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Relationships I almost became a True Crime Victim this last weekend

Damn brother.. that was an entertaining read.

Can't imagine the feeling of you being in your truck when she pulled out.

Luckily your daughters seem to be pretty aware of everything and they have a great relationship with you.
 
My step daughter and her dog moved in last night…

I told her to just bring enough clothes to stay for a couple weeks.

But she moved everything and didn’t tell my X

Sigh… Got those angry texts when my X came home and found her daughters room empty

The twins are excited their sister is here. The house is in chaos now…

Three girls and fours dogs running around now

Meeting with the X this weekend to finalize the agreement on the house. She needs a ton money fast for lawyers

I’ve offered to take out a home equity loan in exchange to removing child support

The child support should be gone anyway since the girls have been living with me for the last 18 months anyway
 
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UPDATE -

Just closed on refinancing the house to take out money to buy my X out.
She agreed and signed the paperwork on the terms of the buyout. She'll get her money this week.... And weirdly, after a high last week when the closing was finished, I'm in a very melancholy mood about the whole thing.

All three girls still live with me full time. They'll visit their mom for lunch or dinner, but won't stay the night with her.

The Child Support process is next, hoping that takes less than a couple months. Will be nice not to have to pay $1,800/mon on top of taking care of 3 daughters while maintaining a house. I've asked my lawyer to have the mediator suggest eliminating child support entirely and my X has initially agreed to this. There's still a chance she'll reject... I've already paid a ton of money in legal fees and I swear if she pushed back on the child support thing, I'll go all the way and make her pay instead.

My X is desperate to try to put the whole thing in the past, hoping none of us will remember what happened... It is weird how the memory of it slowly fades after a couple months. Seems like a dream now. So I think she'll agree to the no child support situation. Don't think she wants the kids dragged into court to recount her massive issues of driving drunk with them in the car, her two dui's and wrecks and the final episode of her showing up drunk armed at my house.

Keeping my fingers crossed

My twin daughters have been more open to seeing their mom... But my step-daughter (who moved in with me), still wants nothing to do with her.

I had a moment last week when she called me Dad for the first time in 20 years I've known her... I've never asked her or requested she call me that. It was a great moment for me.

I did have a crazy pool party at my house to celebrate... Someone jump off the roof into the pool. lol... Been years since that's happened.

I definitely overdid it and it was nice to be able to crawl up my stairs to my bed to pass out instead of having to get myself home first.

My X is still drinking... though not was much. I thought she might cut it out completely... But I guess she hasn't hit her rock bottom.

We both stopped by daughter's work on their grand opening (Pizza Place - VIA313 - Pretty good actually). And sure enough my X ordered a drink while I had an iced tea.

The lack of self awareness is amazing...
 
It’s fucking crazy…

I’m 50/50 on whether if she would have followed through

Alcoholism is worse than most drug addictions


I been sayin alcohol is worse for years. My observation is most drug addicts are semi normal as long as they don't need a dose but alcoholics ...well you never know what they might do.

Glad you didn't get murder suicided. Keep that head on a swivel for a while and investigate any sounds you hear that you shouldn't.
 
VERY LONG... SORRY

Background

  • Divorced 4 years now. We got married in 2006, divorced in Spring of 2020. Yes a Covid Divorce statistic. She was a bad alcoholic and didn't take care of herself. She wasn't when we met, but it had evolved and got worse and worse and worse.
  • I got my fatass back into shape and things started spiraling between us. She would berate me and call me selfish for losing weight and working out regularly at the gym. I had also put up with a little bit of drama from her constantly, never rocking the boat too much to maintain peace. But in the last few years it started escalating and I pulled away.
  • Now... Right at the end, I'm embarrassed to admit I did cheat on her. I should have taken the responsible way out and just left her. But we had 3 kids still at home, twins (12 at the time) and 16 year old stepdaughter... All girls. I dreaded the thought having to start over in an apartment and only seeing my girls on weekends or whatever. I took the easy way out... Cheated until I got caught...
The Day Everything Changed

  • She confronted me about the cheating and I'm sure she was surprised that I just admitted it. I just went upstairs and packed enough clothes for a few days and left. I was actually elated... I was free. I went to a friends and crashed in a spare bedroom. But I was free
  • I spent a month collecting used furniture and looking for a 2 bedroom apartment near the house. The girls weren't talking to me yet. They were understandably pissed off at me. When I moved in.... I spent a week getting everything perfect before I had them come over. Their room, the living room, the dining area, my room...etc. I wanted them to feel comfortable and welcome. Not have a place with a lawn chair and a TV sitting on a milk crate.
When they first came over, they were pleasantly surprised. I felt like the healing between me and them really started happening then. We had a fantastic weekend just hanging around. I always loved cooking and we played video games. I just sat on the couch and watched them play... enjoying hearing the sounds of chaos and talking and laughing after weeks of me and silence. It made me so happy to hear they weren't ready to go home that Sunday evening.

