How to deal with brickfeet apartment neighbor

3rd Season

3rd Season

White Belt
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I need your help Sherbros.

Me and my girlfriend have been living in our apartment now for about 4 months and about a month and a half ago we had someone move above us.

First thing the man did was install wood flooring which amplifies every movement he makes. He is pretty obese too (not morbidly but definitely does not take care of himself) and seems to walk on his heels which makes everything worse.

I know it's almost impossible to have 100 percent peace and quiet from your neighbors when you live in an apt complex but this dude has me near a breaking point. He comes home late every night and I wake up around midnight- 1am to him putzing around and pacing back and forth for up to an hour and then he gets up usually between 5-530 and literally just walk back and forth nonstop till about 9am when he leaves for work or whatever he does.

Its so bad my dog will start grunting and barking thinking the roof is going to collapse. We've had paintings fall off the walls before when he musters enough energy to walk quickly enough and can even hear his bed squeaking above us and hear the porn he's watching (usually about 6am on the dot every morning). Its bad guys.

The apartments are small too and it's unreal how much walking he does, its nonstop. Me and my girlfriend average about 3.5-4 hours of solid sleep a night now and we wake up every morning alarmed because he's so fucking loud.

We talked to the apartment manager and they told us kindly to go fuck ourselves in the nicest way possible. I want to confront him but at this point I don't think I could kindly and there's not much to say except lose about 150 pounds.

I've taken immature measures and now just take a broom and walk the length of my house under him and just bang on the roof with it to let him know some things up but to no avail. I'm sure some of you have been in/ are in the same situation and I need to know what I can do to fix this problem.

I haven't slept decently in almost a month bros, and I need my sleep.


Tldr:

-Fat neighbor is fat.
-installed wood flooring which amplifies his obesity.
-Comes home late wakes up early giving us about 4 hours peace a night.
-paces around nonstop and can even hear his routine masturbation every morning.


Should I go up there and touch him with teh jab? Maybe a few uppercuts? Or should I drill a hole in the ceiling and install speakers so I could blast terrible music every time he annoys us? Discuss friends.
 
Last edited:
Fill the apartment with uppercuts
 
Asshole has no weight, age, gender or race limits. The old cunt above me weighs all of 90 pounds but she stomps around like a donkey and gets in frequent shouting matches with her freeloading boyfriend.

Ours is a condominium so we have taken to fining her for her tirades. An apartment is tough. You probably have no other choice than to deal with it or move.
 
You're complaining that he's walking and pulling himself off?

If you cried about that to me I'd slam the door in your face.

That level of noise is very common in apartment living.

Get a better job and move into a freestanding house
 
Move is about your only sensible option.
 
Put loud music on to f*ck with him also ... and if you have a chance , mooove.
 
  • How does he get to change the flooring in an apt?????? I've never ever been or heard of any place where you can just do that on your own.

  • This is a lost cause. You can't make him leave, you can't make him lose weight, you can't make him sleep on the schedule you do, your landlord really can't do anything either, and they don't sound like they care much anyway. Your only option is to move out and let your landlord know why (after you get your deposit back).
 
3rd Season said:
We talked to the apartment manager and they told us kindly to go fuck ourselves in the nicest way possible.
Click to expand...

If your story is true as you tell it, sounds like you should move. Noise complaints aren't easy to resolve but they're easy to address, and if your apartment manager won't take any steps at all, move somewhere reasonable.
 
Yeah man, you need to move. Sometimes noise depends not only on the neighbor, but the place itself. Last apt i lived at i could hear a lot of shit i didn't want to hear. If you can hear this guy wanking it, it means you need to move to a better place. It'll be easier to deal with the noise knowing you're going to be rid of it soon (assuming your lease is almost up.)

And if you move to another place with hardwood floors, try to get the upstairs unit.
 
I had the same issue in a loft apartment.

People above me were lawyers.

The woman would put her high heels on and walk around for an hour each morning from 530 on

I asked them and the apartment nicely and got no where.

So I started playing the national anthem on my guitar every morning at 3am heavy distortion loudest it would go.

I would also leave my stereo on rage against the machine repeat pocket full of shells pretty loud when I would go out of town.

Bottom line. Move
 
Kill him.

Have your girlriend bake him cupcakes (laced with poison) Make sure she wears latex gloves a head mask/cover. With long sleeves so no DNA/prints of any kind get on anything.

Get cupcake box from local cupake dealers (pay cash, so there's no credit card trail). Replace cupcakes and have a delivery service to bring them when he's home. Book a small vacation in advance, to make sure you're not there when it happens.

Good luck.
 
I found it strange they let him switch the flooring also. To the guy who said he would slam the door in my face and to get a better job, you sound like the guy I'm complaining about. I have a great job. I haven't really confronted him because I know it really wouldn't do anything and there's not much he can do except maybe being more mindful of the noise he makes.

Tbh I know there's not much I can do except move and that's what we are planning on however we have until Dec till the lease is up. I made this thread more so to vent and to maybe get some funny ideas/replies to what I could do in retaliation.

Sometimes I wonder if he even knows he makes such a ruckus all the time. I've thought about just asking him to be more mindful of his noise output, especially in the early hours of the morning. I just never really see the dude and even if I do, how I could respectfully ask him. Living in apartments you have to be somewhat mindful of your neighbors if you want to co exist peacefully and everyone makes some sacrifices to be respectful. Its just hard (and maybe wrong) to have to ask someone to be.
 
MMA since 1993 said:
Kill him.

Have your girlriend bake him cupcakes (laced with poison) Make sure she wears latex gloves a head mask/cover. With long sleeves so no DNA/prints of any kind get on anything.

Get cupcake box from local cupake dealers (pay cash, so there's no credit card trail). Replace cupcakes and have a delivery service to bring them when he's home. Book a small vacation in advance, to make sure you're not there when it happens.

Good luck.
Click to expand...

See that's the kind of shit I'm lookin for
 
We had a young neighbor couple move upstairs a few months ago. They would party from thurs-sat. So they would come back around 4 am. And would stomp the shit out of the stairs. Obvously waking us up.

So we put a note by the stairs asking nicely to not stomp that early in the morning because people were still sleeping. It actually worked.
 
MMA since 1993 said:
We had a young neighbor couple move upstairs a few months ago. They would party from thurs-sat. So they would come back around 4 am. And would stomp the shit out of the stairs. Obvously waking us up.

So we put a note by the stairs asking nicely to not stomp that early in the morning because people were still sleeping. It actually worked.
Click to expand...
Yeah you should try this TS.

Maybe your neighbour is one of those jolly fat guys, and not the angry sexually frustrated kind.
 
MMA since 1993 said:
Kill him.

Have your girlriend bake him cupcakes (laced with poison) Make sure she wears latex gloves a head mask/cover. With long sleeves so no DNA/prints of any kind get on anything.

Get cupcake box from local cupake dealers (pay cash, so there's no credit card trail). Replace cupcakes and have a delivery service to bring them when he's home. Book a small vacation in advance, to make sure you're not there when it happens.

Good luck.
Click to expand...
wEArg.gif
 
Sounds like a sub par apartment if it doesn't even have insulation and/or soundproofing between floors.

Time to move, maybe into a house so you don't need to worry about this next time.
 
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