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- Jul 9, 2014
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I was hanging out with one of my few remaining friends, a girl at that. (Gay.)
I asked her “are you hungry?” out of politeness, I was stuffed from eating 3 large tacos and an extra-large quesadilla with fajita.
She said “yeah,” so I asked her “what do you want to eat?”
(As a true blue sherdogger I can afford to ‘spark up’ ((stoner idiom)) whatever meal is desired, as well as the muscle mass and body frame to accommodate the caloric surplus despite a full stomach.)
My friend said “pizza” (knows not to play them games.)
I ask “what kind?”
She’s silent.
I jokingly say: “Pineapple and anchovies?”
She’s like, I don’t like anchovies.
I’m like, do you know what anchovies are?
She’s like, yeah, those black round things.
I’m like, no, those are “aceitunas”
She’s like, “aceitunas are green.”
I’m like, those are cocktail aceitunas, the pizza ones are black aceitunas.
So she admits not knowing what anchovies are.
I’m like, “they’re little salty fish.”
“Like sardines?”
“Kind of, but they’re bigger. And very salty.
My hero and a big influence on my life, Joe Rogan, says the combination is one of his favorite pizza topping schemes. He says the contrast between the saltiest possible topping and the sweetest possible topping ‘make it work.’
I showed her some pictures of anchovies, hoping to gross her out for my amusement, but her reaction was mild and ambiguous.
So I drive over to the pizzeria thinking we’re gonna order a pepperoni pizza with an extra topping or two (and I’ll bring home the leftovers) when again I ask her: “what kind of pizza?
Pepperoni and jalapeño?”
She says: “anchovies”
I’m like are you serious?
She’s like, yeah, pineapple and anchovies.
Long story short we ordered the damn thing and anchovies are salty as fuck and they will burn your tongue. My tongue still feels scalded 3 days later, this was on Friday.
I would not recommend anchovies, unless you have a sodium deficiency and a tongue of steel.
Maybe other anchovies are less salty. These were not.
The topping distribution could have been optimized, I thought at first, but even then the salt is too concentrated.
These anchovies would be better used as bath salts than a pizza topping.
I asked her “are you hungry?” out of politeness, I was stuffed from eating 3 large tacos and an extra-large quesadilla with fajita.
She said “yeah,” so I asked her “what do you want to eat?”
(As a true blue sherdogger I can afford to ‘spark up’ ((stoner idiom)) whatever meal is desired, as well as the muscle mass and body frame to accommodate the caloric surplus despite a full stomach.)
My friend said “pizza” (knows not to play them games.)
I ask “what kind?”
She’s silent.
I jokingly say: “Pineapple and anchovies?”
She’s like, I don’t like anchovies.
I’m like, do you know what anchovies are?
She’s like, yeah, those black round things.
I’m like, no, those are “aceitunas”
She’s like, “aceitunas are green.”
I’m like, those are cocktail aceitunas, the pizza ones are black aceitunas.
So she admits not knowing what anchovies are.
I’m like, “they’re little salty fish.”
“Like sardines?”
“Kind of, but they’re bigger. And very salty.
My hero and a big influence on my life, Joe Rogan, says the combination is one of his favorite pizza topping schemes. He says the contrast between the saltiest possible topping and the sweetest possible topping ‘make it work.’
I showed her some pictures of anchovies, hoping to gross her out for my amusement, but her reaction was mild and ambiguous.
So I drive over to the pizzeria thinking we’re gonna order a pepperoni pizza with an extra topping or two (and I’ll bring home the leftovers) when again I ask her: “what kind of pizza?
Pepperoni and jalapeño?”
She says: “anchovies”
I’m like are you serious?
She’s like, yeah, pineapple and anchovies.
Long story short we ordered the damn thing and anchovies are salty as fuck and they will burn your tongue. My tongue still feels scalded 3 days later, this was on Friday.
I would not recommend anchovies, unless you have a sodium deficiency and a tongue of steel.
Maybe other anchovies are less salty. These were not.
The topping distribution could have been optimized, I thought at first, but even then the salt is too concentrated.
These anchovies would be better used as bath salts than a pizza topping.
