Can we get this toilet seat issue correct?

[emefer]

So like any guy, I like to sit down to drain the dragon when I've been drinking. I just went to dump a massive load of urine and I damn near fell into the toilet. Thankfully I realized what was happening and, because of my cat like reflexes, I caught myself before getting my dupa wet, but, as I stood there half crouched, I reached back to lower the seat, which bounced off of my dangling nuts causing great pain and now my urine is slightly red because, I assume, bloody ruptured testicals. What the fuck is wrong with my girlfriend and leaving the toilet seat up?

 

[closequarters]

Like any guy? I don’t think so dude.

 

[Zer]

So like any guy, I like to sit down to drain the dragon when I've been drinking. So I just went to dump a massive load of urine and I damn near fell into the toilet. Thankfully I realized what was happening because of my cat like reflexes and I caught myself before getting my dupa wet, but as I stood there half crouched, I reached back to lower the seat which bounced off of my dangling nuts causing great pain and now my urine is slightly red because I assume bloody ruptured testicals. What the fuck is wrong with my girlfriend and leaving the toilet seat up?

Don't blame her bro. She probably had some guy around

 

[Michaelangelo]

the only way to fix this is to do it again

 

[koolinkunming]

You must be a girl......or served time.

 

[esum80]

sit down to pee.

 

[LMP]

If you weren't being a bitch, you'd never realize you girl thinks your penis is unsatisfactory and had to cheat. Sorry bro. Hope you get an iPad out of the deal.

 

[Kardashians]

I need to pee but
Here I am procrastinating

 

[emefer]

Don't blame her bro. She probably had some guy around

No, it's not like that. She has a huge clit that hangs half way down to her knees and if she sits on the toilet it gets damp so she has to squat ontop of the bowl.

 

[emefer]

sit down to pee.

You've done it. Be proud.

 

[emefer]

If you weren't being a bitch, you'd never realize you girl thinks your penis is unsatisfactory and had to cheat. Sorry bro. Hope you get an iPad out of the deal.

I did. A pro.

 

[esum80]

You've done it. Be proud.

only when i need to take a shit as well. otherwise, i am THAT guy when drunk that pisses all over the seat, bowl, toilet paper, etc...missing like a stormtrooper that would make vader proud.

 

[EJAXXX]

This is what happens when nobody shows you how to take a real piss as a kid.

 

[emefer]

This is what happens when nobody shows you how to take a real piss as a kid.

My mommy showed me how. Shows what you know.

 

[mb23100]

So like any guy, I like to sit down to drain the dragon when I've been drinking

 

[Jack Reacheround]

Like any guy? I don’t think so dude.

Yeah, wtf?

 

[emefer]

Yes, that is the face I make when I am sitting down and peeing.

 

[spin]

You don't have a girlfriend

 

[j123]

You guys are using the toilet wrong

 

[closequarters]

Yeah, wtf?