Chemotherapy vs. Hospice

[Chesten_Hesten]

Which one would you choose? Which one would you choose for a loved one? I'm in this situation right now where I gotta pick between the two.

My Father was in this situation a few years back. he was 86, tripped and broke his hip.

They took him to a mediocre hospital, where they just fucked around with him until he'd been immobile for long enough for things to start going south.

Their solution was to send him to Hospice.

I asked him what he wanted to do and he said fuck these guys, I wanna get out of here and go home.

Next couple days the Hospital called and said they were sending him to Hospice. Doctor even said my father had signed the papers for the transfer the night before.

When I went to the Hospital and asked my Father, he wasn't aware of signing nothing, so I called that fucking Doctor into the room and asked my Dad right in front of him if he wanted to goto Hospice, and he said fuck no, that's where they send you to die.

Long story short they transferred him to some other section, then to a nursing home in another town.

By the next day we got a call from another Hospital saying he was there and they were treating him for sepsis.

He lost consciousness that night and passed the next morning.

Had he not already been 86, weak from being a smoker since nine years old I'd have been so pissed.

But overall he lived a good like and got some tail along the way:

We found these pics after his death, dude was a Fuckster in his Navy Days.

The lesson I got out of all of it, is that I'd don't want to go like that, stuck in a Hospital bed at the mercy of a bunch of potential dickheads. Try to stay healthy as you can for as long as possible so maybe you'll just go Kaput instead of slowly rusting away.



Whatever happens Man, try to celebrate her life and let her know she's loved while you still have her here.

 

[Carl Sonnen]

My mom just passed before the new year and it was a similar situation where choices had to be made. I ended up putting my mom on hospice care on the advice of the doctor at the hospital who said he would put his mother on comfort/hospice care if that was the choice. I wish I had been offered more choices, but I am not sure they would have worked. I am really hurt over the situation. The nursing home sucks and I feel they neglected her also. I am trying to get a lawyer, but I am upset and I am in constant, high level pain myself from old inuries.

My uncle died a few years ago after undergoing chemotherapy in his 60s. He was a lifelong smoker and drinker. He died after a year or so and the medical bills where high. I have read that the chances of chemo actually working are less than it not. I have read that cannabis oil in high doses has worked supposedly, but I don't know the specifics.

One caution about comfort care - that is just lots of opiates and for some people, they make you feel shitty. I have chronic pain and have been on them in the past and they make me feel awful. I will die early because of the pain and side effects of meds, etc. I fear having to go back on pain meds again and I fight to not take them. My mother had a hard time communicating at the end, but she did communicate that she didn't like the morphine and we had to find a pain killer that caused less side effects, but watching her die slowly was awful and I will likely never really recover. It took her from just before Thanksgiving til the end of the year. I will never look at the holiday season the same again. Your situation seems like she is too frail to do anything but put her on comfort care. From my personal experience with opiates, I like the natural ones over synthetics - less side effects for me anyway. The hospice care is just some people that come to counsel and help a little, but they didn't really do much. Hope this helps.

 

[Lubaolong]

What kind of cancer does she have?

 

[RerouteToRemain]

Which one would you choose? Which one would you choose for a loved one? I'm in this situation right now where I gotta pick between the two.

Dude I'm sorry to hear your situation and wish you the best over the following weeks/months.

Well I would take a serious objective look at her situation(I understand this is difficult). Talk to the doctors(including a second or maybe even 3rd opinion, research the best places in NV) and ask for a no bs answer.

If it is extremely unlikely she has a chance then if it were me I would want to die living and not live dying if that makes sense. Try to stay comfortable and do a few last things.

Definitely try the Marijuana and other things like you said. It without a doubt helps some people.

 

[WorldofWarcraft]

What kind of cancer does she have?

Rectal cancer that spread to her liver and lung, though small ones

 

[HI SCOTT NEWMAN]

very sorry to hear about your mom. I'm unsure about Chemo/Hospice, I don't want to give wrong advice.. but I'm sending your mom healing thoughts and positive vibes. Lots and lots and lots of positive healing energy for your mom <3 .

 

[TeTe]

I took chemo five days a week for six months and radiation for one day a week for six months. It sucks, but I survived.

The answer to your question depends on the severity of the case and the will of the patient.

Chemo five days a week? Jesus, I'm surprised that didn't kill you.

I took chemo once a week for six months and it fucked me up.

 

[Thanos]

if you want to die, do both

if you want to live, do neither

 

[WorldofWarcraft]

I'm thinking of taking her to another hospital for a 2nd opinion. I wasn't too impressed with the one we went to.

 

[mjmj]

As mentioned, it just depends on the situation. Plenty of people survive cancer these days, but it depends greatly on the type and when it’s found. There are also some “experimental” treatments where people have beaten it despite a stage 4 diagnosis. But on the flip side, sometimes all treatment can do is prolong the inevitable. A very good friend of mine was recently diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, that has also spread to his brain and shoulder. It may be elsewhere, but he didn’t feel the need for any more tests. Dr told him he had anywhere from 4 months to a year left, depending on chemo and surgery. He said fuck that, I’m going home.

