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I'm not even sure if this is allowed or against the rules, but the anonymity of this forum makes it much easier to take about things I'm positive some, if not many, fellow grapplers struggle with.
Since November, my wife of 16 years went on anti depressants , and within weeks, fell out of love with me and desperately wanted a divorce. She had a brief affair (mostly online) and broke it off and I forgave her, and I spent the next 6 months or so trying to "fix" things with her. I tried my absolute best.
In April she finally moved out with her niece. I even helped her cosign for an apartment since she has 0 credit history. I even let her keep my car until she finds one and helped buy some furniture for her etc.
A week after she moved out, I found out she's restarted thr affair with the same guy almost 6 months ago. She only left him for less than a month. I found all the videos they left for each other, and even found out a weekend trip I got her with her 2 girlfriends, she met him there and he was with them the whole time, sleeping in room I paid for.
At any rate, she's been out of the house foe 2 months and divorce is with judge to sign off on. The point of this thread is that while I've always suffered from clinical depressions, I've been taken Wellbutrin for years and unlike more traditional SSRIs , gave me no side effects and I've been feeling better for years. Consistent training in BJJ without breaks for 8 years sure helped too.
But.... for 2 months now.... I stopped Going. I train at Legion in San Diego (super competitive gym) run by Keenan.
I'm a black belt. Which makes it so much harder to just waltz in after 2 months of bring in bed or on couch deeply depressed (it came back more than ever now). As a bb, if I walk in now in the mental and physical state I'm in, a white belt at this academy will kill me. It makes it harder to get back.
I stopped taking my 10 year old too, and he's done it for 3 years. We used to share that common bond together, but being out for ao long, he says he doesn't want to do it anymore .
I'm at the cusp of quitting too. After 8 long hard years of consistently training 3-5 times a week, I'm at the cusp of calling it quits.
I dont know how get back up to where I was before my wife left , and not only that, I dont know how long this pain and depression over being abandoned and so openly cheated on all this time without knowing, after 16 years of marriage, will last. It's almost impossible to do something like BJJ with such severe depression.
Anyone else go thru divorce , an affair, or anything thay caused you long term and severe depression? I didn't even get to say goodbye to my true , loving, sweet wife I knew for 16 years, since the antidepressant killed that person and replaced her with this cruel, cold, selfish monster .
I hope this isn't against the forum rules. But it would he nice to hear others share their similar stories and how and when they overcame it.
Thank you for reading
Since November, my wife of 16 years went on anti depressants , and within weeks, fell out of love with me and desperately wanted a divorce. She had a brief affair (mostly online) and broke it off and I forgave her, and I spent the next 6 months or so trying to "fix" things with her. I tried my absolute best.
In April she finally moved out with her niece. I even helped her cosign for an apartment since she has 0 credit history. I even let her keep my car until she finds one and helped buy some furniture for her etc.
A week after she moved out, I found out she's restarted thr affair with the same guy almost 6 months ago. She only left him for less than a month. I found all the videos they left for each other, and even found out a weekend trip I got her with her 2 girlfriends, she met him there and he was with them the whole time, sleeping in room I paid for.
At any rate, she's been out of the house foe 2 months and divorce is with judge to sign off on. The point of this thread is that while I've always suffered from clinical depressions, I've been taken Wellbutrin for years and unlike more traditional SSRIs , gave me no side effects and I've been feeling better for years. Consistent training in BJJ without breaks for 8 years sure helped too.
But.... for 2 months now.... I stopped Going. I train at Legion in San Diego (super competitive gym) run by Keenan.
I'm a black belt. Which makes it so much harder to just waltz in after 2 months of bring in bed or on couch deeply depressed (it came back more than ever now). As a bb, if I walk in now in the mental and physical state I'm in, a white belt at this academy will kill me. It makes it harder to get back.
I stopped taking my 10 year old too, and he's done it for 3 years. We used to share that common bond together, but being out for ao long, he says he doesn't want to do it anymore .
I'm at the cusp of quitting too. After 8 long hard years of consistently training 3-5 times a week, I'm at the cusp of calling it quits.
I dont know how get back up to where I was before my wife left , and not only that, I dont know how long this pain and depression over being abandoned and so openly cheated on all this time without knowing, after 16 years of marriage, will last. It's almost impossible to do something like BJJ with such severe depression.
Anyone else go thru divorce , an affair, or anything thay caused you long term and severe depression? I didn't even get to say goodbye to my true , loving, sweet wife I knew for 16 years, since the antidepressant killed that person and replaced her with this cruel, cold, selfish monster .
I hope this isn't against the forum rules. But it would he nice to hear others share their similar stories and how and when they overcame it.
Thank you for reading