Social Are you a good judge of character?

fingercuffs

fingercuffs

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Bloke I worked with, when he started at the company I worked for I knew him because I stole a deal off him when he worked for another company so we had immediate banter.

We got on so well, used to go out for lunch, drinks after work, met his girlfriend, job's a good'm.

He gets fired, we stay in touch having the odd beer every now and again. Then there's an issue with him and a court case where he apparently threw GF into a window during some WTF kebab fight. Me being me immediately wrote him a professional character reference and that it was obviously a tussle that got out of hand.

There's a new Brit cop character on a soap I watch with his surname so I thought I hadn't thought about him in a while so had a Google, and holy shit he nearly murdered her way after the case where I wrote him a character reference.

He got away with it as well, her injuries were off the hook terrible to the point of a ton of metal in her collarbone and it went to The Old Bailey so considering second domestic violence guilty case how is he not inside?
 
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Very good judge of character.

My 16 year old niece had a new boyfriend that played football, sang in the choir, and was the son of a local pastor. He looked like a 220-pound boy band member from the late 90s. Within two months my niece thought she was in love with him, and everybody in my family seemed to love they were together. On paper he was the theoretical perfect boyfriend.

After a few days of hanging out with him separately from her, there was a distinct change of character for him whenever she wasn't around.
Something seemed off with the kid, even besides that.
Couldn't put my finger on it.

My niece is popular in high school, but this boyfriend was VERY popular.
I got the feeling if they'd break up he'd be dating someone else within a week.

I'm just her uncle, but closer to a friend, and I'm not the type to say I should approve of who they're dating. But I did subtly indicate she should keep an eye on him.

And, as it turned out, I was more correct than I realized. He caught him talking with other girls... intimately... and apparently he was playing her the entire time they were dating.

She outright said to me "You were right about him." I replied "Live and learn, kid. Live and learn."


Edit - Would like to add, I liked only one boyfriend my sister had, and that was when she was in high school. Really didn't like any of her boyfriends throughout her 20s, and I always hung out with them for hours multiple times before I came to a final opinion.
Then I met her first boyfriend in her 30s, and he won me over within ten minutes of meeting him. They got married and have been together for 15 years now.
 
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GearSolidMetal said:
Very good judge of character.

My 16 year old niece had a new boyfriend that played football, sang in the choir, and was the son of a local pastor. He looked like a 220-pound boy band member from the late 90s. Within two months my niece thought she was in love with him, and everybody in my family seemed to love they were together. On paper he was the theoretical perfect boyfriend.

After a few days of hanging out with him separately from her, there was a distinct change of character for him whenever she wasn't around.
Something seemed off with the kid, even besides that.
Couldn't put my finger on it.

My niece is popular in high school, but this boyfriend was VERY popular.
I got the feeling if they'd break up he'd be dating someone else within a week.

I'm just her uncle, but closer to a friend, and I'm not the type to say I should approve of who they're dating. But I did subtly indicate she should keep an eye on him.

And, as it turned out, I was more correct than I realized. He caught him talking with other girls... intimately... and apparently he was playing her the entire time they were dating.

She outright said to me "You were right about him." I replied "Live and learn, kid. Live and learn."


Edit - Would like to add, I liked only one boyfriend my sister had, and that was when she was in high school. Really didn't like any of her boyfriends throughout her 20s, and I always hung out with them for hours multiple times before I came to a final opinion.
Then I met her first boyfriend in her 30s, and he won me over within ten minutes of meeting him. They got married and have been together for 15 years now.
Click to expand...

Stop hanging out with 16 year old boys!

A good looking 16 year old lad wasn't ready to settle down with your niece? Must be evil, imo. He's a literal kid, and 99% would be doing the same.
 
LEWIS540 said:
Stop hanging out with 16 year old boys!

A good looking 16 year old lad wasn't ready to settle down with your niece? Must be evil, imo. He's a literal kid, and 99% would be doing the same.
Click to expand...

Both families are very conservative and the boyfriend's older brother got married to his high school sweetheart, and my niece is already dating with the intention of finding a potential husband... and that's what should be the entire point of dating.

Thankfully she has high standards and doesn't like the idea of wasting years of her life on someone that doesn't deserve it.
 
I've gotten better the last couple of years it has been a steep learning curve a mixture of ayahuasca and a really good therapist, that guy was brilliant didn't take any prisoners.
 
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fingercuffs said:
No cliffs

Bloke I worked with, when he started at the company I worked for I knew him because I stole a deal off him when he worked for another company so we had immediate banter.

We got on so well, used to go out for lunch, drinks after work, met his girlfriend, job's a good'm.

