Craziest sexual escapade stories?

I was out running one evening (it was daylight savings, so it was about 5 pm and dark) and this car pulls up beside me. Asian chick who asks me for directions to another city, and I was 'oh shit, that's far'. Then she does a sultry voice and asks if I want to hang out. I ask for clarity and she said she wanted to suck my cock.

I get in her car, which was a nice car, and she put her hand on her shorts and I pulled my dick out. I told her where to park and she sucked my dick.


Not something I've done, but if you walk around San Francisco downtown or Tenderloin area in the evening or night, chances are you'll be propositioned by sex. A crackhead woman in her 50s offered to suck my dick for $20 in the public library across from City Hall. She said she knew a private place.
 
Me and my ex had a threesome with a girl she had just met. It was normal until the lights were turned on. My ex had gone down on the girl not knowing that she had started her period some time during the debauchery.

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BayAreaGuy said:
I was out running one evening (it was daylight savings, so it was about 5 pm and dark) and this car pulls up beside me. Asian chick who asks me for directions to another city, and I was 'oh shit, that's far'. Then she does a sultry voice and asks if I want to hang out. I ask for clarity and she said she wanted to suck my cock.

I get in her car, which was a nice car, and she put her hand on her shorts and I pulled my dick out. I told her where to park and she sucked my dick.


Not something I've done, but if you walk around San Francisco downtown or Tenderloin area in the evening or night, chances are you'll be propositioned by sex. A crackhead woman in her 50s offered to suck my dick for $20 in the public library across from City Hall. She said she knew a private place.
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Insert "20 bucks is bucks" joke here
 
Football fan so of course got it on between the goal posts of a football field.
 
Err said:
Me and my ex had a threesome with a girl she had just met. It was normal until the lights were turned on. My ex had gone down on the girl not knowing that she had started her period some time during the debauchery.

giphy.gif
Click to expand...

Imagine finding out the morning after a drunken tent romp when camping and you walk past your cars rearview and you look like Joker...

Pretty sure it was a sign....
<{JustBleed}>
 
Was watching my drug dealer bud's house while he was out of the country. His girlfriend had a couple friends over. They were partying pretty hard and I got caught up in it as well. I was very drunk and very coked up and the goth one kept saying we were gonna fuck. I was pretty sure I was past that point as far as the coke so I went to the guest bedroom, locked the door and tried to crash. They kept banging on the door and yelling...I passed out. Some time later the door opens and the goth one walks in almost naked with fresh slashes all up her arms and gets on top and fucks my brains out crazy style, the whole while gouting blood all over me and the bed. Looked like a fucking crime scene the next morning. She was gone when I woke up, bonus. Never saw her again.

The one that got away?
<{1-11}>

























<{cruzshake}>


No no
 
Thrawn33 said:
Imagine finding out the morning after a drunken tent romp when camping and you walk past your cars rearview and you look like Joker...

Pretty sure it was a sign....
<{JustBleed}>
Click to expand...
There’s nothing quite like the feeling of clarity and disgust after debasing oneself.
 
Haha, pretty funny story. One time, I posted on craigslist that I was looking for a hot chick to blow a married guy (me). Someone responded saying that she gave the best head at her glory hole. We didn't exchange pictures or anything, since it was a gloryhole, just a pic of my dick, and she liked it. Anyways, I show up to her apartment, and walk inside. There is a sheet hanging from the door frame to her bedroom with a hole that says insert here, so I do so. After about 30 seconds of suspense building, these amazing lips take my throbbing meat. I didn't climax, but after about 15 second, the pleasure is too much. I begin to shake a little, which in turn caused the sheet to unfasten from the door frame, falling.

The lights were off mind you, but I could still make out the outlines of a face. Not a woman's face, but a dude's! I was so shocked at first, that I was about to hammer fist him, since I ain't gay or nothing. But then a gentle breeze blew the bedroom's window curtain, just enough to let in the moonlight, illuminating the face of none other than my cousin. We quickly avoided eye contact, but just stood there. After a few minutes of contemplation, we must of both reached the same conclusion, because he finished the job. We did not make eye contact the rest of the time, so it wasn't gay or incestuous or anything, but we both never said anything, and I left quickly after climaxing.

