Relationship How to help someone out of an abusive marriage?

[Tuvatuva]

Western media out here giving older women false hope and so even if they run in to simp providers they will find an ick which is the new buzz term:
View attachment 1010451

Lol the "ick" and that description. Women don't even know what they feel or why they feel it, they just know that they feel it. They get the ick for a plethora of things and it probably changes on any given day. You can never make a woman happy because women don't know what they want because they actually want fucking everything. They want an asshole who excites them, they want a stable guy who will provide for them, they want a guy to take charge, they want a guy to be emotionally vulnerable, they want a career, they want to be a mom, they want to travel, they want to be taken care of, they want attention from simps, etc. at any given day. You can be a near perfect man who ticks off 90% of the boxes for her but she'll feel like she settled and resent you for the 10% you don't satisfy.

My #1 trait in a woman is self-awareness and more and more I realize I'm looking for a unicorn if I look for a self-aware woman.

 

[Dusty Rhodes]

Why do you hang out with such filthy scum, is what everyone should be asking here.

 

[Phlog]

You can let them know that you would help if they wanted out, what that help would look like and what outside help there is available.

But honestly people need to want to change, you can't force it on them. It's tragic.

 

[Phlog]

Ermmm maybe it's not as clear cut as you think, there's not always one clear case of black and white and you really need to step back and explore it from a distance and definitely not from the lens of some sort of white knight.......

A very large degree of accountability needs to be taken into account.... Adults are involved.....

I've been really enjoying your posts post Ayahuasca.

 

[Dogshare]

No. Marriage & monogamy is unnatural (coming from a married man trying to be objective). Today it's a ridiculously high divorce rate, due to the enabling by institutional structures.

So what is natural? A woman sleeping with more men and not knowing who the father of the child is?

 

[Alphaboy]

So what is natural? A woman sleeping with more men and not knowing who the father of the child is?

You're being sarcastic in your response, but if anything that is closer to the truth.

The fact that our "nature" is problematic is the reason a man-made institution like marriage had to be created... to prevent (or at least try to prevent) the aforementioned scenario. The same reason we have consent laws, because biological and societal adulthood are misaligned.

 

[Alphaboy]

I don't think I've ever really agreed with the argument that marriage/monogamy is unnatural. Seems the opposite to be true. We need people as we get older---who is going to take care of you more than your spouse or child?
Our biology may tell us one thing at certain points, but there's plenty of times throughout the day where we don't simply listen to our biology, and it's largely been to the benefit of ourselves, and our species. (in terms of sexual urges)

It's women that largely initiate the divorces anyways. (and they're the ones that benefit from and need the marriage more) Men are generally fine settling down with one woman that doesn't get on his nerves as we get older. I look at these young skeezers today, and I want no part in these monkey pox and throat goat parties.

Historically and biologically speaking, most males didn't sire offspring in the first place... and that isn't limited to humans. Social animals (including us) tend to assemble into harems. Marriage is a great way of reducing false or unknown paternity, aggregating resources and focusing care to offspring, and passing down wealth to legitimate heir. So in spite of its low success rate, it is a great thing (especially when it works).

Men are generally fine settling down with one woman that doesn't get on his nerves as we get older.

Settling down? Yes. Remaining sexually exclusive? Not so much. As income increases, men are more likely to cheat as more options tend to open up.

It's women that largely initiate the divorces anyways. (and they're the ones that benefit from and need the marriage more)

They're more sexually selective but naturally hypergamous. Divorce is highly incentivized for women by the state. It's fool's gold though, but a seemingly tempting option nonetheless.

Neither sex is really biologically programmed for this. Truth be told only birds really are. That isn't to say there are not people who are happy with what they have and have no intention of ever splitting or stepping out, but the stats look bleak.

 

[Dogshare]

You're being sarcastic in your response, but if anything that is closer to the truth.

The fact that our "nature" is problematic is the reason a man-made institution like marriage had to be created... to prevent (or at least try to prevent) the aforementioned scenario. The same reason we have consent laws, because biological and societal adulthood are misaligned.

A women sleeping with more men is completely unnatural and no same men would accept to take care of the child. It would result in total chaos. If you mean humans need rules like marriage, otherwise they tend to be more like animals then I agree. But for humans it is natural to think about what is good and bad.

 

[Alphaboy]

I'm wondering if we are having a misunderstanding because you disagreed but then stated my point right here:

If you mean humans need rules like marriage, otherwise they tend to be more like animals then I agree.

The reason we need marriage - laws in general to be honest is because our default state is bad... just like you said, it would be chaotic.

I realize I'm getting off topic so I don't want to derail buddy's thread - though he seemed to have abandoned it.

 

[William Huggins]

I've been really enjoying your posts post Ayahuasca.

Thanks that means a lot, your probably the only one that noticed a difference.....

 

[Phlog]

Thanks that means a lot, your probably the only one that noticed a difference.....

Everyone's got a lot on their plates I expect!

 

[William Huggins]

Everyone's got a lot on their plates I expect!

Yeap, some put it on their plate themselves............

