because I'm an old man. If not I will fart on our date all night and vomit on you. Anyone else have this horrific lactose intolerance side line you?

1. You tell her you need to go to toilet, to wash your hands. You go there, you pretend you take a shit, but meanwhile you take the pills. you can use water from the toilet.
Problem solved.

2. You order meat & salad/rice/potatoes etc... Problem solved. Does everything in US involve milk? Seriously?

3. You go vegan. You tell everybody milk = cancer. You actually might have an argument about caseine.

4. You find a woman who has a fart fetish. You drink milk and you fart in her face. She will love you for the next 50 years, you will grow old together, maybe even a couple of children with lactose problems and weird fetishes. You can also do onlyfans with her and retire from your jobs. There is a market for everything these days.


There, I offered you 4 solutions to your problem. Which one will you choose, OP?

 

[ringking1982]

It's not that hard, man.

Are you lactose intolerant?

 

[ringking1982]

1. You tell her you need to go to toilet, to wash your hands. You go there, you pretend you take a shit, but meanwhile you take the pills. you can use water from the toilet.
Problem solved.

2. You order meat & salad/rice/potatoes etc... Problem solved. Does everything in US involve milk? Seriously?

3. You go vegan. You tell everybody milk = cancer. You actually might have an argument about caseine.

4. You find a woman who has a fart fetish. You drink milk and you fart in her face. She will love you for the next 50 years, you will grow old together, maybe even a couple of children with lactose problems and weird fetishes. You can also do onlyfans with her and retire from your jobs. There is a market for everything these days.


There, I offered you 4 solutions to your problem. Which one will you choose, OP?

They are all quite good. I choose option 4! It's the only way I can get laid.

 

[RoastBeast]

Just be like Chuck Norris and refuse to put up with Lactose's shit.

 

[shunyata]

Water, beer, whiskey, and black coffee are all lactose free.

Why would you need to drink anything else?

As for dining out, stick to Asian restaurants (not Indian).

 

[666]

I think you should use this opportunity to test your limits. For dinner one night I recommend having a xl triple cheese jalapeno pizza with a gallon of milk to wash it down and for dessert a tub of ice cream.

Report back with results.

 

[TenderLoving]

Being northern Scandinavian I can actually drink milk like a calf with no ill effect. Gf is lactose intolerant however, so pretty lactose free diet. TS there is a lot of substitutes that is lactose free like cream, etc that's OK. While cheese is no bueno for her, goat cheese is OK. Some dairy also have most of the lactose gone by processes. Look into it. But say goodbye to a creamy sauce for your steak, gotta stick with ketchup

 

[THE Red Beard]

This thread is great lol