Young man lost in life would like guidance

[Sugar Shower]

What’s up Sherdog. I’ve been stalking here ever since high school and just said fuck it imma make an account, and maybe be more social here. I’m not your typical sherdogger, I’m not 6’11 with adcc gold and lumpini stadium belts, nor can I bench 150 kg wit my dick, lmao.

Anyway, I’m a 22 year old still trying to find my way in life. I don’t really have direction regarding where I want to go with my life. I still care too much about how people view me and am trying not too trip about it. I know most people will say I’m young and shit, and I understand that. But at the same time, I know I’m not getting any younger and life is going to move quick and I can’t just keep sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

Martial arts and Music are two of my biggest passions and I like to think in an ideal world, I’d be able to possibly be a pro fighter and maybe a dj or producer as a side gig. I have some experience in karate and hs wrestling and currently do Muay Thai and bjj, but I wanna pick up boxing and do some boxing and bjj competitions down the line. As for music I play guitar and am learning to produce rnb/neo soul type instrumentals. But I know that it’s a big risky vision for my future. So I’m looking at going to trade school in May for pipefitting. I was thinking of going back to school instead for firefighting/emt or nursing but my uncle knows a guy who owns a hvac/sheet metal/pipefitting company and is helping put me on and I’m figuring I should just use my connections. But I still don’t know if it’s what I truly want, but I just know I have to do something and not sit on my ass forever.

Also I’m really struggling making friends and getting women. I’m a quiet soft spoken dude by nature and I’m aware I’m quiet and know it isn’t necessarily a bad thing but fuck I hate not knowing how to hold a conversation smoothly in general. Even after reading how to win friends and influence people by dale carnegie I still struggle. It doesn’t help that I’m still a kissless virgin and catch feelings pretty fucking fast.

That was long as fuck sorry I get ranty when I talk about shit like this, I know this place is full of people much older than I am and maybe have been in the same boat as me at some point or maybe still are. I guess I just want to know if anyone has any tips for me going forward? I like to think I have an idea based on what I just said but i have no real concrete plan tbh. I’m just trying to not be a depressed loser anymore.

Edit: Thank you everyone who gave me advice. I’m gonna take some time to weigh my options out and move from there. Thanks again

 

[Fengxian]

Everyone is also lost in this life bro. Even the older people who seems wise to us youngins.

Just do your best. Don't be a fighter though, it's kinda too late if you're starting at 22 and the life of a fighter kinda sucks with the brutal training regimen. Do martial arts for fun.

 

[ralphc1]

As an old man, I look back on life being a matter of being in the right place at the right time. Meeting the right people can be totally random.

 

[Jack Reacheround]

Anyway, I’m a 22 year old still trying to find my way in life

If you haven’t already, go to college and graduate. It will give you the time to figure out who you are, and will benefit your life in different ways, including your total lifetime earnings. You’re still younger than I was when I went back to school.

Also, just know that there is no dream job. Everything sucks ass once you have to do it to live.

 

[ipowerslapmywife]

Maybe you would like to start your own business depending on what you’re into. Trade jobs pay a lot more than most jobs and you could eventually start your own hvac business if you went that route.

 

[Sugar Shower]

If you haven’t already, go to college and graduate. It will give you the time to figure out who you are, and will benefit your life in different ways, including your total lifetime earnings. You’re still younger than I was when I went back to school.

Also, just know that there is no dream job. Everything sucks ass once you have to do it to live.

Yeah I’m thinking of going back to pursue nursing or firefighting/emt. But I got offered an opportunity by my uncle to go to a trade school for pipefitting. I first gotta pass an exam on May. I’m still debating but I might lean towards that.

 

[Sweater of AV]

If you're genuinely interested in nursing/EMT/firefighting type stuff then go for it. Don't go into something like pipefitting just because it might please someone or you think they're doing you a favor and you're not comfortable declining. You're basically deciding what you're going to do for a significant part of your life so make sure it's something you have some passion for.

Music and fighting are a really tough combo to make a living off of. You have to either go all in or accept that they will be hobbies. 22 is still pretty young but you'll have to decide.

As for women and meeting people, that will be easier if you do go to school. Regardless, you have to put yourself in situations where you can meet people. Volunteering somewhere is a great way to meet people and it looks good on resumes. Join clubs, groups etc. It's going to be uncomfortable initially but it will get easier pretty quickly.

