Falling out with best friends...

I've had a few. One friend about 6 months ago. He was the only one that lives anywhere near me. I'd got a little tired of his behaviour and said something a bit harsh and that was it. He never spoke to me again. I could apologise but the friendship had already run it's course I think, we didn't have a lot in common either. I felt I had been there for him through some dark times and helped him along and if he couldn't dismiss one loose comment by me, then what is the point?

I did have one around ten years back go bad. We had been friends for like 15 years or more. I got invited to his surprise birthday party by his brother (which was in Tasmania) and I travelled down and although he was still polite to me and made an effort to talk to me, it was clear he didn't regard me as one of his best friends anymore for some reason. He walked over to me and shook my hand and raised his eyebrows and said "Didn't expect to see you here!" The way he said it though was as if there had been a falling out between us (I wasn't aware of one).
He still spoke to me a few times over the weekend but it was laboured and I felt like the 'what the fuck are you doing here? guy'. I felt he was humouring me because of the distance I had travelled to be there. As I said when I was invited by his brother I thought we were still great friends.

I messaged him twice after the weekend down there and I got one lacklustre reply and then ghosted. I still don't know what happened. Having thought about it for a while I'm not sure if I had made some comment he didn't like (long before the party) or because he recently had a new girlfriend (after he had been long term single) and I also suspected she was not keen on him hanging around me (I'd barely met her) possibly because I was one of the dreaded 'single male friends'. I have no idea. We had been very close for a long time but I let it go. I felt that if he didn't want to be my friend any longer (for whatever reason, especially without letting me know why) then that was that.

I've had several good friends that I'm no longer in touch with or close to just because we grew apart or moved away from each other etc and our lives changed a bit. No bad blood with them.

The main one though was about 20 years ago when my family lived at the opposite end of the state to where I was living and my father died. I went home for the funeral and to help my mother for a while after losing her life partner etc. I was away for a month or two and I returned to find my supposed best friend had fucked my girlfriend whilst I was away.
That was a tough one. Eventually I managed to take a philosophical view that I was now fortunate enough that they were both out of my life and that in time I wouldn't care about either of them, which did end up being the case. It fucking sucked for a while though.

It is amazing that you can be extremely close to someone and then have a falling out and no longer have any contact, or go on to hate them, but that is life.
 
I"m sure everyone asks, but who is that in your av? I think I've even seen the movie but I can't make out or remember who it is.
 
method115 said:
Not exactly sure what happened to me and my best friend honestly. We both had ex's who cheated on us and they did all this stuff together. Like they were cheating with other guys together (at the time I didn't know my ex was cheating). I found out his wife cheated through my ex. Not sure why my ex told me this when she was cheating as well but my ex was always a bit crazy. I told my friend what my ex said and then he talked to her to confirm it was all true. He ended up staying with his wife after finding out and things weren't the same after that really. We reconnected for a bit and I went to parties and all that. He eventually divorced his wife and I found out she was beating him the whole time. We made plans to hang out but he was always busy and I just gave up. Which it was weird because he called me telling me he wanted things to go back to how they were. Then every weekend he's busy doing stuff.

I suspect my buddy knew my ex was cheating on me and he didn't say anything. I honestly don't want to know one way or the other and I'd rather just move on from that part of my life and be friends. I love the dude but when it comes to women he's always been incredibly weak. When I found out his wife was beating him all I could think is he gave up his whole family to be with this women. Thankfully his family has forgiven him and they've reconciled now but it really made me see just how weak he was when it came to women. I loved his family and it was very confusing to me why they would cut out their son from their life but it made sense once he revealed that to me. I was even considering driving over to their house to talk to them about it at one point.

In highschool his girl friend also treated him like shit. Then when they broke up he confessed his love to this other girl who was straight up a hoe. The look on his face when this hoe told him she didn't want to hang out and she was going to hang out with me (as in just me and her in my parents house with no one home). He literally looked at her and said "really?" with the saddest puppy dog face I've ever seen. I hung out with her in my bed just me and her and I could have banged but I just didn't want any drama with my buddy so I left it alone. The girl he was with before was already contemplating dating him or me but she straight up said she's not sure about me because she thinks I just want to fuck (which was true). There were a lot of signs that I picked up on during our friendship that made me think he was jealous of me.

He's in therapy now getting help for all these issues though so I think that's a good thing at least. Sometimes I wonder if the reason he doesn't really want to hang out is because it just reminds him of the past and he wants to forget about all of it and move on with his life.

Damn I realize I just wrote a story. Guess I needed to get this shit off my chest.
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He sounds like a Sherdog plat member. WarRoom too, I bet.
What’s his handle ?
 
Had a buddy that only wanted to do coke and smoke pot. Maybe cool to a certain point but starts to get pathetic mid 30s. Never wanted to go out and meet women anymore, just wanted to stay in and do drugs or hang out with the same coke head crowd that was never moving forward. Wish I stopped hanging out with him 10 years earlier in retrospect. My career has soared, got married have a kid and I'm not wasting my life.
 
Fedorgasm said:
That's actually very common, sadly.

People with less money than you too often assume 2 things...

1. You just got lucky.
2. You can afford to share, and you're selfish of you don't.

This is why it's really shitty when best friends start out broke and then later one becomes way more successful than the other. Rather than being happy for the richer friend, the poor friend can't help but feel jealous and it eventually ruins the friendship.
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I'm fortunate to have a best guy who hasn't hated me for this, he just started giving me royal titles as a means of making light of the situation. He lives in a major fixer upper but seems to be on his way to getting some work done, and i try to encourage him in his quest, but never monetarily. Meanwhile I have a much nicer home that I almost have the ability to pay off in full (only a few thousand dollars away from syncing up what I have vs what I owe). I don't think we've ever exchanged a serious cross word with each other. Some people just really mesh with one another.

I did use to buy him beer in university though, but I just wanted someone to drink and play video games with. Maybe I'm still living on that good will
 
Jack Reacheround said:
Damn. What was the deal?
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Lol, sorry for not answering. It's been said, mentorship, help with production and promotion. He was already helping us with promotion stuff, giving free tickets to kids in towns we were going to play in for them to help with marketing for example. Ways of making fans feel like they're part of it.
 
When you are younger you hear the words friends and acquaintances.
It is not unitl you get a little older, and really start to understand the distinction.
Most people end up being acquaintances. Real friends are hard to come by.
 
4daLuLZ said:
I’ve always been a major introvert but I have one best friend.
We met on the first day of school, grade 1. Been besties since. Been 38 years now.
He introduced me to my now wife. Was my best man. Knows me more than anybody else. One word can speak sentences. We can sync up and damn near read each other’s minds. More than my wife.
He’s also the best guy I know with literally no vices and has never disappointed me so far and lord knows I’m a judgy fuck.

But Dear Lord……do I hate his bitch wife. The one black spot on my pristine friend.
But I endure.

View attachment 1009974
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what makes her a bitch? does she say stuff?
 
He marreid an evil bitch unfortunately I introduced him to her. LOL
 
machidafan99 said:
He marreid an evil bitch unfortunately I introduced him to her. LOL
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funny thing I notice is when i'm around married men in somewhat of a regular basis, the women end up talking to me just like they do their husbands, everytime. I hate the shit. I didn't marry her, why do I have to deal with that? And I really just distance myself from them all today.
 
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