How to get people to return to the office

[Fedorgasm]

I keep hearing about CEO's trying to get people to return to the office instead of working from home.

Some are trying to start small, like having people come in 3 days per week.

Others are just forcing people back, telling them to quit if they don't like it.

If I were a CEO I think I'd try bribing them with free electricity and an EV.

So I'd tell the employees that every day you work from the office, you get credit towards the purchase of an electric car. You can save up those credits until you have enough to buy the whole car, or you can just use up what credits you have and pay the rest in cash if you want the car sooner.

But here's the kicker. Once you have your car, you get free charging in the company parking lot.

Now it's actually saving you money to drive to the office every day because you don't have to pay for the electricity to charge your car.

And you might say "fuck that. Electricity is not worth me giving up working from home."

But... The fact that you had to come in to the office for a couple years to earn that car means that now you're used to it again, so it's no big deal.

 

[Krimzon]

i think a free random prize draw for ppl in the office ($100 gift cards etc etc) would do it + free food etc

 

[Long Dark Blues]

Start by going hybrid first.

I work for state-level government. We started hybrid about a year ago, 3 days at home 2 in the office.

My in-office days are Wednesday and Thursday, makes for a super easy schedule.

Shitty part of this is that the state decided to not renew leases on a whole shitload of office buildings during the pandemic. So now we all share cubicles depending on what days we are in the office, so there is no longer any personal items or what have you allowed in the cubicles.

Morale is kinda low because of that.

 

[Get To Da Choppa]

I keep hearing about CEO's trying to get people to return to the office instead of working from home.

Some are trying to start small, like having people come in 3 days per week.

Others are just forcing people back, telling them to quit if they don't like it.

If I were a CEO I think I'd try bribing them with free electricity and an EV.

So I'd tell the employees that every day you work from the office, you get credit towards the purchase of an electric car. You can save up those credits until you have enough to buy the whole car, or you can just use up what credits you have and pay the rest in cash if you want the car sooner.

But here's the kicker. Once you have your car, you get free charging in the company parking lot.

Now it's actually saving you money to drive to the office every day because you don't have to pay for the electricity to charge your car.

And you might say "fuck that. Electricity is not worth me giving up working from home."

But... The fact that you had to come in to the office for a couple years to earn that car means that now you're used to it again, so it's no big deal.

Free lunch and/or pizza parties, and daily safe for work meme emails

 

[Bornstarch]

Tell them you hired hookers at work

 

[Noveltymortar]

I keep hearing about CEO's trying to get people to return to the office instead of working from home.

Some are trying to start small, like having people come in 3 days per week.

Others are just forcing people back, telling them to quit if they don't like it.

If I were a CEO I think I'd try bribing them with free electricity and an EV.

So I'd tell the employees that every day you work from the office, you get credit towards the purchase of an electric car. You can save up those credits until you have enough to buy the whole car, or you can just use up what credits you have and pay the rest in cash if you want the car sooner.

But here's the kicker. Once you have your car, you get free charging in the company parking lot.

Now it's actually saving you money to drive to the office every day because you don't have to pay for the electricity to charge your car.

And you might say "fuck that. Electricity is not worth me giving up working from home."

But... The fact that you had to come in to the office for a couple years to earn that car means that now you're used to it again, so it's no big deal.

I would fire you for asking for a free car just to show up for work.

 

[cincymma79]

Make only fans a requirement for home workers. Everyone must show their butthole being railed once per week

 

[TribalDrumz]

Flexibility . 3 days in office 2 at home.
I’m doing 4 days in office at least 1 at home

 

[DoctorTaco]

Why do you want them in the office?

 

[Sonny Qc]

I keep hearing about CEO's trying to get people to return to the office instead of working from home.

Some are trying to start small, like having people come in 3 days per week.

Others are just forcing people back, telling them to quit if they don't like it.

If I were a CEO I think I'd try bribing them with free electricity and an EV.

So I'd tell the employees that every day you work from the office, you get credit towards the purchase of an electric car. You can save up those credits until you have enough to buy the whole car, or you can just use up what credits you have and pay the rest in cash if you want the car sooner.

But here's the kicker. Once you have your car, you get free charging in the company parking lot.

Now it's actually saving you money to drive to the office every day because you don't have to pay for the electricity to charge your car.

And you might say "fuck that. Electricity is not worth me giving up working from home."

But... The fact that you had to come in to the office for a couple years to earn that car means that now you're used to it again, so it's no big deal.

outsource a good % of their jobs to India, they might get the clue on their future

 

[Fugazy]

I keep hearing about CEO's trying to get people to return to the office instead of working from home.

Some are trying to start small, like having people come in 3 days per week.

Others are just forcing people back, telling them to quit if they don't like it.

If I were a CEO I think I'd try bribing them with free electricity and an EV.

So I'd tell the employees that every day you work from the office, you get credit towards the purchase of an electric car. You can save up those credits until you have enough to buy the whole car, or you can just use up what credits you have and pay the rest in cash if you want the car sooner.

But here's the kicker. Once you have your car, you get free charging in the company parking lot.

Now it's actually saving you money to drive to the office every day because you don't have to pay for the electricity to charge your car.

And you might say "fuck that. Electricity is not worth me giving up working from home."

But... The fact that you had to come in to the office for a couple years to earn that car means that now you're used to it again, so it's no big deal.

This is why you aren't a CEO.

Too much bs.

Hire a lady and have her provide erotic massages.

Much cheaper and much more enticing.

 

[BB in Crazy!!!!]

Flexibility . 3 days in office 2 at home.
I’m doing 4 days in office at least 1 at home

This. Friday and Mondays are home, the rest office. Eases the Monday burden, and nobody wants to be in work on Friday.

 

[plataoplombo]

I'd think it would be hard to get top talent to come in in a field like IT, unless it's for the gov.

 

[Fedorgasm]

Why do you want them in the office?

It's hard to sexually harass them from home

 

[BreatheSherBro]

How much time do workers actually need to spend in the office? I understand not wanting a completely remote workforce, but who benefits from employees coming to the office every day?

I guess it is going to depend on the specific company. There are some jobs that have lots of spontaneous collaboration. They might need more in person work. Jobs that involve mostly working independently on a computer though do not really require much in person work.

The worst excuse for bringing everyone back to the office every day though is that you don't think they work enough while at home. If they are not working enough, it's because they are not being supervised correctly. Management should set proper quotas/expectations then monitor appropriately. That doesn't require observing employees in person for most office jobs. If someone is not getting their work done while at home council them, then discipline them if necessary.

 

[Only Here for Attachments]

Hot secretaries always worked for me

 

[ColemanwastheGOAT]

What are the arguments for and against?

 

[Cyrano200]

I'd think it would be hard to get top talent to come in in a field like IT, unless it's for the gov.

As a government worker, I can say it's very difficult to get IT workers to come in. Even harder to get them to stay once they have a modicum of experience. Our systems are woefully maintained and mostly outdated.

 

[method115]

I'd think it would be hard to get top talent to come in in a field like IT, unless it's for the gov.

Yep it is. I see a lot of jobs doing some sort of hybrid now. It's crazy how much things have changed since covid.

 

[syct23]

outsource a good % of their jobs to India, they might get the clue on their future

We already tried that in the early 00’s…