Social Be honest, how hot are you?


If even 10% of the shit that I've seen you write over the years is even remotely true, you have lived a hell of an interesting life.
 
Drunken Meat Fist said:
See that's the attitude. What the fuck is wrong with being bald, and it's not like you gotta choice in the matter. I was married to a hairdresser so I always got the cuts, but everyone alive I was an 80's rockstar, not with the Bret Michaels fa ggy shit, just long hair, never knew better. I played shit drums in a garage band. I still fuck around but I was never really any good. There came the fateful day whenever it was with the grunge, I think I cut my shit off a few months before James Hetfield. I've always liked James Hetfield, I think we look about the same if you squint, different tattoos and I keep the Shaggy chin stubble and amputate the moustache when I can taste the jelly. I'm about 210, but should be 185. I almost died in the hospital of sepsis, Tachy is the one who called my ambulance, from fucking Arizona, we were talking and I said no matter how much I rub my eye I can't see brother.. I spent two weeks in the emergency room and the enitre summer in the hospital. They were gonna amputate my leg, I almost lost my foot and my left hand. I was dropping weight so fast, my legs were like twigs. I went in probably 220 and came out 183. I didn't have any fat at all. You don't choose what you look like when you're in an ambulance, or your underwear. I looked like a fucking caveman, bushy hair, massive beard. One of the young nurses said, we used to have a lady who cut hair, I could call her if you want. So she trimmed me down to nothing and the nurses walked by me, no clue. Without belaboring the point, I've never been able to sleep so the night nurses let my wheel my wheelchair out and sit at their table when everyone was asleep. All they had were women's magazines, so whatever I was looking at, I came to the little cardboard piece of shit and ripped it out. I folded it into a paper frog and flicked it at one of the nurses and it landed right between her huge tits.

The wife was cutting my hair one day and said, you will never go bald. I've shave my head bald a few times. I used to play marbles with the neighbor kid and let the give me haircut or whatever for a few days, and then shave it bald. it's hair who gives a shit.
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Wow, brutal. How did you get sepsis?
 
Better than most but Im a social retard so its all for nothing.
 
I’m not going to help you figure out whether or not you should jack off to me.








But you probably should.
 
I know I've posted this before. But there was a little girl in the trailer court who thought I was the most interesting man alive. I would sit on my porch reading a book and she would just come by and take my hat off and put it on her head. She would knock on my door with a paper plate with a couple pieces of pizza, I don't think you've been eating. I want you to eat this in front of me. One day she says, guess my Halloween costume. I marinated....you're gonna be a lady bug. Knock on the door, she says hang I need to get on the stump, fullblown batman and she stars hissing. I was in dark days and this little girl was on a mission to cheer me up. I was talking to her mom one day on their porch, and the sky went black on a dime, one of those moments where you think God might really take out the world. Surreal, the sky was the sky and then, I shit you not, I ran off the porch to my place and I was torrential drenched to the bone, I can't convey how scary shit got out of nowhere. There was a huge crash. Power is out, snap crackle pop, and then there's a frantic pounding on the door. The gigantic lodgepole pine in my yard that got uprooted and it looked like it crushed my bedroom, it was on the news, a newscrew was in my yard.
This little girl grabbed my leg and was hysterically crying, out of her mind I have maudlin tendencies but shit slices through. I thought you were dead, I thought you were dead. ...I heard something crash and shake the ground, but didn't see the tree til she pointed it out. It looked like my bedroom was demolished, but it was just covered in branches. A few weeks later I'm reading on the porch, and she comes up and says what are you listening to. I had an old walkman on my head, but wasn't listening to it. I rewound it a little bit and put the headphones on her. She said, this is the greatest song I've ever heard! "Aw oooh, ....,she'll rip your lungs out Jim!" as long as I knew her, she was always singing it. In all my life I've only known one person who just in the handshake and way we sat down, I knew was a genius. And I've met two magical people. This little girl was from another planet. In the midst of dark days to get tackled from behind by a little kid, or have snowballs cracking against your walls at any given time. The little kid thought I was the shit, for reasons I will never understand. Years ago, she's probably twenty now. The last memory I have of her, she burst in and flopped down on over on the couch, said we are watching. She said my mom lets me smoke pot now, she doesn't let me she just doesn't care. You just put your hand over your forehead and close your eyes, she was talking about cutting and shit. The thought of something happening or her not walking the earth as young woman getting the world she deserves. I don't think about that shit too much.
 
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You're here, vipassana, you have the time, you should really stop and watch it.

 
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And unless you care to stare into a joker green toilet for three minutes in absolute Allen Funt level confusion I suggest you don't buy the new lucky charms.
 
As I see the box beside my foot, it says, Limited Edition Galactic Lucky Charms. It's says I have chance to win a trip to space camp. It's a sick fucking world. ...by the same token, if I'm the guy in charge of the hair dye at the moment.
 
You wanna see nine middle age women shaken their ass in formation.
 
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