Good luck bud.

 

[Fedorgasm]

What’s up Sherdog. I’ve been stalking here ever since high school and just said fuck it imma make an account, and maybe be more social here. I’m not your typical sherdogger, I’m not 6’11 with adcc gold and lumpini stadium belts, nor can I bench 150 kg wit my dick, lmao.

Anyway, I’m a 22 year old still trying to find my way in life. I don’t really have direction regarding where I want to go with my life. I still care too much about how people view me and am trying not too trip about it. I know most people will say I’m young and shit, and I understand that. But at the same time, I know I’m not getting any younger and life is going to move quick and I can’t just keep sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

Martial arts and Music are two of my biggest passions and I like to think in an ideal world, I’d be able to possibly be a pro fighter and maybe a dj or producer as a side gig. I have some experience in karate and hs wrestling and currently do Muay Thai and bjj, but I wanna pick up boxing and do some boxing and bjj competitions down the line. As for music I play guitar and am learning to produce rnb/neo soul type instrumentals. But I know that it’s a big risky vision for my future. So I’m looking at going to trade school in May for pipefitting. I was thinking of going back to school instead for firefighting/emt or nursing but my uncle knows a guy who owns a hvac/sheet metal/pipefitting company and is helping put me on and I’m figuring I should just use my connections. But I still don’t know if it’s what I truly want, but I just know I have to do something and not sit on my ass forever.

Also I’m really struggling making friends and getting women. I’m a quiet soft spoken dude by nature and I’m aware I’m quiet and know it isn’t necessarily a bad thing but fuck I hate not knowing how to hold a conversation smoothly in general. Even after reading how to win friends and influence people by dale carnegie I still struggle. It doesn’t help that I’m still a kissless virgin and catch feelings pretty fucking fast.

That was long as fuck sorry I get ranty when I talk about shit like this, I know this place is full of people much older than I am and maybe have been in the same boat as me at some point or maybe still are. I guess I just want to know if anyone has any tips for me going forward? I like to think I have an idea based on what I just said but i have no real concrete plan tbh. I’m just trying to not be a depressed loser anymore.

Damn you dumped a lot on us all at once, little bro.

Serious question. Do you have a good dad? Sounds like the kind of things a good dad t can help you with.

But if not, don't worry. We can help.

Well some of us can. Others will actually give you horrible advice on purpose because we think it's funny.

I won't do that though. I was once a lost young man.

So here goes...

1. Career - if you want to be a pro fighter then let me ask, how seriously are you taking your training? Someone that lives, eats, breathes MMA might have a chance, if he's hooked up with very high level trainers and has some genetic gifts to go along with it. So if that's not you, then I'd say pursue the pipe -fitting career, or nursing or whatever realistic job that interests you and pays well.

There's nothing wrong with having realistic goals instead of lofty dreams.

I wanted to be a writer and I was so convinced that I would make it big that I always treated my current jobs as temporary. I never tried that hard because I knew I was going to quit as soon as my writing career took off.

But I think part of growing up is letting go of your childish fantasies.

Once I accepted that I was never going to be in the top 0.000001% of writers that actually make money, it freed my mind to focus on the job I had. Once I did that, I started outworking and outshining everyone at my company, I got promotion after promotion and wound up making a very good living. I'm probably in the top 3% earners in my town now. Not bragging but I just want you to know what's possible when you focus on a realistic career instead of a pipe dream.

I'll let you think about that for a while before I return to this thread to talk about how to get women. I have a lot of thoughts there too. I was once a very shy dude so I know how it feels. But it can be overcome. I'll tell you how later.

 

[kahiljabroni]

I would totally go into the trades. Before you dive into pipe fitting, do some research on which trade you're best suited for you, which makes the most money, and is in high demand. Once you decide, commit to being the best. Spend 8 years or so learning the business and live extremely frugally so you can start your own business.

Be different. Don't go buy a hot truck or fancy place. Be a sponge at work. Learn best practices, how jobs are set up. Try to advance to a foreman position or something where planning is involved.

Do this plan and at 32 you'll be sitting on a pile of money. Maybe you decide you're not into your own business. Then you'll have a huge down payment for a house. You'll also make a lot of new friends along the way.

 

[Sugar Shower]

Maybe you would like to start your own business depending on what you’re into. Trade jobs pay a lot more than most jobs and you could eventually start your own hvac business if you went that route.

