But Carl Diggler is especially satisfying because pundits ostensibly trade in credibility, which is tied to making these concrete, measurable predictions, and Carl is just objectively beating all of them at it. In Iowa, he predicted Clinton over Bernie because (from
his column the day before the primary):
Sure, the Bernie Bros make effective attack dogs, but my gut tells me that when it’s time to vote, these basement-dwelling slobs won’t be able to get their moms to drive them to the caucus. These Millennial misogynists have probably squandered their car privileges on too many trips to Best Buy to stock up on Mountain Dew Code Reds and gaming headsets they use to scream slurs at women of color on Xbox. Furthermore, Hillary’s cadre of web-savvy Gen Xers (the much-bandied “Hillary Men”) have been destroying Sanders supporters with logic in full view of everyone thanks to Twitter’s .@ reply function. This is the first election that will mostly be determined by online interactions, and Hillary’s veritable professional militia-style online wing has ruthlessly massacred these terrorists.
Hillary did beat Bernie in Iowa. Probably just because Iowa democrats turned out to be a little too conservative to take a chance on Bernie, but indulging the insane BernieBro narrative, it turns out, is no less reliable than the most data-driven, PhD-analyzed political sabermetrics that money can buy.