How things?

 

[SmilinDesperado]

Historically and biologically speaking, most males didn't sire offspring in the first place... and that isn't limited to humans. Social animals (including us) tend to assemble into harems. Marriage is a great way of reducing false or unknown paternity, aggregating resources and focusing care to offspring, and passing down wealth to legitimate heir. So in spite of its low success rate, it is a great thing (especially when it works).



Settling down? Yes. Remaining sexually exclusive? Not so much. As income increases, men are more likely to cheat as more options tend to open up.



They're more sexually selective but naturally hypergamous. Divorce is highly incentivized for women by the state. It's fool's gold though, but a seemingly tempting option nonetheless.

Neither sex is really biologically programmed for this. Truth be told only birds really are. That isn't to say there are not people who are happy with what they have and have no intention of ever splitting or stepping out, but the stats look bleak.

The idea of what is "natural" when it comes to humans isn't exactly the same as it is when we're talking about animals, or our more primitive ancestors. We're way past the point of just basic survival. Do we have natural biological urges to do things, just as animals do? Yes. But we also have more control over those urges, and that control is what has allowed us to get to where we are today as a species.
What's natural for humans evolves because our super power is adaptation and the ability to reason.

Men at any age will always find other women attractive and may want to sleep with other women, but that doesn't mean that we give into those sexual urges, even when we have the opportunity to do so. It's natural for me to have the urge to want to do it, but it is also natural for me to want peace in my home and life---and cheating on my wife isn't going to bring that. It's also natural for me to want the best for my offspring, and cheating on my wife can break up my home.
I listen to some of these Red pill shows, and they talk about biology and what is "natural" a lot, but they only ever do so on very particular points. If men are naturally more logical than women, then it is natural for us to use our logic when assessing if a 22 year old piece of ass is worth fucking up your life and family.

While I think there are incentives for women to divorce, I don't think that really plays that big of a factor in why they do it. I don't think most of them plan or think things through at all. They operate on their feelings and think that things will just work out the way they want them to in the end. I think marriage is natural, but it can't exist by itself. It's part of community, which is also natural for humans. We can see more divorces because there is a bigger focus on individualism than there is on family or the community.

 

[William Huggins]

The idea of what is "natural" when it comes to humans isn't exactly the same as it is when we're talking about animals, or our more primitive ancestors. We're way past the point of just basic survival. Do we have natural biological urges to do things, just as animals do? Yes. But we also have more control over those urges, and that control is what has allowed us to get to where we are today as a species.
What's natural for humans evolves because our super power is adaptation and the ability to reason.

Men at any age will always find other women attractive and may want to sleep with other women, but that doesn't mean that we give into those sexual urges, even when we have the opportunity to do so. It's natural for me to have the urge to want to do it, but it is also natural for me to want peace in my home and life---and cheating on my wife isn't going to bring that. It's also natural for me to want the best for my offspring, and cheating on my wife can break up my home.
I listen to some of these Red pill shows, and they talk about biology and what is "natural" a lot, but they only ever do so on very particular points. If men are naturally more logical than women, then it is natural for us to use our logic when assessing if a 22 year old piece of ass is worth fucking up your life and family.

While I think there are incentives for women to divorce, I don't think that really plays that big of a factor in why they do it. I don't think most of them plan or think things through at all. They operate on their feelings and think that things will just work out the way they want them to in the end. I think marriage is natural, but it can't exist by itself. It's part of community, which is also natural for humans. We can see more divorces because there is a bigger focus on individualism than there is on family or the community.

When people openly support and encourage women to divorce in the west, they'll not suprise you unless they've had strong parental figures in their lives........ They do like to follow the herd, be careful of the herd they follow......

Women are in themselves the weakest and strongest parts of society protect them at all cost.... The next generation comes from them......

The moment was lost when we allowed the infection to spread and they sold it on the back of liberation and freedom what a perfect vehicle.......

 

[Phlog]

Yeap, some put it on their plate themselves............

Nothing is either good or bad but thinking makes it so.

How things?

Pretty good, I live a blessed life. Somewhat concerned about some kidney problems, ultrasound booked for December, but my health otherwise is not bad. Managing to work out etc. Kids doing well at school, Mrs happy.

Physically my body is aging and I feel like I'm going to have to stop doing the things I love quite so much. Left Achilles, knee, hip, shoulder. Combat sports and football adding up over time. I've ignored father time for decades but he's still there. It's all down hill from here!

I've been thinking about my deepest DMT trip a lot as of late. I've been meditating and given up booze etc and thinking about mortality, what kind of person I am manifesting. I feel like I am on the verge of understanding lifes nature, big picture anyway. I think the ego is possibly a problem.

I'm trying to be a good father, husband first, dealing with my small corner of this unified existence.

Likewise man, how are you bearing up to your travails?

 

[William Huggins]

Pretty good, I live a blessed life. Somewhat concerned about some kidney problems, ultrasound booked for December, but my health otherwise is not bad. Managing to work out etc. Kids doing well at school, Mrs happy.

