Favorite "Seinfeld" show quotes

[DW=HERO]

Back, and to the left

 

[Hearse Lightning]

"Elaine are you listening? I didn't even get there!"

 

[rj144]

Kramer: "It's a write off for them Jerry."

Jerry: "Do you even know what a write off is?"

Kramer: "No, but they do and they're the ones writing it off."

 

[rj144]

Kramer: "It's first and first. How can the same street intersect itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe!"

 

[rj144]

Neuman: "Packages are seldom damaged in shipping."

Jerry: "Define seldom."

Neuman: "Frequently."

 

[Deleted member 460645]

Kramer: "It's a write off for them Jerry."

Jerry: "Do you even know what a write off is?"

Kramer: "No, but they do and they're the ones writing it off."

Kramer: "It's first and first. How can the same street intersect itself? I must be at the nexus of the universe!"

Neuman: "Packages are seldom damaged in shipping."

Jerry: "Define seldom."

Neuman: "Frequently."

These are gold! Gold!

Seriously though, the first and first intersection line makes me die laughing every time.

 

[rj144]

These are gold! Gold!

Seriously though, the first and first intersection line makes me die laughing every time.

Yup... hilarious. The thing that makes the Neuman one awesome is the timing on Neuman's part when he says frequently.

 

[faustian]

It’s one of my all time favourite episodes. He stops having sex and becomes a genius. The shots of him cranking home runs gets me every time as well.

I loved his line when Jerry tried to besmirch him:

"Ah, a simple joke for a simple man."

I use that all the time irl

 

[Henry Swanson]

Yup... hilarious. The thing that makes the Neuman one awesome is the timing on Neuman's part when he says frequently.

I also like when Newman tells that female postal worker “I’ll take care of this. Why don’t you take your 3 hour break.”

 

[Henry Swanson]

“I’m a bootleggah!! Bootleggin’ a movie.”

 

[Deleted member 460645]

I also like when Newman tells that female postal worker “I’ll take care of this. Why don’t you take your 3 hour break.”

Fucking lol. 3 hour break. I love how much they made fun of the postal service throughout Seinfeld.

 

[Henry Swanson]

 

[Henry Swanson]

Fucking lol. 3 hour break. I love how much they made fun of the postal service throughout Seinfeld.

There’s no way I can handle 8 in addition to my regular load of 1.

 

[marioh]

jackie chiles is one of the best characters in the show, pick a line.

 

[Fugazi]

I loved the names.
Hal kitsmiller
Todd Gak

“Cougar, you couldn’t smooth a silk sheet if you had a hot date with a babe........ I lost my train of thought”

 

[Fugazi]

The Merv Griffin set episode is legendary

 

[Fugazi]

You traded Jay Buhner.... he had a rocket for an arm

 

[Fugazi]

Steinbrenners here, George is dead, call me back

 

[Fugazi]

We’re gonna be in the pool, we’re gonna be in the clubhouse, we’re gonna be all over the shuffleboard court

 

[Fugazi]

You ask me to get a pair of underwear, I’m back in 2 seconds