Do I still belong here? a vote

[Kowboy On Sherdog]

When we used to have custom belts, I wasn't really a regular member that posted tons so I didn't meet the post count requirements for a custom belt.

But I had the join date down, and I remember posing my tiger belt and you said "close enough Cornish" and put the custom belt under my name. I appreciated that very much.

Wonder if you remember haha.

I had a Stone Cold , Drinking a Bud Light with Middle Fingers belt that @Tom Servo made... not sure whatever happened to that guy. Or really any platinum members from 2010-2011.

 

[x9lonewolf]

Yes sir!

 

[Sasha]

I play Fallout

Why didn't you say that sooner ?
Of course then, you belong anywhere.
If you're talking about the first two, that is. New Vegas is tolerated.

Thanks for that post, which is less cryptic.
You know, understanding has always been my first obsession in life. Needless to say this is keeping me busy, desperate at times, as you might guess, but it's mostly been a driving force, although clashing with other urges.

He really is. Beautiful songs some times, but man he goes out of his way to make shit weird. Nice slow song called Porcelain that I always felt like doing cuz it really translates well to an acoustic format, but I'd rather not risk the reaction to the line "Do you smell like a girl when you smile?" If it wasn't for that line, I wouldn't be as put off by "Do you carry the moon in your womb?" later in the song.

Got some real creepy, uterine-curious, women-sniffing imagery there

I love that song too.

That's the upside of singing nearly exclusively songs written in English in here, nearly no-one understands a word. You may, or may not know I do music in the streets, when I'm not working, and I'm sure I could sing a song about raping my daughter in English, on the busiest street in town, and people would be smiling at me.
Even for me, it is much harder to grasp everything, I must be missing so many idioms, images, subtext.
I used to write, but it's less time-consuming to just pay homage to the musicians I admire.

Also, singing my own writings, in my own language, in front of everyone, is still a step too high for me. I went from being a pathologically shy child, to bursting my lungs in town centers, and that changed me, but the language barrier is still an actual barrier for me, I guess.
It's kinda a practical choice too, because 99% of my favourite artists are from the US or UK.

Edit : I just read your later posts. I knew you were an interesting guy, told you some time ago IIRC.

 

[Drunken Meat Fist]

When we used to have custom belts, I wasn't really a regular member that posted tons so I didn't meet the post count requirements for a custom belt.

But I had the join date down, and I remember posing my tiger belt and you said "close enough Cornish" and put the custom belt under my name. I appreciated that very much.

Wonder if you remember haha.

I do remember that belt. I'm sorry I'm sorry I don't remember you, but thank you so much for that. We're both alive and here, today right now. We can rectify that. Message me. I'm slow on replies sometimes but we should be buddies. You caring to post that is gonna stick with me.

They say Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. From sitting on couch in the sticks to another one, you tell me that's not hilarious. There were 9 or 10 admins doing duck duck ban, and there were two good ones. Jeff told me, over a smail period of time (because I was enjoying myself, I've been banned three times, once as moderator, and I had to double yellow card myslef (which was tricky, you see how I am with clips). I got intellectually boxed into a corner and acknowledged. I should have been banned but I wasn't sure I'd be able to get back in.

In a box of admins, some good ones, some friends. And then there was three for a long time, Crippler from England, I love that man and he just faded off to me. Do you know how long I was the only administrator? I just had the Meat Fist account but Garrett (Jeff's Tech guy, my best friend) he called me up and said, hey we'd like to you be an administrator. I said, man, I'm off topic this isn't gonna go over well. Can I just administrate when I'm drinking? He said you bet. I would only post under this account while I was drinking, ...and you see how that worked out. I love my old account.