He gets fired, we stay in touch having the odd beer every now and again. Then there's an issue with him and a court case where he apparently threw GF into a window during some WTF kebab fight. Me being me immediately wrote him a professional character reference and that it was obviously a tussle that got out of hand.

There's a new Brit cop character on a soap I watch with his surname so I thought I hadn't thought about him in a while so had a Google, and holy shit he nearly murdered her way after the case where I wrote him a character reference.

He got away with it as well, her injuries were off the hook terrible to the point of a ton of metal in her collarbone and it went to The Old Bailey so considering second domestic violence guilty case how is he not inside?
Click to expand...

Not enough room in the prisons and there literally letting people out, yeah I've had the wool pulled over my eyes before as you know.

We really never know anyone 100% and some are so manipulative and deceitful that the percentage you think you know isn't really them anyway......

I have found out that those that wish to be deceitful will avoid large doses of psychedelics. That mask can't stay on forever......
 
fingercuffs said:
No cliffs

Bloke I worked with, when he started at the company I worked for I knew him because I stole a deal off him when he worked for another company so we had immediate banter.

We got on so well, used to go out for lunch, drinks after work, met his girlfriend, job's a good'm.

He gets fired, we stay in touch having the odd beer every now and again. Then there's an issue with him and a court case where he apparently threw GF into a window during some WTF kebab fight. Me being me immediately wrote him a professional character reference and that it was obviously a tussle that got out of hand.

There's a new Brit cop character on a soap I watch with his surname so I thought I hadn't thought about him in a while so had a Google, and holy shit he nearly murdered her way after the case where I wrote him a character reference.

He got away with it as well, her injuries were off the hook terrible to the point of a ton of metal in her collarbone and it went to The Old Bailey so considering second domestic violence guilty case how is he not inside?
Click to expand...
Terrible. I'm usually trusting and gullible until someone breaks trust. Safe to say I wont be asking for references from you anytime soon. I rented a car for a guy because he wasnt old enough in college. He said he needed to pick up his girlfriend in Jackson, MS. A few days later the police were standing at the exit to a class I was taking and they called me out and handcuffed me. Turns out he got busted in Louisiana for 8lbs of marajuana. They were trying to get me on drug trafficking across states etc. I was clean and the guy said I had nothing to do with it so I was let go. Turns out he was the main drug supplier to the athletes.
 
I try to be, most of time I have a good read of a person and the rest of time I fail to completely read this person.
 
Well, here in the U.S.A. everyone loved tv personality Matt Lauer and called him America's Dad. We all know how that worked out so I would say Americans probably aren't the best judges of character. Personally, I'm a better judge of character with men than I am with women.
 
I'm an excellent judge of character when it comes to work stuff. Probably from years of experience and conducting thousands of job interviews.

However, I had a similar experience as you. There was this one guy I hired and he was great at the job, very positive attitude, super nice guy, everyone loves him. Never seen the guy lose his cool or get angry or frustrated at anything.

So I was right in my assessment that he'd be a great employee.

But then he doesn't show up for work, doesn't call, he's just gone.

Well eventually he showed up and it turns out he was in jail for beating up his girlfriend. Another employee who happened to know the girlfriend told me that she said he would tell her things like "nobody will believe you, everyone thinks I'm the nicest guy in the world"

I never would've guessed that's what he had going on at home.
 
fingercuffs said:
No cliffs

Bloke I worked with, when he started at the company I worked for I knew him because I stole a deal off him when he worked for another company so we had immediate banter.

We got on so well, used to go out for lunch, drinks after work, met his girlfriend, job's a good'm.

He gets fired, we stay in touch having the odd beer every now and again. Then there's an issue with him and a court case where he apparently threw GF into a window during some WTF kebab fight. Me being me immediately wrote him a professional character reference and that it was obviously a tussle that got out of hand.

There's a new Brit cop character on a soap I watch with his surname so I thought I hadn't thought about him in a while so had a Google, and holy shit he nearly murdered her way after the case where I wrote him a character reference.

He got away with it as well, her injuries were off the hook terrible to the point of a ton of metal in her collarbone and it went to The Old Bailey so considering second domestic violence guilty case how is he not inside?
Click to expand...

And now you see that writing a character reference for someone facing charges without knowing what happened is a total crapshoot.
 
AFanNotAFighter said:
Well, here in the U.S.A. everyone loved tv personality Matt Lauer and called him America's Dad. We all know how that worked out so I would say Americans probably aren't the best judges of character. Personally, I'm a better judge of character with men than I am with women.
Click to expand...

I think you got that wrong.

Bill Cosby was the one famously called America's Dad.
 
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