Body Dismorphia

[ClubFoot]

Just a thought, I know this is quite popular amongst women but do any of the guys suffer from this too?

I used to be around 76kg at 21 yo, then got beat up pretty bad by 6 guys. I then started BJJ, MMA and MT as well as hitting the gym. I'm now 35 and still lift heavy weights - as you may know from previous posts I was into my roids before a huge roid rage incident recently.

Anyway, at 35 I'm now approx 118kg with under 10% bf, plus I'm 6'2 - 6'3.

But when I look at myself I still see the skinny guy I was before I started the weights. Sure I see some gains but I do not see myself as others see me. Some people call me a unit or a monster - my brain tells me I'm strong from the weights I'm lifting but physically I find my quite repugnant but I dare not miss a days weight training as I think I'd feel worse having a 'dad bod'.

I'm just wondering if there are many others like me out there or is everyone satisfied with their physical attributes? I wish I was.

Just bored and thought I'd throw it out there - my friend tells me I have a bad case of body dismorphia.

Anyone else? I'd love to be content but it always seems out of reach.

 

[Swoliosis]

Everyone says I look like a little tank but I still see myself as a twig

 

[ClubFoot]

Everyone says I look like a little tank but I still see myself as a twig

Ah, so there are more people out there like me. I thought I was being a bit of an oddball.

Even though my arms don't fit into regular shirts or jackets I still feel like a 'twig'. It's a real head f*ck.

 

[Taboo]

I know exactly what you mean im 6ft 72kg and i think im massive and ripped.

 

[Swoliosis]

I know exactly what you mean im 6ft 72kg and i think im massive and ripped.

I see dudes like this at the gym who also suffer from invisible lat syndrome

 

[ClubFoot]

I know exactly what you mean im 6ft 72kg and i think im massive and ripped.

The funny thing is about that, I thought exactly the same when I was 21. I was happier then.

 

[Darwinambrosius]

Stopped reading at "huge roid rage incident." Don't blame them.

 

[ClubFoot]

Stopped reading at "huge roid rage incident." Don't blame them.

I never thought I'd be one of those guys but Jesus, when the red mist set in that was it.

I'll never touch them again.

 

[AgentSmecker]

I think it's a fairly safe bet that a large majority of bodybuilders suffer from body dysmorphic disorder especially the ones banging the gear. I fell victim to that mindset for quite a long time myself. Just as there is huge societal pressure on woman to be skinny there is as much pressure on dudes to be all buff and ripped. It's all bs of course but in this age of narcissism it's not easy to step outside it and say fuck all that shit.

 

[Kardashians]

i've had people tell me that they think i have it :/
i have pretty bad body issues anyway, i know that much, and has been ongoing thing for 12 years now
think ive ruined my body at this point, and it sucks ):

 

[JAEGERX]

Reading your story i think im on the same boat, i was skinny most of highschool, im now at 90kg bodyweight, i started lifting many years ago to become stronger and put on weight and even if i gain some i still look in the mirror and see myself skinny, anyway i love lifting so its cool

I used to be around 76kg at 21 yo, then got beat up pretty bad by 6 guys

Edit: quick question tho, why did those guys kicked your ass?

 

[Phlog]

I would feel that way if I didn't work as a doorman, play gridiron as a DE and kickbox. All those activities really drive it home how big and imposing I am.

Sure I don't always see the gains in the mirror but I get glimpses and that's enough to work it out. I guess it's only really the last few years (now 36) that I've started to feel like I'm in my skin.

What motivates me is everytime I don't beat a block or when I tussle with someone who's strong.

Seeing as you've likely had similar verification I'd say you sound like that is an issue for you. Bad news is it's very hard to treat.

 

[BearGrounds]

Don't skip brain day.

I was born with Bones Jones type chicken legs. Had to hear lots of jokes over the years from teammates (until it was time to cut weight wrestling, of course ). Even had a GF that used to break my balls about them, with that "aww they're soo little" shit lol.

I could bounce around on those strength shoes and do calf exercises for days, it doesn't matter; I'll forever have Antelope legs. I just stopped worrying about it after a while and kept blowing passed dudes on the track. Just can't skip brain day and eventually you'll train that shit out buddy. Good luck.

 

[Mike]

Stopped reading at "huge roid rage incident." Don't blame them.

Huh? Roid rage is a real thing. Acknowledging that doesn't remove all responsibility.

 

[ClubFoot]

Reading your story i think im on the same boat, i was skinny most of highschool, im now at 90kg bodyweight, i started lifting many years ago to become stronger and put on weight and even if i gain some i still look in the mirror and see myself skinny, anyway i love lifting so its cool



Edit: quick question tho, why did those guys kicked your ass?

8 random guys started trouble for me and a friend. 6 of them took me down and used my head as a football while one picked up my friend while the other one beat the shit out of him.

Just assholes looking for a fight.

 

[RollSonnenRoll]

Yeah somewhat. I remember when I first got into lifting I was a scrawny 155 lb 18 year old kid. I remember looking at guys like Rich Franklin or Chael and thinking 185 was the perfect size. Fast forward 8 years of on and off lifting and sure enough I'm 186 lbs, lifting the heaviest I ever have and in the best shape of my life. I still feel like when I started and to me those guys still look massive.

 

[Ibis]

BRB, going to look up metric to 'Merica conversions.

 

[ClubFoot]

Soon after the weight training and BJJ etc I took a job as a doorman and handled myself just fine.

It was just a defining moment in my life. My friend who is a psychologist said the reason I weight train to become more physically imposing, shave my head and have numerous tattoos is a way to deter anyone from ever causing trouble with me again.

To be fair to her, she's right - no one has ever tried to cause any trouble with me since.

Rather the opposite, as I'm a 'gentle giant' really and would never cause trouble but I guess I just deter it anyway now.

 

[ClubFoot]

But I still see myself as an underdeveloped guy.

 

[Stargazer Rex]

I know what you mean, TS. I have a 9 incher but I just can't get over the fact that I'm not in the double digits. Fuck my life