- Joined
- Mar 3, 2004
- Messages
- 1,693
- Reaction score
- 3,236
My train pulled in @terrapin station at 6 AM. The @PurpleStorm Café was just opening up so I stopped in to say hi to the @ObsoleteSoul @Pliny Pete the guy with @THE Red Beard who runs the place and is @TheMaster at making world famous darker than my soul coffee.
I felt the @Long Dark Blues come on being back in my hometown of Mayberry. I’ll probably need a @TherapistInHeaven when I finally drink the @Strychnine and snuff myself but for now this cup of coffee and the @Trabaho I was here to do, would have to suffice. Yo Pete can I get a @biscuitsbrah to go with this coffe? He tossed me my biscuit and I knew it was time to go into @lowlife mode where I 'm psyched up and ready to end a life, I mean just @kahiljabroni who didn't pay his debts
Driving past my old house brought back bitter memories. @ColemanwastheGOAT I had when I first moved to Mayberry but just like all the @nostradumbass ‘es had predicted, he died of stupidity, chewing on live electrical wires on one of my newest posts. There were @Other thoughts running through my head, how @IDGETKTFO when I’d crash my motorcycle trying to race the older kids and how they’d nicknamed me @yamahacrasher after my spectacular wipeouts, the @RoastBeast we’d eat every festivus , and mostly about the sport of @HockeyBjj we’d created one winter down at the pond. @lsa hard thing to put my finger on just when I changed from just an innocent @Kowboy On Sherdog pond who liked to @helax watching the @Kardashians into the trained killer I’d become, but that was the road I had taken.
@Zer a pyschedelic @Van Daz zling my eyes with a portrait of a giant @Krakn painted on it ripped passed me and I heard the distinctive @TeTe laugh and smelled the skunky funk that meant my prey had just whipped past me. By @Horiguchi'sEar what luck! I thought, to have that @freakroor right past me just when I was feeling like an @oldshadow that should just blow on back out of town.
The chase was on and I kept one eye on the target and one eye out for the boys who @Protectandserve. The lemur must have been nibbling on some magic @fungi, because he was all over the road. It’s kind of the @Natural Order of things for guys like this to end up on the wrong end of a contract but I remembered him as a @traditionally_irreverent kid that liked to sneak up on you at lunch @DoctorTaco 's and give you the @VulcanNervPinch and write poems about @Fuzzybabyducks , so this was no ordinary hit for me.
But I’m no @ChickenBrother when I take a contract the hit gets done not like some of these unprofessional @WoozyFailGuy s you see out there plying their on the dark web. No time to @Dillydilly I cranked up the hardest core song @mixmastermo ever rapped and put on my @Sinister @misterfurious face. Well @HomeCheese it is time for you to find whatever @filthybliss Lemurs like you get in Hell I thought as I pulled up alongside his dazzling van. @Reach4theSky I shouted as I pulled out the double barrel, pointed it out the window, pulled the trigger and made it go @Blanqa Blanqua !!!!
Then I watched as the van drove on, at the last second I had pulled off target and accidentally blasted a @SadBunny that had been on the side of the road just behind my intended victim. I had even heard the @Tone C as few of the pellets pinged off the rear of his van. It had been that close, but the Lemur never knew it. And Foamy well he’d have @NoSmilez when he heard that I’d quit, but he was @AFanNotAFighter and I doubt he’d do more than just send a @Pizza Werewolf or a @Lycandroid to try to teach me a lesson.
I knew I'd have to @Get To Da Choppa quick once I was able to ditch my stolen car but I had a great @Law Talkin’ Guy on retainer and ready to go if I somehow got caught in it. And if I had to do any time, I'd do it @Cool Hand Luke style, like a boss eating 60 eggs.
As I neared the Mayberry town border, I switched to the radio, and Bruce Springsteen said it for me, “It’s a town for losers, I’m pulling out of here a winner”
I felt the @Long Dark Blues come on being back in my hometown of Mayberry. I’ll probably need a @TherapistInHeaven when I finally drink the @Strychnine and snuff myself but for now this cup of coffee and the @Trabaho I was here to do, would have to suffice. Yo Pete can I get a @biscuitsbrah to go with this coffe? He tossed me my biscuit and I knew it was time to go into @lowlife mode where I 'm psyched up and ready to end a life, I mean just @kahiljabroni who didn't pay his debts
I Was back to assassinate a @StonedLemur! This @emefer got it into his addled brain that he was the @ChosenOne and had raised the @Wrath of Foamy @volodya @Ponchik, my Russian boss from @KBE6EKCTAH_CCP , who had nothing but @Contempt for any lemur getting too lost in his own beard to pay back his gambling losses.
Driving past my old house brought back bitter memories. @ColemanwastheGOAT I had when I first moved to Mayberry but just like all the @nostradumbass ‘es had predicted, he died of stupidity, chewing on live electrical wires on one of my newest posts. There were @Other thoughts running through my head, how @IDGETKTFO when I’d crash my motorcycle trying to race the older kids and how they’d nicknamed me @yamahacrasher after my spectacular wipeouts, the @RoastBeast we’d eat every festivus , and mostly about the sport of @HockeyBjj we’d created one winter down at the pond. @lsa hard thing to put my finger on just when I changed from just an innocent @Kowboy On Sherdog pond who liked to @helax watching the @Kardashians into the trained killer I’d become, but that was the road I had taken.
@Zer a pyschedelic @Van Daz zling my eyes with a portrait of a giant @Krakn painted on it ripped passed me and I heard the distinctive @TeTe laugh and smelled the skunky funk that meant my prey had just whipped past me. By @Horiguchi'sEar what luck! I thought, to have that @freakroor right past me just when I was feeling like an @oldshadow that should just blow on back out of town.
The chase was on and I kept one eye on the target and one eye out for the boys who @Protectandserve. The lemur must have been nibbling on some magic @fungi, because he was all over the road. It’s kind of the @Natural Order of things for guys like this to end up on the wrong end of a contract but I remembered him as a @traditionally_irreverent kid that liked to sneak up on you at lunch @DoctorTaco 's and give you the @VulcanNervPinch and write poems about @Fuzzybabyducks , so this was no ordinary hit for me.
But I’m no @ChickenBrother when I take a contract the hit gets done not like some of these unprofessional @WoozyFailGuy s you see out there plying their on the dark web. No time to @Dillydilly I cranked up the hardest core song @mixmastermo ever rapped and put on my @Sinister @misterfurious face. Well @HomeCheese it is time for you to find whatever @filthybliss Lemurs like you get in Hell I thought as I pulled up alongside his dazzling van. @Reach4theSky I shouted as I pulled out the double barrel, pointed it out the window, pulled the trigger and made it go @Blanqa Blanqua !!!!
Then I watched as the van drove on, at the last second I had pulled off target and accidentally blasted a @SadBunny that had been on the side of the road just behind my intended victim. I had even heard the @Tone C as few of the pellets pinged off the rear of his van. It had been that close, but the Lemur never knew it. And Foamy well he’d have @NoSmilez when he heard that I’d quit, but he was @AFanNotAFighter and I doubt he’d do more than just send a @Pizza Werewolf or a @Lycandroid to try to teach me a lesson.
I knew I'd have to @Get To Da Choppa quick once I was able to ditch my stolen car but I had a great @Law Talkin’ Guy on retainer and ready to go if I somehow got caught in it. And if I had to do any time, I'd do it @Cool Hand Luke style, like a boss eating 60 eggs.
As I neared the Mayberry town border, I switched to the radio, and Bruce Springsteen said it for me, “It’s a town for losers, I’m pulling out of here a winner”
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