Brother, I got to run this website for a giant amount of time. I would pass out arguing with a guy I wouldn't ban anyone who fucked with me, I drove mods nuts. And as any good dictator, I brought in every friend I had, that changed this whole fucking place. I brought in people who hated me because they were awesome, and I sold out for coming out of OT, where I belong. Some of the admins were not cool and banning everyone I cared about so I thought, and no easy decision. I lost a lot of good friends for selling out. That was a defining moment. I thought, I'm the arch nemesis of Dave Hojack (the main admin) fuck did we clash, He once said to me, you'll get your just deserts. I said a dry arid piece of land?, and then my screen went black. it was like that.
... If you were you and thought what if I could clutch both fists and bring Off Topic, real Sherdog,bring all the great ones in and the one defining coda, please don't ban unless it's egregious porn or shit outside of anyone, ...this whole place used to be off topic, there wasn't a bunch of forums. People came here because this was the real wild west of the internet. That's not a joke, that's what brought me here from a brother's push. It was 98 and he had a compture and I asked who was fighting and I swear to god, he said this is stupid, buy a computer, go to sherdog, they're never gonna see you coming, you'll run that place. I don't want to run shit. But if that played out for you. Also, my back was broke, I was here all the time. It was four months in, around there, I get a call from Garrett again. Hey, we want to pay you. I said, man, no I don't want to get paid to do this, it changes the feeling. He said well, I have your info we're gonna pay you. I got paid $400 a month for doing this. ...and with no words spoken, through the years it was $600 dollars, ...time passes no words $800 10 12 . So I have his number too. He says as we make money, it's you me and Jeff. He said every six months for a while, 500 dollar increments. And that happened, and it's hard to type that. I was at the post office one day around Christmas, and I got a little Christmas card from Jeff and Garrett and a check for $2500.
I broke down crying in the post office, I do that sometimes anyone, it's up to you if I'm crying now.
I suppose of one who's read and invested in all this shit, you might wonder what I did with the money. That's something to play with no?
I never told anyone about the money. I cashed it and put it under my tv, and every time the wife or one of the kids had a bad day, or you got hit from the left in life, I plugged holes in a life. That money went 3 or 4 or 20 or 50 years. This place helped my family, how do you get paid to be you, an idiot. Nietzsche said, I'd only believe in a God who dances. Just as the money was rolling in the ducats, something bad happened and I was in the hospital for 3 months, the website was sold, the new owners couldn't justify me. I literally got a phonecall that went like this: "What do you do here exactly?" I was so dumbfounded I said, and what could you say. I said I administrate the website. I run the forums." there was no reply. I got a click and no more checks. I actually made a call and said this is my job, this is how I live. It came to naught. I lost my house, should have died in the hospital, wheelchair for a while, phonecalls antidepressants everyone who cared assumed I was gonna do it. I wasn't a 100% I've never been. I went silent here for a long time. And when I came back, I'm still an admin, the secret is there's a little box you click on so you can do your admin shit. I forgot that password, and maybe pride who do you ask if you can be an admin again. I would like to get it back, mainly because the dipshit I am, I struggle with posting clips, a girl I was with took the laptop off my lap and hugged me took a picture of us with her kiss face. I said, this fucking thing takes pictures?
So if a party was going on, or just random friends making fun of me, I'd wake to crazy picture on my screen. And I wanted to save them, a bunch but didn't know how, so I would go in the admin panel and upload the picture to some old banned account as their avatar and jot a note. Alot of people in those pictures are dead and I don't have any other pictures.

I miss getting drunk and allowing free porn in the pics forum as long as I was awake and could delete. When someone did something really cool, you get a free platinum membership. I miss whimsically being able randomly to do something nice for someone ....from a fucking typewriter. I miss some of that, but I had my day in the sun here. I assumed I'd just be gone when I logged in.

 

[Yep]

I don’t feel like I am worthy of deciding if someone should be here or not.

 

[Yep]

Does it feel like Drunken Meat Fist was chatgpt before chatgpt

 

[Drunken Meat Fist]

 

[Mohawk Banditó]

I do remember that belt. I'm sorry I'm sorry I don't remember you, but thank you so much for that. We're both alive and here, today right now. We can rectify that. Message me. I'm slow on replies sometimes but we should be buddies. You caring to post that is gonna stick with me.

They say Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. From sitting on couch in the sticks to another one, you tell me that's not hilarious. There were 9 or 10 admins doing duck duck ban, and there were two good ones. Jeff told me, over a smail period of time (because I was enjoying myself, I've been banned three times, once as moderator, and I had to double yellow card myslef (which was tricky, you see how I am with clips). I got intellectually boxed into a corner and acknowledged. I should have been banned but I wasn't sure I'd be able to get back in.

In a box of admins, some good ones, some friends. And then there was three for a long time, Crippler from England, I love that man and he just faded off to me. Do you know how long I was the only administrator? I just had the Meat Fist account but Garrett (Jeff's Tech guy, my best friend) he called me up and said, hey we'd like to you be an administrator. I said, man, I'm off topic this isn't gonna go over well. Can I just administrate when I'm drinking? He said you bet. I would only post under this account while I was drinking, ...and you see how that worked out. I love my old account.