The Evolution

  • Meanwhile, my X wasn't doing great. Her drinking had escalated and I had heard from mutual friends that she was devastated. But I also heard conflicting statements about how she had been talking shit about me for years and that she had been debating leaving me. I guess it had rubbed mutual friends the wrong way and they're weren't surprised our marriage had exploded. They also knew I had been dealing with her drinking for years... and her constant negative statements.
  • Things with me and the girls were doing great! After a few weeks, the girls asked if they could stay over Sunday and have me take them to school Monday morning. My X agreed... Then they started staying over Thursdays and then Wednesdays. After a couple of months, we were on a 50/50 schedule, despite the Divorce agreement.
  • All this time, I'd get the drunk texts from the X. My sister gave me great advice about how to deal with this. Don't. If it's something pertaining to the kids, keep it short... one or two words answers. But when she starts veering off into other topics. No response.
"I've always Loved you..."

"You destroyed our family and don't care"

"Fuck you! You didn't' even try to repair our marriage. How could you just walk away"

"We were supposed to grow old together"

On and on it goes. Sometimes nothing for weeks or months. Sometimes nightly. My response was always the same.... No Response.

Turning Point

In Spring 2023, almost three years after our divorce she asked to meet her for lunch. I was a little worried... why couldn't we discuss whatever this was over the phone.

It was actually great news. She wanted to give up the house and asked if I wanted it. I knew it was too much for her. We would need to work out a deal, but I was going home. Furthermore, the girls would be living with me mostly full time. I didn't even care that I would be still paying full child support.

The X was going to move in with her mom. Her mom was very sick with stage 4 skin cancer. They had a mother in law house where her mom would live and my X was moving into the main house with my step daughter (we still had a great relationship). The girls were going to visit her every other weekend. Her mother was going to gift her the house when she passed away.

It was surreal. All the years... the taking the high road and the effort to stay cordial and even friendly seemed to have paid off.

The girls already told me they preferred to the live with me. And at 16, they have that choice if it comes to that. They loved my apartment and actually threw a goodbye party for leaving after being there for three years.

One of my daughters actually didn't want me to move back in... I guess the vibe in the house had been very bad for awhile. I reassured her that we could create our own vibe.

The Decline - One Year Later

After talking to my X's Mom and my step-daughter (who moved with her), my X's drinking was getting worse. She lost her job and was out of work for several months. Fortunately, she was recently able to find another job.

She had got a DUI two weeks earlier. Her first ticket in a long time... She had been drinking and driving for a long time now. The girls refused to ride with her. Fortunately, I had bought the girls a car in February so they didn't to rely on her for transportation.

But time finally caught up to the X and she got pulled over wasted....

Over the years, her family and friends have pulled away due to her drinking. She was mess. One by one... Bridges burned. It's been so sad to see... Someone who was the love of my life in 2006. Now an unhealthy alcoholic who mixes in sleeping and anti-anxiety pills.

One my end, I had procrastinated on negotiating deal for the house. I decided I needed to get this down sooner rather than later. So I sent her kind of a low offer, thinking that was a good place to start.

She took huge offense to it. I told her I'd send another offer on Monday. But I could tell she's been drinking. Here came the texts.

"I would rather see the house burn to the ground than for you to try to give me bullshit. Considering what you took from my life. You ruined our family and the kid's life. Fuck You"

"I loved you so much"

"I still love you"

As per my SOP, I didn't reply.

The Meltdown - Later that Night

It was my X's weekend, so I made the girls go over to her place even though they didn't want to. It was their grandma's birthday, so they all went to dinner with her.

However, the X and her mother got into argument because she was drinking. So grandma took all three girls to dinner without the X.

It was my first Kid free weekend in several weeks... But I decided to stay home. I was exhausted from work and the gym. I was starting to fade around 9pm when the X's mom called me

The X had sent disturbing texts to the guy she was seeing, like crazy... he was out of town so he called my step-daughter and asked her to check on my X. My Step-daughter checked Life360 and it looked like she was heading towards my house.

She was freaking out and told me to get dressed and try to intercept my X since she was drinking. A thought crossed my mind and I asked

"Does she have her gun?"

They ran to her room and her gun was gone from the nightstand.

I asked where she was and they said she was about 5 minutes away. By this time, they had called the police and were relaying instructions to them where she was and that they thought she was suicidal... or worse.

