??? Deadbeat Parents' Mentality ???

[Uptown Swinger]

Do you know any deadbeat parents? Mothers?
Are you a deadbeat - why?
Was either of your parent's a deadbeat - why?
Do you have any deadbeat parent friends ?
\Why do they choose to not be a part of their child's life?

I will never be able to understand the mentality of a deadbeat parent. The same way I will never understand the mentality of a phile or Serial killer. I'm not comparing deadbeats to sickos or killers just acknowledging that different people think differently.

Deadbeat mother's are even more difficult to understand - because they are usually the more nurturing of the two parents. I have 2 male friends who have raised their children without the child's mother's involved. In both cases the mother has drug problems. In both cases my friends have told me how not having their mother around has made the kids sad The kids are now 16 and 18 btw. I do somewhat understand how drugs could have this type of affect on a person but how about deadbeat mother's who don't have a drug problem - do you know any?

Do you know any deadbeat parents? Mothers?
Are you a deadbeat - why?
Was either of your parent's a deadbeat - why?
Do you have any deadbeat parent friends ?
\Why do they choose to not be a part of their child's life?

 

[plataoplombo]

Step kid's dad is a colossal piece of shit. The guy is smart and apparently a good worker when he has a job, but just cannot get his shit together. Keeps making empty promises to his daughter and she believes him every single time. She's in her mid teens and I'm pretty sure she knows he won't come through for her, but she still hopes. Sad to see at times. Dude even told her once that he has to worry about his other kid, while my stepdaughter was asking for his help. The weird thing is that they look so much alike. On a side note, she acts a lot like him and I fear she'll be walking down a similar path as him. Genetics is a bitch sometimes.

 

[ShadBo]

Cereal killer, hey?

Captain Crunch better watch teh fcuk out.

 

[Eazy123]

A lady I work with's ex-husband pretty much abandoned their 3 kids (she has custody) to live the rock & roll life. Two of the kids wound up on drugs and are missing now, and I can see the third going the same route - her mom pulls her out of school for every little cough she has and just recently took her daughter on a 2-week vacation to Asia. Never mind that it's during the school year and the kid has finals next Tuesday, a day after they get back.

I just found out last week that it turned out the father decided to settle down and married another woman a couple years back, and when she had his baby and it had Down Syndrome, he took off again.

So both the mom AND dad are deadbeats. What kills me is the mom is a fucking idiot who has had everything handed to her all her life. She had those kids and doesn't care about them at all. So I'm a little torn on what's worse - the parent who doesn't lie and just abandons their kid, or the one who sticks around and acts like they give a shit but actually don't.

 

[HomeRun916]

Know a few.

Real pieces of shit. I get hard times, but if you can’t respect yourself enough to treat your own child with respect and dignity, you can go to hell, imo.

No kids for me, so not really fair to judge.

 

[ghoul]

My father didnt want to grow up and take responsibility so he left the country when i was 2ish.
Made some kinda effort to be in my life when i was in my teens but it didnt work.

Having a kid on my own made me realize what an absolute piece of shit a person must be to leave their child. So the guy’s dead to me.

 

[ShinkanPo]

My Father is a fucked up dead beat

 

[Uptown Swinger]

Cereal killer, hey?

Captain Crunch better watch teh fcuk out.

LOL - fixed -thanks.

 

[Kardashians]

When I was 16 I babysat these two brothers. 6 and 8 I think. They were really fucked up. And it was no wonder. Their father left the family to be with another woman, he popped some kids out with her and after that hardly acknowledged that he had two other kids. Their mother was a bitch. She partied almost every night (which is why I babysat), leave at like 8pm and not get home until 6am (rustled me every time bc she’d say she’d be home at 11 lmao I was an idiot to ever believe her). On nights she was home she’d have over her latest boyfriend and ignore the kids. When I was over there while she was home she just screamed at the kids for everything. The oldest would start crying and say he wants his father and wants to live with him. Then call him and his father would try to quickly brush him off to get off the phone. The kids were unwanted by both parents.

 

[SFMMA]

My dad rampantly cheated on my mom then left her with three young kids by herself while she was in law school so he could go drink whenever he wanted. I saw him once a year if I was lucky, and most of that was spent complaining about paying for things and also drinking.

 

[chardog]

My father didnt want to grow up and take responsibility so he left the country when i was 2ish.
Made some kinda effort to be in my life when i was in my teens but it didnt work.

Having a kid on my own made me realize what an absolute piece of shit a person must be to leave their child. So the guy’s dead to me.

He may or may not be a piece of shit, hard to sway without being in those shoes.

For one, fighting for custody can be an impossible war. Friend of mine, lost 3 kids, has minimal time with them. He pays most of his paltry income, and too worn out to fight the leech of a mother that has a degree and no desire to work since she'd lose out on the child support.

if I were in his shoes, leaving the country sounds pretty good.

hard to say how much of a fight your dad put up with, do you know? He's probably gone through a war and you may not know it.

My dad is mostly out of my life, but as an Adult, with a lot of kids of my own, I can start to understand his pain. He was in a HELL of a war against a huge warmonger, my mom, and he lost badly.

How do I know this? She's still bitter AF, and admittedly, he never cheated on her. She initiated divorce multiple times....

 

[revoltub]

Idk ive seen some ugly ass kids and some annoying ones. I could see myself leaving the kid to live a more fulfilling life away from some monster child.