Brother, I got to run this website for a giant amount of time. I would pass out arguing with a guy I wouldn't ban anyone who fucked with me, I drove mods nuts. And as any good dictator, I brought in every friend I had, that changed this whole fucking place. I brought in people who hated me because they were awesome, and I sold out for coming out of OT, where I belong. Some of the admins were not cool and banning everyone I cared about so I thought, and no easy decision. I lost a lot of good friends for selling out. That was a defining moment. I thought, I'm the arch nemesis of Dave Hojack (the main admin) fuck did we clash, He once said to me, you'll get your just deserts. I said a dry arid piece of land?, and then my screen went black. it was like that.
... If you were you and thought what if I could clutch both fists and bring Off Topic, real Sherdog,bring all the great ones in and the one defining coda, please don't ban unless it's egregious porn or shit outside of anyone, ...this whole place used to be off topic, there wasn't a bunch of forums. People came here because this was the real wild west of the internet. That's not a joke, that's what brought me here from a brother's push. It was 98 and he had a compture and I asked who was fighting and I swear to god, he said this is stupid, buy a computer, go to sherdog, they're never gonna see you coming, you'll run that place. I don't want to run shit. But if that played out for you. Also, my back was broke, I was here all the time. It was four months in, around there, I get a call from Garrett again. Hey, we want to pay you. I said, man, no I don't want to get paid to do this, it changes the feeling. He said well, I have your info we're gonna pay you. I got paid $400 a month for doing this. ...and with no words spoken, through the years it was $600 dollars, ...time passes no words $800 10 12 . So I have his number too. He says as we make money, it's you me and Jeff. He said every six months for a while, 500 dollar increments. And that happened, and it's hard to type that. I was at the post office one day around Christmas, and I got a little Christmas card from Jeff and Garrett and a check for $2500.
I broke down crying in the post office, I do that sometimes anyone, it's up to you if I'm crying now.
I suppose of one who's read and invested in all this shit, you might wonder what I did with the money. That's something to play with no?
I never told anyone about the money. I cashed it and put it under my tv, and every time the wife or one of the kids had a bad day, or you got hit from the left in life, I plugged holes in a life. That money went 3 or 4 or 20 or 50 years. This place helped my family, how do you get paid to be you, an idiot. Nietzsche said, I'd only believe in a God who dances. Just as the money was rolling in the ducats, something bad happened and I was in the hospital for 3 months, the website was sold, the new owners couldn't justify me. I literally got a phonecall that went like this: "What do you do here exactly?" I was so dumbfounded I said, and what could you say. I said I administrate the website. I run the forums." there was no reply. I got a click and no more checks. I actually made a call and said this is my job, this is how I live. It came to naught. I lost my house, should have died in the hospital, wheelchair for a while, phonecalls antidepressants everyone who cared assumed I was gonna do it. I wasn't a 100% I've never been. I went silent here for a long time. And when I came back, I'm still an admin, the secret is there's a little box you click on so you can do your admin shit. I forgot that password, and maybe pride who do you ask if you can be an admin again. I would like to get it back, mainly because the dipshit I am, I struggle with posting clips, a girl I was with took the laptop off my lap and hugged me took a picture of us with her kiss face. I said, this fucking thing takes pictures?
So if a party was going on, or just random friends making fun of me, I'd wake to crazy picture on my screen. And I wanted to save them, a bunch but didn't know how, so I would go in the admin panel and upload the picture to some old banned account as their avatar and jot a note. Alot of people in those pictures are dead and I don't have any other pictures.

I miss getting drunk and allowing free porn in the pics forum as long as I was awake and could delete. When someone did something really cool, you get a free platinum membership. I miss whimsically being able randomly to do something nice for someone ....from a fucking typewriter. I miss some of that, but I had my day in the sun here. I assumed I'd just be gone when I logged in.

I remember when Shane left the fighttips forum, and I was basically left running the place. At one point, I had more bans than every other staff combined

 

[ExxA]

senior admin asks if he belongs here? i'm not voting on this poll.. it reeks of a trap!

 

[Drunken Meat Fist]

Wouldn't that be the best. That I had that in my pocket the set-up and I wasn't struggling and just have been watching Madeline Khan because of this post.

In some tribes, as I've read, when one is disturbed (there's not much lit I know of) or picking at the bushes, they didn't always kill him, he'd get a teepee off to the side, and I imagine you'd get bored and go see what's going in the way of magic. The gods have always looked out. Madeline Khan will be in my heart forever.

 

[TCE]

I do remember that belt. I'm sorry I'm sorry I don't remember you, but thank you so much for that. We're both alive and here, today right now. We can rectify that. Message me. I'm slow on replies sometimes but we should be buddies. You caring to post that is gonna stick with me.