Physically my body is aging and I feel like I'm going to have to stop doing the things I love quite so much. Left Achilles, knee, hip, shoulder. Combat sports and football adding up over time. I've ignored father time for decades but he's still there. It's all down hill from here!

I've been thinking about my deepest DMT trip a lot as of late. I've been meditating and given up booze etc and thinking about mortality, what kind of person I am manifesting. I feel like I am on the verge of understanding lifes nature, big picture anyway. I think the ego is possibly a problem.

I'm trying to be a good father, husband first, dealing with my small corner of this unified existence.

Likewise man, how are you bearing up to your travails?

Father time has been really good to me, fast approaching 48 and I'm in better shape than most people 10 or so years younger than me, with the aid of a few substances, mental stress has taken its toll and the on going break down of my family unit, that's really done most of the damage.......

As soon as my situation has stabilized a bit more I'm going back to Portugal, there's more I need to find out...... Too much ego in my life at the moment and the trips helped me to see this more than ever........ Some people would rather die on their sword to try and prove themselves right and destroy everything around them for their ego........ Not much I can do for them apart from point out the obvious.

 

[Tuvatuva]

Historically and biologically speaking, most males didn't sire offspring in the first place... and that isn't limited to humans. Social animals (including us) tend to assemble into harems. Marriage is a great way of reducing false or unknown paternity, aggregating resources and focusing care to offspring, and passing down wealth to legitimate heir. So in spite of its low success rate, it is a great thing (especially when it works).



Settling down? Yes. Remaining sexually exclusive? Not so much. As income increases, men are more likely to cheat as more options tend to open up.



They're more sexually selective but naturally hypergamous. Divorce is highly incentivized for women by the state. It's fool's gold though, but a seemingly tempting option nonetheless.

Neither sex is really biologically programmed for this. Truth be told only birds really are. That isn't to say there are not people who are happy with what they have and have no intention of ever splitting or stepping out, but the stats look bleak.

Alphaboy got banned?

A women sleeping with more men is completely unnatural and no same men would accept to take care of the child. It would result in total chaos. If you mean humans need rules like marriage, otherwise they tend to be more like animals then I agree. But for humans it is natural to think about what is good and bad.

I remember reading results of a survey done back in like 50s in the UK and a shocking 50% or so of married women said their child wasn't their husbands'. That's in the 50s, when people were much more conservative, people in general had much less sexual options, and there was the stigma of infidelity. Perhaps the number is even higher if you consider some women possibly weren't telling the truth. Now it's probably even worse because it seems being promiscuous is celebrated by women and their access to options is much much greater.

Humans are ultimately animals. None of this has to be "bleak" or have any sort of feeling associated with it. If we made a documentary about human mating, it would be no different than watching a doc about chimps or lions or whatever. We attach feelings to it because we have been conditioned to want a monogamous relationship with the "one," which doesn't exist, and the reality of our nature isn't consistent with this belief. We have to respond to the world as it is, not how we wish it to be.

On a societal level, this isn't conducive to stability. While women may be "content" with being a part of a harem of multiple women for a few alphas, having a population of young, sexually frustrated men is going to be a destabilizing factor for society. How we will deal with this remains to be seen. I feel like there's a ceiling to our progress as a species and we will end up going back full circle to tribal-like social structures or extreme conservatism.

 

[Dogshare]

Alphaboy got banned?


I remember reading results of a survey done back in like 50s in the UK and a shocking 50% or so of married women said their child wasn't their husbands'. That's in the 50s, when people were much more conservative, people in general had much less sexual options, and there was the stigma of infidelity. Perhaps the number is even higher if you consider some women possibly weren't telling the truth. Now it's probably even worse because it seems being promiscuous is celebrated by women and their access to options is much much greater.

Humans are ultimately animals. None of this has to be "bleak" or have any sort of feeling associated with it. If we made a documentary about human mating, it would be no different than watching a doc about chimps or lions or whatever. We attach feelings to it because we have been conditioned to want a monogamous relationship with the "one," which doesn't exist, and the reality of our nature isn't consistent with this belief. We have to respond to the world as it is, not how we wish it to be.

On a societal level, this isn't conducive to stability. While women may be "content" with being a part of a harem of multiple women for a few alphas, having a population of young, sexually frustrated men is going to be a destabilizing factor for society. How we will deal with this remains to be seen. I feel like there's a ceiling to our progress as a species and we will end up going back full circle to tribal-like social structures or extreme conservatism.

You claim humans are animals but at the same time it seems you understand many things, which an animal will never be able too. So at an intelligence level there is a difference and since we can use our intelligence we don't need to be like animals.

You give all the blame to woman, but man also are often weak, which starts with the father. I see girls at a young age walking half naked next to their father. Then when they get a husband he is often weak too. Also the woman has learned to be independent and not listen to her husband. If the husband cannot be the leader it will always be difficult due to the nature of men and women. A woman by nature doesn't want a man that she needs to lead. So many things are there, but you are able to take a step back and are able to talk about this things, and so can other humans, since we have this intelligence and by that you don't need to act like an animal.