filth

LEWIS540

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@Titanium
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am bored. please share with me any filthy, or humerous sexual adventures.

i once creamed in a girls face (at her insistance) only to get it in her eye. she went temporairly blind, and had to tell her father (who was a doctor) what had happened. i am still awaiting my invite to afternoon tea.
 
i`ll tell you mine but i don`t you know you very well...later
 
Now there's no way in hell she told her dad you got jizz in her eye, you silly liar.
 
No way - I was there, it's all true.... We even got it on tape!
 
Get her an eye patch and give it another go. Her dad will thank you next time your cum splatters across his princess's face.
 
Ok..I'll tell share an episode with you from my single days. I used to work graveyard shift at a Kinko's Copies. Anyway ,I worked with this incredible looking chick named Monica. On my first night there, Monica totally came on to me! She was telling me that she's not looking for any relationships and that she's just looking for a good time. All of this is happening around 1 a.m. At 3:00 a.m. I decided to call her bluff. I go right up to her and place my hands on her thighs and start tot talk dirty to her. I couold tell that she wasn't fucking around and that she really wanted to get it on! We begion to kiss and feel all over each other. Then, Monica has a plan. She tells me that she's going to go take her undies off in the bathrooma dn that I should get ready to put the condom on. Monica comes out of the bathroom with her panties in one hand and her pants are still on. By this time, I was starting to get confused. She then tells me that she used an exacto blade to slit a hole in her pants. We went at it like 2 wild animals. I even had some of her "fluid" on my Kinko's smok. It was truly one of the greatest sexual experiences I've ever had! The reason it was so special is because Monica was a grade ahead of me at highschool and she didn't even know I existed back then. It's such a dream come true when you get to fuck a girl who you've always been attracted to. I decided to give her a call after I quit working at Kinko's. She was 7 months pregnant, but she still offered to suck me up. I guess i never realized how tramppy she was
 
LOL!!! That's actually a great story.
 
Was this seven months after the rendezvous?
 
Originally posted by Meat Fist
Was this seven months after the rendezvous?

I thought about the same thing...
 
HAHAHAHA this is great.

I've posted this before but I know a story about a marriage ending because the hubby shot his load in his missus' eye after a bj even though she specifically said for him not to....

- The Jake
 
well there was this time at the grocery store...


i was looking in the produce section for a good head of lettuce, and i have NO clue when it comes to produce...but this lady in her upper 30's is also looking in the produce section, and this lady was HOT...but i pay no attention as i was sure she was older and married...but i happen to walk past and she asks me a question as to how you can tell what is a good cucumber...well she then went on to tell me the only way to know for sure is if i bang her with it and it stays firm and doesnt get soggy from her juices...now i think shes joking but she lifts a leg on the the display and kinda guides my hand with the cucumber to her her pussy...so now im thinking in my head that ive gone INSANE, but i just wail on her with this produce and absolutely destroy her pussy, i mean PAIN...and she was loving it...she then gets off, calmly takes the cucumber from me...wipes it off and puts it in her basket and leaves the store...
 
by the way that story was fake, just like LEWIS540's
 
That is like the time I was banging this stock girl in the freezer and well my penis froze inside her and we had to goto the hospital to have it removed.
 
Punk that was your best string of posts ever.

- The Jake
 
i was looking in the produce section for a good head of lettuce, and i have NO clue when it comes to produce...but this lady in her upper 30's is also looking in the produce section, and this lady was HOT...but i pay no attention as i was sure she was older and married...but i happen to walk past and she asks me a question as to how you can tell what is a good cucumber...well she then went on to tell me the only way to know for sure is if i bang her with it and it stays firm and doesnt get soggy from her juices...now i think shes joking but I said fuck it.... I threw her up onto the tomatoes - Fucked the shit out her, took her purse and ran....

True Story!
 
There's something irrationally satisfying about nutting in her eye. Is it just me or is that every man's desire?
 
Originally posted by FightTilYouDie
There's something irrationally satisfying about nutting in her eye. Is it just me or is that every man's desire?

Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Jerked off in his girlfriends eye.
When her eye was dry and shut,
Georgie fucked that one eyed slut.........
 
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