I think my Special Needs co-worker is using my mayonnaise

[Tuf_guy]

Yes, special needs. No I don't feel sorry for him, despite us working with people with more advanced special needs, because:

• He got hired after washing the boss's windows of her house, and she decided to pull strings for him when somene here gave notice
• He has almost no real experience other than getting the degree to work here
• He proceeded to regularly question what we do here despite knowing fuckall about the job
• He can't pick up basic instructions and requires repitition and then still often doesn't get it (apparently also has a learning disability or two based on his disclosure to a co-worker - this could garner some sympathy if he didn't act like a douche and pushy weirdo)
• He tries to have heart-to-heart talks with each of us when others aren't around -searching for reassurance about his abilities after actng like a knowitall in his first couple months here
• Blames co-workers (in one of his one-on-one heart to hearts) to a co-worker for his not fitting in
• smacks his fuckin lips before almost every statement

Okay, so yesterday, I look in the fridge to make my lunch, and I notice that my mayo is on the second shelf from the bottom. I always leave it on the bottom shelf of the door, so I take note and wonder if it fell out. I make sure that there's room and it's securely placed there. Then today, that shit is back on the second shelf again, and it seems lighter, and looks like somebody scooped some out.

Now I'm not a mayo lover, but I prefer it over a dry sandwich,
I ask my coworkers (and boss) about why the jar keeps getting moved a few mins ago. He is out of the office currently. My supervisor says she wants to move the jar to fuck with me now. His buddy says dude might be eating it.

Everybody thinks it's a joke, but as I've laid out in bullet point format above, this dude is a complete fuckin derper, and I already don't like him (only he boss and his buddy do)

He should be back in less than an hour...
What say you bredren?

 

[shanegotu11]

He has special needs bro. Just remind him that its yours and yours only.

 

[shanegotu11]

And he prob beat ur ass.

 

[Jack Reacheround]

And he prob beat ur ass.

Retard strengf

 

[Osculater]

Tell him it is vegan mayo and it is only for vegans or if he eats it again his dick will fall off.

 

[DIABOLUS]

I would buy another jar of mayonnaise and sabotage it with another white substance.

Google image search "4chan jar" for inspiration.

 

[Tuf_guy]

He has special needs bro. Just remind him that its yours and yours only.

yeah, he also has a Masters degree though. And we already had a moment when he gave the clients my bottled water instead of filling a pitcher.

And he prob beat ur ass.

Nah. I've got anger and crazy strength on my side. I'd win as long as I don't let him grab me

 

[shanegotu11]

yeah, he also has a Masters degree though. And we already had a moment when he gave the clients my bottled water instead of filling a pitcher.


Nah. I've got anger and crazy strength on my side. I'd win as long as I don't let him grab me

Lol

 

[Tuf_guy]

I would buy another jar of mayonnaise and sabotage it with another white substance.

Google image search "4chan jar" for inspiration.

he might like that. spoiler on the poll: he already ghey.

 

[John Wang]

Mayo is fucking gross

 

[PG29 red0 Jr]

Why not just put a fridge in your office?

 

[Augustus Caesar]

It's only mayo and he is handicapped. Let him use it ya greedy fook.

 

[Horse Style]

He's doing you a favor. Only retards eat mayonnaise, you dirty animal.

I would buy another jar of mayonnaise and sabotage it with another white substance.

Google image search "4chan jar" for inspiration.

I was wondering why "jizz in it" wasn't a poll option. Isn't that the first option that comes to everyone's mind?

 

[Horse Style]

It's only mayo and he is handicapped. Let him use it ya greedy fook.

Hey, what happened to your thread about your adventures in Japan, molesting Japanese women enjoying the sights and attractions?

 

[Protectandserve]

Maybe buy him some mayo label it and not attempt to bully a dude with special needs.

 

[Horse Style]

Maybe buy him some mayo label it and not attempt to bully a dude with special needs.

Jeez, who sucked all the fun out of your life?

 

[Augustus Caesar]

Hey, what happened to your thread about your adventures in Japan, molesting Japanese women enjoying the sights and attractions?

I will post some pictures soon. I promise. The thread got derailed so I deleted it.

 

[HOV]

Let him use it bro...for your own safety

 

[TheTimeIsNotNow]

I hate retards

 

[Lights Out 101]

This thread is bringing the lols. What the hell kind of job do you have where special needs people get hired from washing the boss's windows but still has a masters degree?