Jail Debut, Tips?

[CZMuayThai11]

Long story short, I'm getting 10 days in jail for drunkenly & post-brain op amnesically headbutting stitches into the first illegal immigrant then RNCing the second illegal unconscious last fall in a plea to Misdemeanor Battery x 2.

I'll avoid a subsequent Disorderly Conduct for having to pin and headbutt/bite thumb to the bone a patron who was hitting the Aryan Nation felon co-bouncer who was hitting his friend, at the expense of my badly needed job itself.

(The ex-Nazi other bouncer (who'd quit afterwards) and the 2 patrons were the others charged with Disorderly Conduct, no clue what they've done about it)

Tips?

UPDATE: Judge & prosecutor just dropped everything but 2 yrs supervised/no bars or booze probation + 16 hrs community svc today after he and prosecutor read my latest neurologist's letter. Merry Friday everybody! Thank you for your humor and wisdom!

 

[HARRISON_3]

Lolwut

 

[jeff7b9]

In the future control your behavior and don't assault people.

Don't drink so much that you wind up in jail.

Good luck. 10 days ain't that bad.
Be respectful and a generally decent human and you will avoid a decent amount of issues.

 

[Big Nasty Edison]

Hide a shank in your ass.

 

[Law Talkin’ Guy]

 

[cowboyjunkie]

You’ll fit right in by the sounds of it.

 

[IDGETKTFO]

Don't drop the soap.

 

[666]

Do lots of squats, sit ups and push ups and get jacked.

 

[Protectandserve]

Fight the deputies, establish dominance…

 

[boingyman]

Don't drop the soap.

Unless you want to.

 

[shunyata]

Fight the deputies, establish dominance…

Public defenders hate this lifehack!

Turn a 10 day bid into 5-10+ years with 1 simple trick!

 

[Contempt]

Don't drop the soap.

Came in to say this... wasn't disappointed.

 

[Kowboy On Sherdog]

15 Box and you should be good

 

[Pliny Pete]

Do lots more complaining about illegal immigrants

 

[Spounman]

Hide a shank in your ass.

*Prison wallet

 

[Contempt]

Hide a shank in your ass.

To stretch out his butthole to prepare for what is coming?

 

[Elvis.]

Drink less , not trying to be a jerk but you should take that away from this . So being as real and honest about the situation as possible, I would be scared, I think that’s normal , I’m not making eye contact with anyone I don’t have to , I would be as alert and deliberate as possible, not trying to accidentally offend or insult anyone , I would stay away from everyone as much as I could and keep a straight emotionless face so as not to draw any unwanted attention to myself, I’m sorry man , but that’s as honest as I can be

 

[nonoob]

Don't make waves, 10 days is a cakewalk.
​

Alcohol is the catalyst for So Much More than anyone EVER expects.

 

[Fedorgasm]

This is not well-known outside of prison, so don't spread it around too much... but the best way to avoid getting raped in prison is

Spoiler

just consent to every sexual encounter

 

[ralphc1]

Long story short, getting 10 days jail for drunk & post-brain op amnesically headbutting stitches into the first illegal immigrant then RNCing the second illegal unconscious last fall in a plea to Misdemeanor Battery x 2 to avoid Disorderly Conduct for having to pin and headbutt/bite thumb to bone patron hitting Aryan Nation felon co-bouncer for hitting his friend, at the expense of my badly needed job itself. Tips?

You're doing 10 days in a county jail, watching television.