They say Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely. From sitting on couch in the sticks to another one, you tell me that's not hilarious. There were 9 or 10 admins doing duck duck ban, and there were two good ones. Jeff told me, over a smail period of time (because I was enjoying myself, I've been banned three times, once as moderator, and I had to double yellow card myslef (which was tricky, you see how I am with clips). I got intellectually boxed into a corner and acknowledged. I should have been banned but I wasn't sure I'd be able to get back in.

In a box of admins, some good ones, some friends. And then there was three for a long time, Crippler from England, I love that man and he just faded off to me. Do you know how long I was the only administrator? I just had the Meat Fist account but Garrett (Jeff's Tech guy, my best friend) he called me up and said, hey we'd like to you be an administrator. I said, man, I'm off topic this isn't gonna go over well. Can I just administrate when I'm drinking? He said you bet. I would only post under this account while I was drinking, ...and you see how that worked out. I love my old account.

Brother, I got to run this website for a giant amount of time. I would pass out arguing with a guy I wouldn't ban anyone who fucked with me, I drove mods nuts. And as any good dictator, I brought in every friend I had, that changed this whole fucking place. I brought in people who hated me because they were awesome, and I sold out for coming out of OT, where I belong. Some of the admins were not cool and banning everyone I cared about so I thought, and no easy decision. I lost a lot of good friends for selling out. That was a defining moment. I thought, I'm the arch nemesis of Dave Hojack (the main admin) fuck did we clash, He once said to me, you'll get your just deserts. I said a dry arid piece of land?, and then my screen went black. it was like that.
... If you were you and thought what if I could clutch both fists and bring Off Topic, real Sherdog,bring all the great ones in and the one defining coda, please don't ban unless it's egregious porn or shit outside of anyone, ...this whole place used to be off topic, there wasn't a bunch of forums. People came here because this was the real wild west of the internet. That's not a joke, that's what brought me here from a brother's push. It was 98 and he had a compture and I asked who was fighting and I swear to god, he said this is stupid, buy a computer, go to sherdog, they're never gonna see you coming, you'll run that place. I don't want to run shit. But if that played out for you. Also, my back was broke, I was here all the time. It was four months in, around there, I get a call from Garrett again. Hey, we want to pay you. I said, man, no I don't want to get paid to do this, it changes the feeling. He said well, I have your info we're gonna pay you. I got paid $400 a month for doing this. ...and with no words spoken, through the years it was $600 dollars, ...time passes no words $800 10 12 . So I have his number too. He says as we make money, it's you me and Jeff. He said every six months for a while, 500 dollar increments. And that happened, and it's hard to type that. I was at the post office one day around Christmas, and I got a little Christmas card from Jeff and Garrett and a check for $2500.
I broke down crying in the post office, I do that sometimes anyone, it's up to you if I'm crying now.
I suppose of one who's read and invested in all this shit, you might wonder what I did with the money. That's something to play with no?
I never told anyone about the money. I cashed it and put it under my tv, and every time the wife or one of the kids had a bad day, or you got hit from the left in life, I plugged holes in a life. That money went 3 or 4 or 20 or 50 years. This place helped my family, how do you get paid to be you, an idiot. Nietzsche said, I'd only believe in a God who dances. Just as the money was rolling in the ducats, something bad happened and I was in the hospital for 3 months, the website was sold, the new owners couldn't justify me. I literally got a phonecall that went like this: "What do you do here exactly?" I was so dumbfounded I said, and what could you say. I said I administrate the website. I run the forums." there was no reply. I got a click and no more checks. I actually made a call and said this is my job, this is how I live. It came to naught. I lost my house, should have died in the hospital, wheelchair for a while, phonecalls antidepressants everyone who cared assumed I was gonna do it. I wasn't a 100% I've never been. I went silent here for a long time. And when I came back, I'm still an admin, the secret is there's a little box you click on so you can do your admin shit. I forgot that password, and maybe pride who do you ask if you can be an admin again. I would like to get it back, mainly because the dipshit I am, I struggle with posting clips, a girl I was with took the laptop off my lap and hugged me took a picture of us with her kiss face. I said, this fucking thing takes pictures?
So if a party was going on, or just random friends making fun of me, I'd wake to crazy picture on my screen. And I wanted to save them, a bunch but didn't know how, so I would go in the admin panel and upload the picture to some old banned account as their avatar and jot a note. Alot of people in those pictures are dead and I don't have any other pictures.

