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I am typically docile in nature, but your recent posting has served only to awaken a sleeping giant and fill him with a terrible resolve.
I mean to remind you that extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.
I am here to collect it.
I am particularly keen to obtain verification of the following statements:
Made by the following entity:
I am not the first to make such an exhortation.
Verily several others have been of the same mind, and thus far the only response has been:
Tell me, for what purpose will you require such time?
Simply pick up your camera, record the exercise, and post it.
If you haven't a camera, I suggest you struggle to your feet, catch your breath, then climb onto your hoveround and drop a few hundred dollars at your local electronics parlor.
Surely that would amount to not more than a drop in the bucket next to your myriad gym memberships.
On that note, be sure to include some footage of yourself performing martial arts.
Moving on...
I was also fascinated to learn that:
That is a genuine shame, for I think you to be as honest as Charlie Sheen's claims of sobriety.
You bloated charlatan, you are as full of shit as you are circus peanuts.
So listen here, you amorphous, gelatinous blimp.
Now is your day of reckoning.
I don't want to hear one single, solitary word out of your potato salad clogged gullet until you come through with some tangible documentation of your loose lipped braying.
In closing...
I am relieved to hear that:
For surely you will require some foppish outlet for the emotional anguish you will suffer before this is over.
I am waiting,
Your Dear Helmer
I mean to remind you that extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.
I am here to collect it.
I am particularly keen to obtain verification of the following statements:
Made by the following entity:
I am not the first to make such an exhortation.
Verily several others have been of the same mind, and thus far the only response has been:
Tell me, for what purpose will you require such time?
Simply pick up your camera, record the exercise, and post it.
If you haven't a camera, I suggest you struggle to your feet, catch your breath, then climb onto your hoveround and drop a few hundred dollars at your local electronics parlor.
Surely that would amount to not more than a drop in the bucket next to your myriad gym memberships.
On that note, be sure to include some footage of yourself performing martial arts.
Moving on...
I was also fascinated to learn that:
That is a genuine shame, for I think you to be as honest as Charlie Sheen's claims of sobriety.
You bloated charlatan, you are as full of shit as you are circus peanuts.
So listen here, you amorphous, gelatinous blimp.
Now is your day of reckoning.
I don't want to hear one single, solitary word out of your potato salad clogged gullet until you come through with some tangible documentation of your loose lipped braying.
In closing...
I am relieved to hear that:
For surely you will require some foppish outlet for the emotional anguish you will suffer before this is over.
I am waiting,
Your Dear Helmer
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