You know what? Screw it. I'm going to get weirdly perscriptive. I should see your girlfriend once every three days. Exactly that, no deviations. She has a birthday that's off schedule? Guess what, you're not going. Wants you to be there for a special event? It better be on your schedule, or no dice. Under no circumstance should you ever have consecutive meals with one another. She is not allowed at your place at all for the first 4.75 months, and then, she is not allowed to leave a single thing there for the next 32 weeks. After that, she gets a toothbrush. Nothing more. Follow these steps EXACTLY or else. Also, you should find at least one situation per interaction with her to criticize her weight, mother, or career trajectory. Try to incorporate these immediately following sex. Again, follow these instructions to the letter if you have any hope for success. You're welcome.