I miss getting drunk and allowing free porn in the pics forum as long as I was awake and could delete. When someone did something really cool, you get a free platinum membership. I miss whimsically being able randomly to do something nice for someone ....from a fucking typewriter. I miss some of that, but I had my day in the sun here. I assumed I'd just be gone when I logged in.

I'll give you a message, brother. Always have remembered you as one of the good guys on these forums from way back in the day. It's great to see you are still around. You definitely had a good gig with the OG's here, getting paid as well. Shame they sold though, how are you doing now? you're still running things right? As you said though, it's good to see us all alive and posting haha.

 

[Drunken Meat Fist]

I'm still here, i have a child who had a child and when sent the ultrasound it leveled me in a million ways. I said that's a little girl. Be loved either way, but a little boy, man this lineage of the men. You're not your father, there's progress. You'd probably love my dad, I'm sure you would, I do, but all the shit he fucked up, I haven't been able to unfuck as a person. I can see the shit I can't do. Is it so horrible to be relieved she's a little girl and not

 

[Drunken Meat Fist]

I'll give you a message, brother. Always have remembered you as one of the good guys on these forums from way back in the day. It's great to see you are still around. You definitely had a good gig with the OG's here, getting paid as well. Shame they sold though, how are you doing now? you're still running things right? As you said though, it's good to see us all alive and posting haha.

mumbles to himself insert quotes.

To be honest, I'm not 100% sure I know how I'm doing. Kinda why I pop in. This place is like living year book to me sometimes. I log in and there's a sigh of relief, I'm home,, ya know. If you think about what I've done and been allowed to do with this place, a guy on a couch. To the guy who thought what I do. There is no difference, there is no metaphor. I'm sad that I find nice girls and say just don't say those words, and one by one ...I have notes. My cousin,, also dead, she thought I was the greatest person ever, growing she would intimidate the shit of any girl who looked at me. And have had this dark period where people are concerned, but that's never not been, ...one day there was a knock, there was few things like this, other times, but this time, I was still doing my shit here, I open the door and she shoves the girl in my face like embraced. And she says "This needs for fucking happen!!" This is where I get why people don't believe. hang on

 

[Drunken Meat Fist]

I'll give you a message, brother. Always have remembered you as one of the good guys on these forums from way back in the day. It's great to see you are still around. You definitely had a good gig with the OG's here, getting paid as well. Shame they sold though, how are you doing now? you're still running things right? As you said though, it's good to see us all alive and posting haha.

mumbles to himself insert quotes.

To be honest, I'm not 100% sure I know how I'm doing. Kinda why I pop in. This place is like living year book to me sometimes. I log in and there's a sigh of relief, I'm home,, ya know. If you think about what I've done and been allowed to do with this place, a guy on a couch. To the guy who thought what I do. There is no difference, there is no metaphor. I'm sad that I find nice girls and say just don't say those words, and one by one ...I have notes. My cousin,, also dead, she thought I was the greatest person ever, growing she would intimidate the shit of any girl who looked at me. And have had this dark period where people are concerned, but that's never not been, ...one day there was a knock, there was few things like this, other times, but this time, I was still doing my shit here, I open the door and she shoves the girl in my face like embraced. And she says "This needs for fucking happen!!" This is where I get why people don't believe

 

[Drunken Meat Fist]

 

[cade187]

If I can be real, I think you may need help you’re not getting currently. I’m not entirely sure if this is just a gimmick, but I feel like it isn’t. I’m worried that all the people that love your threads are enabling you. I think people on here are largely giving you the wrong kind of support. Most of your threads sound like a cry for help. Anyway, I’m just an outside observer, so I may be way off here, but that’s what it looks like to me. Not trying to attack you in any way; I’m sure you’re a stand up guy.

 

[Drunken Meat Fist]

that was you wouldnt help me with I was trying to articulate

 

[Drunken Meat Fist]

It was like the loss of eden, I know I say some stupid shit, but now I catch myself sometimes and you'll think I'm speaking in metaphors and not just talking, you know how fucking frustrating that is.

 

[Drunken Meat Fist]

When you're just talking and no one believes you or just playing along.

The point 2. is this clip. and before this clip for a hundred years, I just coined a term for me to deal with shit. It's cynical and I'm sure you can feel it. Iceberg people, maybe everyone is surface and what you see on top is all there is, that sucks. When you're just talking and you're thought to be a character. In the course of this evening I've said some dumb shit.

 

[Diktaattori]

Drunken Fist Mother is the only one I understand here