Dirty typos

[Fedorgasm]

Bros! I've been humiliated.

I just sent an IM to a female employee that said, "I need to see you when you have a sex"

Obviously I meant to write "sec" instead of "sex" but whoever invented the qwerty keyboard screwed me over by putting the c key next to the x key.

Fortunately, I did include the letter "a" right before, so it makes it more credible when I told her it was a typo. Unless I'm Italian of course.

Anyhoo, she laughed and seemed to believe me, so hopefully no rape charges are filed against me in 10 years.

Have you ever had an accidentally dirty typo? Share your story so I don't feel so alone...

 

[rj144]

When teaching the Doppler Shift I once forgot the f in shift.

 

[SFMMA]

I texted your mom "I'm gonna fuck you in the butte" when I really meant "I'm gonna buttfuck you in the butte." Silly me.

 

[HomeRun916]

Embarrassing but obviously a silly mistake.

 

[Phr3121]

Nice try. You meant exactly what you wrote, or at least your mind did. She laughed? Well, maybe there is more to this story...

 

[smooth assassin]

i once meant to send a girl that i work with, "Ill make sure i have it done today", instead i accidentally texted her, "I want to lick the crack of your ass"
damn spellcheck

 

[faustian]

I don't believe the story that it was a typo nor do I believe it was a female coworker

 

[GSP_37]

HR Dept and sexual harassment lawsuit incoming.

 

[loyalyolayal]

And girls keep laughing at me, asking why I need sec.

 

[Clear Winner]

Not rude, but I once typed "best retards" instead of best regards in an email to a client.

 

[Jim Cozad Jr.]

That’s actually a pretty good move imo...

 

[faustian]

Not rude, but I once typed "best retards" instead of best regards in an email to a client.

"best retards" really isn't that bad of a closing for a business email

 

[Ken Fresno]

As a black man, certain typos never look good at work.

1) Can't leave "g"s off the ends of words. "I'll be headin to the conference room in 5."

2) Can't mistype tense or pluralization. "We was heading to the conference room before he called."

3) Can't say "I knew these crackas would make me come in on MLK day"

 

[Clear Winner]

"best retards" really isn't that bad of a closing for a business email

Sounded like a mentally handicapped version of the Avengers or something. I laughed but felt bad.

 

[Fedorgasm]

Not rude, but I once typed "best retards" instead of best regards in an email to a client.

LOL at the possibilities.

Send my retards
You have my retards
I hold you in the highest retard

 

[Leonard Haid]

Michael "The Cunt" Bisping

 

[Zer]

If you're really lucky she's a social justice type and she's kinda between sexes right now

 

[Fedorgasm]

These are not typos, they are auto correct fails, but they are fucking hilarious:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bu...29-unintentionally-dirty-autocorrect-mistakes

 

[GearSolidMetal]

 

[mb23100]

I have a habit of sending the wrong text to the wrong person. Like it pops up as a notice and when you click on it it takes you to the last person YOU were texting. Told my mom to "fuck off" once. Also told a female coworker to make dinner for me once.