Dangerous animals you think you could take?

[Jack Handy jr]

You've clearly given this a lot of thought Master Ken.

 

[Cyrano200]

I'd crush it! But only if cornered and after squealing like a small girl and flapping my hands uselessly in revulsion before and after.

 

[Jack Handy jr]

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I'd crush it! But only if cornered and after squealing like a small girl and flapping my hands uselessly in revulsion before and after.

kick it in the balls bro

 

[TheNinja]

Agree but in this case it's the other way around. Dude actually runs up to save his dog from the kangaroo.




And without the doctored ending:

That guy was a jerk. The roo and the dog were just hanging out. Dog needed a hug and the roo gave him one.

2 bros just chillin' in the Outback.

 

[ChickenBrother]

That guy was a jerk. The roo and the dog were just hanging out. Dog needed a hug and the roo gave him one.

2 bros just chillin' in the Outback.

View attachment 888690

Nah, the roo was getting funky with a bulldog choke. Herb Dean just wasn't around to jump in and the dog was too classy to complain about it.

 

[TheRealWill]

I think I can beat a chimp if my life depended on it, but I would likely be horribly disfigured so I wouldn't want to of course

You're half right. You would be horribly disfigured.

A human would have no chance vs a chimp.


If it was on land, I'm confident I could take a crocodile. Just get to their back and pin their mouth shut. They have no opening power. Then stuck some mud in his nostrils to choke him.

Im also pretty sure I could take a dog. Go with a high cross guard, and when it jumps up at you, knee it in the stomach, they have no protection there. Rinse and repeat. If he gets ahold of an arm or something, wrap your legs and other arm around it so it can't shake and rip your arm. Work for the RNC from there.

I carry a walking stick with a pointed end when I got hiking and I'm confident I could fend off all animals in my area with it. Black Bear and mountain lions being the most fierce.

 

[eighterumg5]

. They most def have venom. Everything taught to us was found out to be false. It’s not the bacteria in their saliva that fucks you up, it is in fact venom. https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/article/komodo-dragon-venom

one of the nastiest things I've seen was a time lapse of the venom on a nice piece of meat. The amount of damage it did in hours was shocking. I think 2 days and it pretty much dissolved into soup

 

[Jack Reacheround]

Has anyone said your mom yet?

If not, your mom.

 

[Old Man]

I think I can take on a giant otter.

They say giant otters can kill humans. They're part of the mustelid family (weasels) so that means they'll be tough sonuvabitches to fight. However, It'll bite me up injure me badly, but unless you have concussive force (like a bear), can shred someone up (like a tiger), or venom (like a Komodo dragon) you're gonna have to kill a human by biting the carotid. If I can manage to hold the damn thing down, I'm killing it, I don't care what anyone says.

I can choke or pummel it to death and there's nothing it can do about it.

You're going to be watching it devour your intestines:

 

[CaptHANDSUP]

I think I can take on a giant otter.

They say giant otters can kill humans. They're part of the mustelid family (weasels) so that means they'll be tough sonuvabitches to fight. However, It'll bite me up injure me badly, but unless you have concussive force (like a bear), can shred someone up (like a tiger), or venom (like a Komodo dragon) you're gonna have to kill a human by biting the carotid. If I can manage to hold the damn thing down, I'm killing it, I don't care what anyone says.

I can choke or pummel it to death and there's nothing it can do about it.

I think it's basically impossible to hold down and pound out quadrupedle animals because they can always hip-escape or shrimp out, no matter what.

 

[CaptHANDSUP]

Well I'm not gonna just let him rip my balls off, and even if he does testosterone still flows through your body for a while after and I'm not just gonna lay over and die because my balls are gone. The thing with chimps is there strength is wildly over exaggerated, they have poor stamina and no technique. Their main advantage is they're agression, teeth, nails, durability and they're very explosive for a short amount of time

But would you even consider that a victory on the off chance that you did succeed? You killed the chimp that ripped off your nuts? That's about as close to a draw as it gets bro

 

[Robocok]

I think I could take any dog except for a hyena.

 

[Robocok]

My moms friend owned a chimp.
He got rid of it after a week because it began to become confrontational and destroyed his apartment. It wasnt even triple digits in pounds and he could barely restrain it as a child ape. Fully grown, no fucking chance.

Chimp has a muzzle so no biting vs a ufc heavyweight. Who wins?

 

[CaptHANDSUP]

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I'd crush it! But only if cornered and after squealing like a small girl and flapping my hands uselessly in revulsion before and after.

No weapons (I.e. technological assisstance), so no shoes.

Boom, there. You can't even kill an animal that weighs a few grams.

 

[the ambush]

That’s a dingo bro

A pit terrier will stand in front of their owner as a shield. This dog was doing that.

 

[Gus Fring]

I’d destroy a kangaroo with an uppercut

 

[Badger67]

Chimp has a muzzle so no biting vs a ufc heavyweight. Who wins?

Likely chimp still.

 

[Alphaboy]

I was involved in a pitbull mauling a few years ago. I was out for a walk with my wife, and our 6-month old baby in his stroller. A middle-aged couple was walking ahead of us, maybe 50 feet or so away. Suddenly 5-6 pitbulls swarmed out of the nearest house and attacked the couple. Took them down to the ground, biting their heads & limbs. Blood everywhere. I told my wife to turn and walk (not run) away with the baby, then I ran into the frey and started kicking the dogs in the head, screaming at the top of my lungs, trying to scare them off. I kicked a few of them as hard as I could, right underneath the head and into the jaw.....it was like kicking a bowling ball. My foot hurt like hell for a week. Fortunately for me, the dogs' owners came out and called them away before the dogs really had a chance to turn against me. I think they were so fixated on the older couple that they didn't really register what I was. I got away fairly unscathed, but a few more seconds and it could have gone very differently.

In all honesty I owe that older couple a huge debt. If they hadn't been there, the dogs probably would have come after my family and baby. I don't even want to think about what could have happened then.

Shit, 5-6? That doesn't sound survivable!

That's some fuckin' negligence. Hopefully the guy lost the dogs.

 

[Alphaboy]

lol. this chimp accepts your challenge. nice knowing you..... to bad your about to be dead.

I think all that fur makes it hard to realize how damn muscular they are. Block the head for a second... Imagine grappling a guy that dense with muscle.

You're going to be watching it devour your intestines:

It'd have to incapacitate me first. The only way I can think of it doing that is maybe blood loss.

he gives you a big target.

Fun fact, a primate's balls are associated with how promiscuous (slutty) the female of their species are. Humans aren't the biggest, but we aren't the smallest either. We're somewhere in the middle of sexual promiscuity.

We have the biggest dicks of the primates though.

 

[Dream Evil]

Shit, 5-6? That doesn't sound survivable!

That's some fuckin' negligence. Hopefully the guy lost the dogs.

A few days passed between the attack, and when the police/township got the warrant to go in and look around the house. When they did, they only found 2 dogs. So obviously the guy had gotten rid of most of them somehow. He basically got off scot free, to my knowledge.

He still lives in that house, and nowadays it has much more robust fencing and "beware of dog" signs everywhere. But I still get nervous every time I walk past it.