Social Adoptees and Mental Health

[ezikel315]

Now this based on only my personal experiences and anecdotes. I used to not have any thoughts about adoptees and if anything, if I were a poor kid from Asia or Africa, getting adopted by rich white people in a western country would sound like a sweet deal. That is until I started to meet adoptees. I met quite a few adoptees throughout my life, most of them being from a different race/country than their adopted parents, and pretty much all of them seemed to display severe mental issues. Emotionally volatile, angry, depressed, with extreme confusion about their identity. Most of the adoptees I met were in Asia, where they were there to try to find their biological mother and hopefully seek some sort of closure. And lot of them to me seemed lost and also bat shit crazy for a lack of a better term. Pretty much every adoptee I've hung out with at some point would have emotional outbursts or start fights. I could provide some stories but then this post would be way too long.

It makes sense in a way. The thought of your own biological mother "abandoning" you and realizing your parents who raised you aren't really your parents must throw a lot of people into turmoil regarding their identity. They don't know where they belong, they may think they're so inherently unlovable that their own mothers abandoned them, etc. That could mess up a lot of people.

The counter argument to myself is that everybody has their own issues, after all there are plenty of bat shit crazy people who are from "normal" homes. But it's the ratio and intensity of volatility I've seen with adoptees that brings me to this hypothesis. I don't mean to sound callous and it's not their fault, but my experiences with them make me more cautious when I find out someone's been adopted.

My brief google search says adoptees have a higher rate of mental health issues, so there's some statistical data to back my observations up.

It made me wonder if adopting is truly a good for the kids. Getting a kid from a poor country and giving him/her a much better chance at life, at least materially, sounds like a lofty idea but that you could be damning that kid with mental issues. Is it better to live in a materially better environment and have abandonment issues and depression, or be desperately poor and starving but feel like you belong somewhere? If you're going to adopt, I think it would better to adopt a kid who looks more like you and pretend that you're their biological parent.

TLDR
1. Do you think adoptees have more mental issues than people in general?
2. Have you had experience interacting with adoptees?

 

[Sonny Qc]

In Quebec, adopting asian girl was almost a tend in the 80s.

Know personally a few ones,
Not aware of any mental issues.

But it's still a small sample.

 

[ricc505]

My friends father was adopted and fought in Vietnam. He was a terrible drunk and his kids hated him. I watched my friends stories about him turn poisonous over the years. I asked my friend if he ever considered why his dad was that way and asked him if he ever neglected his children or failed as head of the house? If his kids ever went hungry or suffered anything worse then embarrassment? After his dad had a stroke his kids forgave him, to late to do anything but take care of him

 

[Flower2dPeople]

In Quebec, adopting asian girl was almost a tend in the 80s.

Know personally a few ones,
Not aware of any mental issues.

But it's still a small sample.

 

[Sonny Qc]

Damn...

 

[Stoic1]

I've known a few. Most are okay.

Truth is most people with biometric parents are fucked up somehow.

One girl I used to bang in HS was definately damaged goods.

 

[Stoic1]

Damn autocorrect and dubbs. Biological not biometric.

 

[ezikel315]

In Quebec, adopting asian girl was almost a tend in the 80s.

Know personally a few ones,
Not aware of any mental issues.

But it's still a small sample.

There are a couple people I know who seemed fine. One is a white guy who was adopted by white parents. He knew he was adopted and seemed cool. I didn't know him that well though.

Another is an Asian girl adopted by white parents. It was just a one night stand at a bar so I didn't get to know her very well. I didn't see her again after we parted ways.

 

[I Am Legion]

It makes sense. Many people that give babies up for adoption may be suffering from mental illness, drug addiction, trauma themselves. I know it's a big problem with Russian babies. They get adopted and develop huge emotional issues and violent outbursts because their mothers were addicts of specific drugs known to cause harm to offspring. I knew a family that adopted 3 kids from Russia and their lives were turned upside down. Really violent emotionally disturbed kids. My sis in law works in a school district with a high rate of Ukraine and Russian kids that were adopted, same thing.

 

[TheTickG]

From the ones I met, 2 out of 3 were delinquents.

 

[FléauDeDieu]

From what I understand is they would've turned out the were they are regardless if they lived in some normal family with everything that money could buy or with deadbeat parents in Calcutta.

Personality is largely nature over nurture.

 

[ezikel315]

From what I understand is they would've turned out the were they are regardless if they lived in some normal family with everything that money could buy or with deadbeat parents in Calcutta.

Personality is largely nature over nurture.

Also could be true. I would wager the racial/national identity issue a lot of adoptees seem to have would probably be absent if they weren't adopted though.