Lactose intolerance destroying my life

[ringking1982]

As soon as I hit 30, drinking any milk products bloats me, causes instant runs and nausea, break out of hives and irritability. Like when Dr. Jekyll drank a potion and turned into Mr. Hide. I will never get laid again. Just stop drinking milk you say? EVERYTHING has milk.

So on a date am I now supposed to pop a couple lactose pills before a meal. She'll be like bro...what are you taking. Oh...just lactose pills because I'm an old man. If not I will fart on our date all night and vomit on you. Anyone else have this horrific lactose intolerance side line you?

 

[Volador]

So you cannot conceive of a date that doesn’t involve eating cheese? Who are you dating son, a rat?

 

[clutchCAT420]

Wash your stomach lining and intestines with some tequila. Works for me every time.

 

[StonedLemur]

So you cannot conceive of a date that doesn’t involve eating cheese? Who are you dating son, a rat?

Lmfao

 

[chill doggie]

Sucks you can’t have these

 

[deviake]

Just stop ingesting lactose. There's never been an easier time. Yes, I speak from experience.

 

[Sakuraba'sEar]

As soon as I hit 30, drinking any milk products bloats me, causes instant runs and nausea, break out of hives and irritability. Like when Dr. Jekyll drank a potion and turned into Mr. Hide. I will never get laid again. Just stop drinking milk you say? EVERYTHING has milk.

So on a date am I now supposed to pop a couple lactose pills before a meal. She'll be like bro...what are you taking. Oh...just lactose pills because I'm an old man. If not I will fart on our date all night and vomit on you. Anyone else have this horrific lactose intolerance side line you?

Lactose Tolerance is tilted towards northern europeans by a global high of 70% to 80% tolerance by way of a genetic trait

Basically, the whiter you are the more milk you can enjoy, but the older you get the less you can enjoy from there

 

[Osculater]

Sucks you can’t have these View attachment 1057545

Carbonated malk

 

[ringking1982]

Sucks you can’t have these View attachment 1057545

Bro, that is gross. Would rather drink real milk and almost die than that stuff!

 

[nonoob]

That'd suck, but isn't it just in dairy products? Seems like any search engine could tell all foods you need to avoid...then print a cheat sheet if ya need to.

 

[ringking1982]

That'd suck, but isn't it just in dairy products? Seems like any search engine could tell all foods you need to avoid...then print a cheat sheet if ya need to.

Yes, anything with dairy. Even sneaky thinks like chocolate, etc...

 

[lsa]

avoid things with lactose, problem solved.

 

[Midnighter]

It's not that hard, man.

 

[Fedorgasm]

The secret is to raise your tolerance.

Start by drinking 2 cups of cream, and increase the amount by 1 cup each day.

Soon your stomach will be invincible.

 

[nonoob]

Yes, anything with dairy. Even sneaky thinks like chocolate, etc...

Chocolate, DRAG ! There goes a primo decadent dessert choice!

 

[Osculater]

As soon as I hit 30, drinking any milk products bloats me, causes instant runs and nausea, break out of hives and irritability. Like when Dr. Jekyll drank a potion and turned into Mr. Hide. I will never get laid again. Just stop drinking milk you say? EVERYTHING has milk.

So on a date am I now supposed to pop a couple lactose pills before a meal. She'll be like bro...what are you taking. Oh...just lactose pills because I'm an old man. If not I will fart on our date all night and vomit on you. Anyone else have this horrific lactose intolerance side line you?

Buy a new small intestine

 

[nonoob]

It's not that hard, man.

Per Michael Scott, "That's what she said".

​

 

[Osculater]

The secret is to raise your tolerance.

Start by drinking 2 cups of cream, and increase the amount by 1 cup each day.

Soon your stomach will be invincible.

You beed to start with non-fat milk to shock the system first and then move on to higher fat milk content

 

[GSP_37]

Tell her it's white viagra.

Somehow I can have froyo without any issues. No idea if the yogurt bacteria already neutrified the lactose.

Can't even find Kirkland lactase tablets at Costco anymore.

 

[elreece]

Yes, anything with dairy. Even sneaky thinks like chocolate, etc...

Bro chocolate isnt exactly sneaky, there is a variety called MILK chocolate.