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Ever date someone with depression?

Whiterabbit

Whiterabbit

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I was seeing a girl I met on a dating site for about a month. She was awesome funny, sexy, not boring at all to talk to. She was really affectionate too. She initiated the first kiss, everything, first everything intimate. Went on about how great I was, how lucky she was to have me. She even wanted to take me to a family wedding with her, after a month of knowing ne. Monday she tells me she is stressed at work all morning and then breaks up with me via text. So I don't hit her up, and she texts me later asking why I'm not fighting for her. So we text some more over the next few days. She tells me about how she is on anti depressents, is depressed had suicidal thoughts. Talks go ok I think we are on the verge of getting back together when all of a sudden she tells me she straight up doesnt want to date me now and she isn't attracted to me anymore.
So it all has me confused and am worried about her safety if she had those thoughts
 
She might be bipolar in addition to depressed.
 
Wouldn't surprise me at all if she had borderline personality.
 
Feel lucky you didn't invest too much. Sounds like she could be a real handful to deal with. Maybe it's for the best.
 
BisexualMMA said:
Wouldn't surprise me at all if she had borderline personality.
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Exactly what it sounds like to me. Broke up with a girl who had it in January and she still emails stupid shit like every other day. When I block her email she makes a different account
 
headkicktoleg said:
Exactly what it sounds like to me. Broke up with a girl who had it in January and she still emails stupid shit like every other day. When I block her email she makes a different account
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Why won't you let me love you?
 
Hell no, would bolt as soon as the crazy shows up. No reason to fuc with the exact science that is anti depressants and the human brain
 
I've been there.

Run away from any woman who says "why won't you fight for me" after dumping you. Run faster when she brings up suicidal thoughts. Even if her depression is real, you aren't a dumping group for her dysfunction. It takes time to be able to process shit like that, and you've barely had time to figure out if you even like her beyond the "getting to know her" phase.
 
Whiterabbit said:
I was seeing a girl I met on a dating site for about a month. She was awesome funny, sexy, not boring at all to talk to. She was really affectionate too. She initiated the first kiss, everything, first everything intimate. Went on about how great I was, how lucky she was to have me. She even wanted to take me to a family wedding with her, after a month of knowing ne. Monday she tells me she is stressed at work all morning and then breaks up with me via text. So I don't hit her up, and she texts me later asking why I'm not fighting for her. So we text some more over the next few days. She tells me about how she is on anti depressents, is depressed had suicidal thoughts. Talks go ok I think we are on the verge of getting back together when all of a sudden she tells me she straight up doesnt want to date me now and she isn't attracted to me anymore.
So it all has me confused and am worried about her safety if she had those thoughts
Click to expand...

I dated someone who was Bipolar with periods of major depression, and usually chronic mild depression. She has attempted suicide once, a couple years before meeting me. She was amazing, as you describe. We dated for 3 years, and for the bulk of the relationship, I thought she was the one. However, by the end, it was very tiring trying to motivate her, and make sure she was happy. I needed a break, and that break turned into never getting back together.

I felt like shit for it, and still do at times... but it really was the right move. Sucks, but you got to do whats best for you.
 
I think what a lot of people don't realize about depression is that it's not about reasonable responses. If you look for reasoned, measured, and calculated plans of action in a partner, someone with depression will be a very challenging match for you. In order to have a really fulfilling match with someone with depression, you are going to have to take their good and be ready to absorb a lot of negativity that is in no way reasonable. Odds are they will appreciate it at depths you will never completely understand and they will not be able to effectively show.

It may be for the best that you're not together now, depending on your needs in a partner. Good luck to you - and to her!!
 
TS, it sounds like this girl might have more problems than just depression. Her behaviour seems to be a bit beyond that which is symptomatic of typical depression.

Anyway, to answer the question, yes, I have dated someone with depression, namely my wife. We’ve been together since 2006 and she was diagnosed with depression 2011 and was on antidepressants until 2016. In hindsight she showed the symptoms of depression in 2009, I was just too stupid to really notice them or to much of a pussy to discuss my concerns with her then.

My advice would be to stay away if you’ve only been with this girl a few months as being with someone who’s depressed is frustrating, exhausting and a lot of work. I stayed with my wife because I love her and am firmly committed to her, but if you’re not that invested in the relationship yet (ie not married, or have kids or whatever) then you really need to think hard on this. While leaving someone with depression seems like a selfish, assholish move, people with depression typically bring those around them down with them. You need to be aware of that, and strong enough to support yourself before you’re able to effectively support the other person who’s suffering from depression.

Unless you’re fully prepared to handle being with someone with depression you’re doing both of you a disservice by trying to salvage a relationship that’s doomed to failure and which could leave your own life in ruin.
 
TheWorm said:
TS, it sounds like this girl might have more problems than just depression. Her behaviour seems to be a bit beyond that which is symptomatic of typical depression.

Anyway, to answer the question, yes, I have dated someone with depression, namely my wife. We’ve been together since 2006 and she was diagnosed with depression 2011 and was on antidepressants until 2016. In hindsight she showed the symptoms of depression in 2009, I was just too stupid to really notice them or to much of a pussy to discuss my concerns with her then.

My advice would be to stay away if you’ve only been with this girl a few months as being with someone who’s depressed is frustrating, exhausting and a lot of work. I stayed with my wife because I love her and am firmly committed to her, but if you’re not that invested in the relationship yet (ie not married, or have kids or whatever) then you really need to think hard on this. While leaving someone with depression seems like a selfish, assholish move, people with depression typically bring those around them down with them. You need to be aware of that, and strong enough to support yourself before you’re able to effectively support the other person who’s suffering from depression.
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Thank you. That's about as real as it gets.
 
Trying now to get out of a relationship with a bipolar depressed woman now. Did not find out she was bipolar and dealing with issues until about 4 months into the relationship but she held it together for another 8 months before she fell of the rails.

Later found out she attempted suicide 3 times when she was younger. Now we another 6 months from her falling off the rails and I am trying to distance myself from her. I am worried to just go away for good out of fear she may try to kill hrself. I don’t want her blood on my hands. I feel for people in her situation as they cannot control certain things but it is also very difficult for those involved with people who have depression and mental issues.

The really bad thing is how they seem to change in facial feature and facial expression. She was this cute redhead with big blue eyes and a great smile but now she just has this off look about her that shows real anguish or something. It is tough to describe.
 
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