I see him at some family get togethers, I even grilled him a burger a few weeks ago. I don't think he has blown me since, but you never know
 
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cottagecheesefan said:
Haha, pretty funny story. One time, I posted on craigslist that I was looking for a hot chick to blow a married guy (me). Someone responded saying that she gave the best head at her glory hole. We didn't exchange pictures or anything, since it wa gloryhole, just a pic of my dick, and she liked it. Anyways, I show up to her apartment, and walk inside. There is a sheet hanging from the door frame to her bedroom with a hole that says inset here, so I do so. After about 30 seconds of suspense building, these amazing lips take my throbbing meat. I didn't climax, but after about 15 second, the pleasure is too much. I begin to shake a little, which in turn caused the sheet to unfasten from the door frame, falling.

The lights were off mind you, but I could still make out the outlines of a face. Not a woman's face, but a dude's! I was so shocked at first, that I was about to hammer fist him, since I ain't gay or nothing. But then a gentle breeze blew the bedroom curtain just enough to let in the moonlight, illuminating the face of none other than my cousin. We quickly avoided eye contact, but just stood there. After a few minutes of contemplation, we must of both reached the same conclusion, because he finished the job. We did not make eye contact the rest of the time, so it wasn't gay or incestuous or anything, but we both never said anything, and I left quickly after climaxing.

I see him at some family get togethers, I even grilled him a burger a few weeks ago. I don't think he has blown me since, but you never know
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<Fedor23>
 
Caught some thai guy jerking it behind a tree to me and this girl having sex on the beach. I thought it was funny. Girl was not amused.
 
Oh shit that reminds me. My buddy and I were stuck up at Salisbury beach with no accommodations and pretty drunk so wet decide we'll try to chill on the beach for a while, get stoned and drive home when a bit more sober. We're there a couple hours, smoking and enjoying the atmosphere, fucking around on lifeguard towers and shit and we hear screaming from down the beach. Blood curdling, "I'm getting murdered" type shit. So we look at each other and both take off in that direction thinking we're about to save the day...only to find some couple doing what comes naturally. Props to that guy.
 
Went to college in Hawaii and dated a girl from Washington. We broke up when she had to move back home junior year. She came back to visit me and friends later that year, stayed at my apartment. She went out with her friends one night while I was out with mine, then went back to my place to sleep. Whilst out with my teammates I met a local girl in Chinatown and had sex with her in the parking lot of the club on the hood of a truck.

Then as I was leaving the club a cheerleader from my school pulled me into a cab and we went back to her apartment in the Ala Moana region and made relations.

I then walked back to my apartment for about 2 hours and made sweet love to my ex around 7 am.

giphy.gif
 
cottagecheesefan said:
Haha, pretty funny story. One time, I posted on craigslist that I was looking for a hot chick to blow a married guy (me). Someone responded saying that she gave the best head at her glory hole. We didn't exchange pictures or anything, since it was a gloryhole, just a pic of my dick, and she liked it. Anyways, I show up to her apartment, and walk inside. There is a sheet hanging from the door frame to her bedroom with a hole that says inset here, so I do so. After about 30 seconds of suspense building, these amazing lips take my throbbing meat. I didn't climax, but after about 15 second, the pleasure is too much. I begin to shake a little, which in turn caused the sheet to unfasten from the door frame, falling.

The lights were off mind you, but I could still make out the outlines of a face. Not a woman's face, but a dude's! I was so shocked at first, that I was about to hammer fist him, since I ain't gay or nothing. But then a gentle breeze blew the bedroom curtain just enough to let in the moonlight, illuminating the face of none other than my cousin. We quickly avoided eye contact, but just stood there. After a few minutes of contemplation, we must of both reached the same conclusion, because he finished the job. We did not make eye contact the rest of the time, so it wasn't gay or incestuous or anything, but we both never said anything, and I left quickly after climaxing.

I see him at some family get togethers, I even grilled him a burger a few weeks ago. I don't think he has blown me since, but you never know
Click to expand...

Danielle Steele and E.L. James have nothing on you.
 
My wife and I for some reason decided to watch Lars Von Something’s Antichrist in bed in the dark. I couldn’t be bothered to watch the whole movie and fell asleep half way through. After it finished, my wife shook me to turn off the computer I think.

In a stroke of genius as I awoke from my stupor, I turned to her with blank eyes and said in an unnaturally deep voice “Chaos Reigns!”

That scared the fuck out of her and she would no longer have sex with me that night.
 
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