I jumped into my truck and parked three houses away... and turned off the lights. I was starting to freak a little, experiencing a massive adrenaline surge.

I watched her as she passed me and pulled into the driveway. She walked to the front door and tried to open it. It was locked and after a moment she went back to the car and drove off.

I started cautiously following her... trying not to alert her. Then she texted.

"Where are you"

I replied

"I went out to get some food. Heading home shortly. Why?"

She didn't respond...

She turned around and started heading back. I followed and watched her pull into the neighbor's driveway across the street. I pulled over with my lights off... I couldn't believe this was happening... it was so surreal.

One of my twin daughters came back into the room. My X had wrote on the mirrors in her bathroom

"I'm So Sorry... XOXO. I will love you always, Mom" <--- I have the pictures if anyone is interested... fucking nuts

This shit was real and happening in front of me. All three girls were hysterical at this point and I could hear them crying over the phone. They all knew what it meant.

My Step-Daughter said the police were almost there and then I saw four cruisers pull up and surround her. It suddenly occurred to me that I could be witnessing the complete destruction of my X's life and that nothing was ever going to be the same again.

She wouldn't get out of her vehicle initially, but after a few minutes she finally gave up.

I was still in my truck, watching all of this go down. Not daring to move...

After the cruisers started to leave, I finally got the nerve to move and headed towards my daughters. I wasn't ready to go back into the house. Knowing that I potentially avoided a massive tragedy of some kind.

When I arrived, the police called back and said she had been arrested for DUI and they confiscated her firearm.

She was going to see a judge within 48 hours and then she could be bailed out after that.

After that... her cousin went to get her and to try to convince her to seek help and treatment. She refused...

She did admit that she was planning to either shoot herself in front of me or in the house for me to find. She was also considering shooting me first, then herself.

Unbelievably, she wanted to see the girls... It's like she wants everyone to forget what happened.

I'm talking to a lawyer right now. I told the girls we may need to move out because she's likely to yank the house from me out of spite.

Don't care... And apparently my girls don't either. In amazing fashion, one of my daughter's got excited and started looking for apartments. God bless them...

Right now... I don't have a great update. But I can update later as things progress. If anyone is interested.

I still have visions of my opening the door to her pointing a gun in my face. I mean... yeah, if she had killed me that would have been terrible for me... lol. But it wouldn't matter to me anymore.

How could she have done that to her daughters? My mother? My brother and sister? The people left behind who would suffer. It kills me to think it was a complete fluke that we caught this in progress... just in time.

That I could have been the victim in a True Crime story...


UPDATE - 2 months later
Just start sucking dicks at your nearest gloryhole. TRUST ME, it's so much less complicated.
 
Close call. My Dad was a true crime victim. He grew up boxing and was a golden gloves champ back in the day. Well, in his late teens he got mixed up with some organized crime people and ended up being their money collector/leg breaker. He literally had a 300 page file with the police department for assaults/disorderly conduct..ect. He was charged with murder twice, but it didn't stick and until his death still denied killing anyone.

He got put up for a job to rob this jewelry store and he and his crew stole $1m worth of stuff(back in the 80's). One of the guys ratted everyone out. He went to prison for 10 years. Now, I didn't know him growing up as he was bad news. My grandpa didn't want my Mom around him so he moved the family 3hrs away without telling anyone where we went. But he was in and out of jail and prison the whole time anyway, so probably wouldn't have know him.

So about the time he got out of prison I also got curious and went looking for him. I was 20, wanted to meet the guy. Now, my grandmother on my Dad's side had never seen me before so when a young guy showed up at her door that looked just like her son she was quite shocked. She just told me she would pass my number on, it was probably really shocking to her. Long story short I met him and got to know him for the next two years. He stayed on the straight and narrow, got a regular job and seemed to be doing well.

My Dad was over visiting my Grandmother and my younger cousins on the side one day. The kids were 8 and 10. My Dad was playing football with them in the backyard when two guys rolled up in the alley. He went to go talk to them, he knew who they were and didn't seem too concerned as he didn't tell the kids to go inside or anything. Next thing happens is one of the guys went for his pocket and my dad blasts him in the face and turns and blasts the other guy too but the first guy that went down got the gun out and shot him right dead center in the chest.

He stumbled back toward the house and collapsed right in front of the kids. Grandma saw it happen out the back window and one of my uncles was home and he came out fast . The two guys hopped in the car and took off. The last thing he said was telling the two kids "Don't worry, Uncle Tommy will be just fine".

They ended up catching the guys and the reason the guy went for the gun is he feared my dad because he owed him $25 and new his history. Now I highly doubt my Dad would have killed anyone over $25 but apparently that's what the issue was. Bad luck for the guy that did the shooting, he went to the prison my Dad was in for 10 years. One of his cell mates ended up shiving the guy to death.
 
