I guess you deserve a serious answer after all that, though.
Look, I'm only a blue belt and I've only been training for about 4 years so I may not be as clued up as some of the other people here, but why the fuck would your coach kick your butt for being a cigarette smoker? Some of the people in our club smoke. That's their own fuckin business, they are paying customers who pay to train there. What they do outside of the gym is up to them.
I could get if he would maybe try to encourage you to quit or something, but a coach as controlling as you're making it sound doesn't sound very good lad.
I might be over exaggerating a tad. Sorry, that's the writer in me. I wouldn't say controlling, he'd probably just encourage me to quit like you said.
I think it's more he's looking out for me/has my best interest in mind or something like that. We're a college club, I guess he figures college kids make mistakes. Plus I hear from others that smoking hinders performance, and since we compete that would hurt us.