 

[Darwinambrosius]

My mom dropped me off at my dad's office when I was a kid, and I'd never even met the guy. Never saw her or spoke to her again. It was a complete shit show.

My dad was and still is an amazing father, despite the bizarreness of the whole thing.

 

[Mike]

My background is weird. My dad was a paranoid schizophrenic. My mom had to grab me and run when I was a baby. Don't know anything about him, if he ever gave a shit or was a scumbag or not. All I know is he died from cancer when I was 8 or 9, and I have a half sister somewhere with a family of her own.


My mom tried.... for the first half. Eventually poverty and a hard life just beat her down. She changed drastically and never changed back. Around age 12 it seemed like she stopped giving a shit. By 15-16 she was verbally, mentally, and physically abusive. And neglectful. So basically I tried not to be around. When I was inevitably something would be my fault and I'd be screamed at or hit. She had my little brother when I was 18. At that point she let me know I certainly wasn't a priority anymore, and I'd better not get in the way of the new life she was building. That wasn't what I wanted though. I just wanted to be included and to have someone, anyone give a shit about me.


Letting go of the resentment is.... difficult. Because of my dad's background I'm predisposed to mental illness myself, and it kicked in hard once I hit puberty and entered my teens. First severe ocd, then social anxiety, and crippling depression. My mother had taken me out of school at the age of 12 to homeschool me and then... just forgot about me. So I spent my teens lost and confused and lonely and depressed. And worried about the future, since I knew by then not having an education was a big deal and nobody was preparing me in any way for adulthood.


I've worked hard over the years to right the ship, but I've had a hard life with few periods of happiness or comfort. And I've struggled for years to find a way to stop hating myself. Having no parents or shit parents basically dooms your children to a life filled with pain, struggle, and alienation from those around them. For that reason I'll never be able to respect someone that just abandons their kids. They need you, and when you're abusive or just leave they blame themselves and it can make people self destructive. After all even monsters had parents that loved them. How much of an unlovable piece of shit must you be, for your own parents to hate you?


I spent MANY years sullen and lonely and isolated. So lonely, but the hard outer shell I had to put up just to survive scared everyone away. To this day, despite how hard I've tried, I don't really like myself and I constantly sabotage myself because deep down I feel like I'm worthless and useless and don't deserve to be happy.



TLDR: Don't abandon your kids unless you want them to grow up to be a sad, useless, broken person.

 

[no fat chicks]

My background is weird. My dad was a paranoid schizophrenic. My mom had to grab me and run when I was a baby. Don't know anything about him, if he ever gave a shit or was a scumbag or not. All I know is he died from cancer when I was 8 or 9, and I have a half sister somewhere with a family of her own


My mom tried.... for the first half. Eventually poverty and a hard life just beat her down. She changed drastically and never changed back. Around age 12 it seemed like she stopped giving a shit. By 15-16 she was verbally, mentally, and physically abusive. And neglectful. So basically I tried not to be around. When I was inevitably something would be my fault and I'd be screamed at or hit. She had my little brother when I was 18. At that point she let me know I certainly wasn't a priority anymore, and I'd better not get in the way of the new life she was building. That wasn't what I wanted though. I just wanted to be included and to have someone, anyone give a shit about me.


Letting go of the resentment is.... difficult. Because of my dad's background I'm predisposed to mental illness myself, and it kicked in hard once I hit puberty and entered my teens. First severe ocd, then social anxiety, and crippling depression. My mother had taken me out of school at the age of 12 to homeschool me and then... just forgot about me. So I spent my teens lost and confused and lonely and depressed. And worried about the future, since I knew by then not having an education was a big deal and nobody was preparing me in any way for adulthood.


I've worked hard over the years to right the ship, but I've had a hard life with few periods of happiness or comfort. And I've struggled for years to find a way to stop hating myself. Having no parents or shit parents basically dooms your children to a life filled with pain, struggle, and alienation from those around them. For that reason I'll never be able to respect someone that just abandons their kids. They need you, and when you're abusive or just leave they blame themselves and it can make people self destructive. After all even monsters had parents that loved them. How much of an unlovable piece of shit must you be, for your own parents to hate you?


I spent MANY years sullen and lonely and isolated. So lonely, but the hard outer shell I had to put up just to survive scared everyone away. To this day, despite how hard I've tried, I don't really like myself and I constantly sabotage myself because deep down I feel like I'm worthless and useless and don't deserve to be happy.



TLDR: Don't abandon your kids unless you want them to grow up to be a sad, useless, broken person.

similar boat brother. My dad is either sociopathic or a narcissist. Not exactly sure his issue but hes a pretty big phoney and has let me down at every major juncture in life. He comes across as a nice enough guy but whenever push comes to shove is now where to be found. My gf wanted to give him a chance and thought I must have been the problem. 5 years later and she hates him more than I do. My mom through no fault of her own is a paranoid schizophrenic which kind of gave me huge trust issues since anything I would talk to her about would be misinterpreted as being part of some huge conspiracy and would be added to "they". Imagine being 14 saying your day was decent but so and so kinda irked you. The next week shes off her meds saying so and so is an evil monster and they molested you etc. so all these years later im a pretty emotionally unavailable person which puts a huge strain on my relationship.





TLDR: Dad is more or less absentee father only bringing me into his life when his new gfs parents are around and bragging about how he raised me to be so successful and mom has extreme paranoid schizophrenia. At least one doesnt mean to be shitty