Close call. My Dad was a true crime victim. He grew up boxing and was a golden gloves champ back in the day. Well, in his late teens he got mixed up with some organized crime people and ended up being their money collector/leg breaker. He literally had a 300 page file with the police department for assaults/disorderly conduct..ect. He was charged with murder twice, but it didn't stick and until his death still denied killing anyone.

He got put up for a job to rob this jewelry store and he and his crew stole $1m worth of stuff(back in the 80's). One of the guys ratted everyone out. He went to prison for 10 years. Now, I didn't know him growing up as he was bad news. My grandpa didn't want my Mom around him so he moved the family 3hrs away without telling anyone where we went. But he was in and out of jail and prison the whole time anyway, so probably wouldn't have know him.

So about the time he got out of prison I also got curious and went looking for him. I was 20, wanted to meet the guy. Now, my grandmother on my Dad's side had never seen me before so when a young guy showed up at her door that looked just like her son she was quite shocked. She just told me she would pass my number on, it was probably really shocking to her. Long story short I met him and got to know him for the next two years. He stayed on the straight and narrow, got a regular job and seemed to be doing well.

My Dad was over visiting my Grandmother and my younger cousins on the side one day. The kids were 8 and 10. My Dad was playing football with them in the backyard when two guys rolled up in the alley. He went to go talk to them, he knew who they were and didn't seem too concerned as he didn't tell the kids to go inside or anything. Next thing happens is one of the guys went for his pocket and my dad blasts him in the face and turns and blasts the other guy too but the first guy that went down got the gun out and shot him right dead center in the chest.

He stumbled back toward the house and collapsed right in front of the kids. Grandma saw it happen out the back window and one of my uncles was home and he came out fast . The two guys hopped in the car and took off. The last thing he said was telling the two kids "Don't worry, Uncle Tommy will be just fine".

They ended up catching the guys and the reason the guy went for the gun is he feared my dad because he owed him $25 and new his history. Now I highly doubt my Dad would have killed anyone over $25 but apparently that's what the issue was. Bad luck for the guy that did the shooting, he went to the prison my Dad was in for 10 years. One of his cell mates ended up shiving the guy to death.

Well shit dude... You got me topped

Though, I do think how close my kids came from having two parents to zero in one night.
 
I been sayin alcohol is worse for years. My observation is most drug addicts are semi normal as long as they don't need a dose but alcoholics ...well you never know what they might do.

Glad you didn't get murder suicided. Keep that head on a swivel for a while and investigate any sounds you hear that you shouldn't.

I should contact the makers of the Life360 App and tell them it possibly saved my life.

If it weren't for that app, I would have answered the door that Friday night... wondering who the fuck was dropping by 9pm unannounced.

After that?

Maybe it would have been like the Tony Soprano's finale, where I open the door... then nothing

anigif_enhanced-12859-1429096419-2.gif
 
Well shit dude... You got me topped

Though, I do think how close my kids came from having two parents to zero in one night.
IDK, I wouldn't say that. You were just an average Joe and damn near got killed. My Dad was a life long criminal, almost nobody was surprised this is how he went. My Dad was no sort of parent, nobody was left orphaned when he died.
 
IDK, I wouldn't say that. You were just an average Joe and damn near got killed. My Dad was a life long criminal, almost nobody was surprised this is how he went. My Dad was no sort of parent, nobody was left orphaned when he died.

So sorry... hate when I hear when someone's dad was around. My parents were divorced when I was 3, but he was still a big part of my life. I miss him bad...
 
Jesus fucking Christ. That's an insane story. Glad you're ok.

OP you should consider getting some counseling for yourself and your kids.

I know us men often think we don't need it and it gets stigmatized, but that's completely outdated and untrue. It can only help and pretty sure the kids will have (some) kind of residual effect that will be negative for them in the future. Maybe consider it for them to nip bad effects in the bud before they enter full adulthood.
 
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Jesus fucking Christ. That's an insane story. Glad you're ok.

OP you should consider getting some counseling for yourself and your kids.

I know us men often think we don't need it and it gets stigmatized, but that's completely outdated and untrue. It can only help and pretty sure the kids will have (some) kind of residual effect that will be negative for them in the future. Maybe consider it for them to nip bad effects in the bud before they enter full adulthood.

What's crazy is that I almost felt nothing about the whole thing after the adrenalin subsided. It's like it happened in a book or a movie.

My girls are definitely seeing a therapist. That was the worst part, hearing them crying and getting upset over the phone.

But the fact I'm don't feel anything about it, probably does mean I should talk to someone... lol
 
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