And that’s it. As hard as it is to watch a very good friend deteriorate so quickly, this is the way he wants it. And I’m not sure I blame him.

 

[BisexualMMA]

Hope things go as well as they can for your mother, whichever route is chosen.

 

[BisexualMMA]

My Father was in this situation a few years back. he was 86, tripped and broke his hip.

They took him to a mediocre hospital, where they just fucked around with him until he'd been immobile for long enough for things to start going south.

Their solution was to send him to Hospice.

I asked him what he wanted to do and he said fuck these guys, I wanna get out of here and go home.

Next couple days the Hospital called and said they were sending him to Hospice. Doctor even said my father had signed the papers for the transfer the night before.

When I went to the Hospital and asked my Father, he wasn't aware of signing nothing, so I called that fucking Doctor into the room and asked my Dad right in front of him if he wanted to goto Hospice, and he said fuck no, that's where they send you to die.

Long story short they transferred him to some other section, then to a nursing home in another town.

By the next day we got a call from another Hospital saying he was there and they were treating him for sepsis.

He lost consciousness that night and passed the next morning.

Had he not already been 86, weak from being a smoker since nine years old I'd have been so pissed.

But overall he lived a good like and got some tail along the way:

We found these pics after his death, dude was a Fuckster in his Navy Days.

The lesson I got out of all of it, is that I'd don't want to go like that, stuck in a Hospital bed at the mercy of a bunch of potential dickheads. Try to stay healthy as you can for as long as possible so maybe you'll just go Kaput instead of slowly rusting away.



Whatever happens Man, try to celebrate her life and let her know she's loved while you still have her here.

I saw these pics and immediately recalled having seen you post them in another thread a long time ago. You're the "Dad had a good eye" Sherdogger. Some of these ladies could hold their own in a @pcptornado thread.

 

[Phlog]

Which one would you choose? Which one would you choose for a loved one? I'm in this situation right now where I gotta pick between the two.

I would always choose life.

 

[Chesten_Hesten]

I saw these pics and immediately recalled having seen you post them in another thread a long time ago. You're the "Dad had a good eye" Sherdogger. Some of these ladies could hold their own in a @pcptornado thread.

Maybe it's the Black n White Image? Something about all those WWII pics; like old Hollywood.

 

[Chesten_Hesten]

I'm thinking of taking her to another hospital for a 2nd opinion. I wasn't too impressed with the one we went to.

Doctors and hospitals are like mechanic shops.

Not always easy to find a good one.

problem is you don't need them tell you need them, then you're behind the 8 ball.

 

[tru3f4n]

do you want to die suffering (chemo)
or
do you want to die with less suffering (hospice)

and for you idiots that think chemo=fighting to live and better...you're ignorant and stupid and shouldn't be giving advice.

http://www.aahpm.org/apps/blog/?p=821
http://www.nhpco.org/press-room/research-shows-patients-may-live-longer-hospice-and-palliative-care

My aunt had to get a double mastectomy and do chemo she's is still alive but you think she should've just said fuck it and be like I die when I die but atleast I don't have to worry about feeling like shit with chemo.

 

[drstrangelov]

Depends on age and severity of disease. Many cancers are still understood to be terminal from diagnosis, with standard treatment just there to extend time to disease progression or death. I'm not saying that extra time isnt valuable, he'll I'd give anything for a chance to say some last words to my brother, who was in a coma within hours of his diagnosis and never woke up, but only that it's a complex moral and practical decision to determine if you keep fighting or let Her go in comfort. But, you know that all too well I'm sure.

Your doctors should be able to give you an honest assessment of the likelihood of benefit from further treatment. It's gonna be hard either way, unfortunately, but the best thing you can do for everybody involved is to face the reality of it head on and make your decision with that in mind. It's really fucking terrible and I'm sorry you need to go through it.

 

[boingyman]

I'm sorry to here the bad news. As others mentioned it really depends on a number of factors. Type of cancer, stage/severity, survival rate, age, other comorbidities, quality of life, curable vs palliative, etc. I think for most that are still living at least a decent quality of life and not of advanced age that chemo would be the better choice assuming the cancer has a good chance of being cured. Now if you're talking palliative treatment to extend life, then it would depend on factors mentioned above and estimated life expectancy between treatment vs none.

Your mom's oncologist should have an honest transparent talk with your mom/family if that has not already happened. Will she need surgery/resection too?

 

[SammyPops]

@WorldofWarcraft are you asking b/c of your mom's issue?

fuck hope not.

 

[equus]

I've never known anyone that has survived chemo. I'm not taking that shit.

i know 3. 2 are in my immediate family and all 3 are alive 10 or more years later.