Yeah especially here in California I know they make fucking bank.

 

[Get To Da Choppa]

Also I’m really struggling making friends and getting women. I’m a quiet soft spoken dude by nature and I’m aware I’m quiet and know it isn’t necessarily a bad thing but fuck I hate not knowing how to hold a conversation smoothly in general. Even after reading how to win friends and influence people by dale carnegie I still struggle. It doesn’t help that I’m still a kissless virgin and catch feelings pretty fucking fast.

You need to learn how to ask questions. People enjoy talking about themselves and with the right questions you can get them to open up. Also by asking questions and getting them to talk you'll also seem more attractive/interesting

I apply the case study interview method I learned in business school in conversations. Create a framework of a few types of questions on subjects that people are generally interested in, but also something that you have opinions on/experience in. For example, you can ask someone about what kind of music they like, and then move on to what are their favorite bands, and what are some of their best concert experiences. Once you get them talking you can share your views.

As for getting girls, start posting more to reach at least blue belt status, and chicks will come flocking to you because you exude that Big Sherdogger Energy. When I became a Sherdog blue belt I had to get myself a scuba snorkel because I was drowning in pussy

 

[MDoza]

Considering your lack of success with girls and interest in being a nurse, have you considered a career as a gay porn star?

If that isn't up your alley (no pun intended), going into a field where you have connections is likely your best bet.

If you have a legit burning passion for a certain field, college could be worth it, but nowadays most people get a degree because its the norm, then don't even use it.

Skilled tradesmen are always in demand, and since you have a connection through your uncle, I would utilize it.

 

[GSP_37]

1. Go to the public library and read all sorts of books by well known stock investors and learn how to pick good stocks to invest in. After some big success, you will be rich and cocky and the hot girlies will drop their panties.

2. Watch some TV commercials featuring those poor little kids born with disabilities then get motivated to learn how to make cyborg arms and legs for them. What better way to make the world a better place than to help them disadvantaged little kids be able to use the toilet by themselves with their cyborg arms and legs.

 

[Sugar Shower]

If you're genuinely interested in nursing/EMT/firefighting type stuff then go for it. Don't go into something like pipefitting just because it might please someone or you think they're doing you a favor and you're not comfortable declining. You're basically deciding what you're going to do for a significant part of your life so make sure it's something you have some passion for.

Music and fighting are a really tough combo to make a living off of. You have to either go all in or accept that they will be hobbies. 22 is still pretty young but you'll have to decide.

As for women and meeting people, that will be easier if you do go to school. Regardless, you have to put yourself in situations where you can meet people. Volunteering somewhere is a great way to meet people and it looks good on resumes. Join clubs, groups etc. It's going to be uncomfortable initially but it will get easier pretty quickly.

Good luck bud.

I previously was in school for firefighting but I dropped out last year just bc I wasn’t feeling it. But I’m thinking of picking it back up just because I like the schedule of 48 hours on 96 hours off they have.Also I have a genuine desire in helping ppl and making people happy.Nursing same thing. Only thing with nursing is ik it’s a super competitive field. I was interested in the trades before I knew about my uncles connection. I know here in California I’ve been told the trades are getting scarce with people and the money is insanely good from what I understand so i got curious.

Funny enough I was talking to my cousin who volunteers a lot at the library. I’ve been meaning to do homeless volunteer work. Hell I always said if I ever got like stupidly rich I’d try to combat the homeless crisis in SF. It’s so fucking bad here. Maybe this is a wake up call to look up on that

 

[deviake]

Wild. I was 22 when I started posting here... in 2008.

Follow your heart with guidance from your brain. Don't let other people pressure you into anything. You gotta do you. Over time you'll develop instincts as to what feels right and wrong if you don't have them already. Listen to them and trust yourself, even when things don't work out, reevaluate and keep trusting yourself; build yourself up.

You of course need to put effort into things but some things will unfold naturally through just living your life and moving forward. You'll develop a feel for this with age and life experience as you undoubtedly have already, whether you know it or not.

Whatever feels right to you now, what you're pulled toward (not others' expectations), evaluate if it's realistic and if it is, go for it. It could turn out to be something that doesn't work out but you won't know unless you try.

Martial arts and music are very difficult to make a living off of, they're low percentage pursuits in that regard. Odds are you're better off going to school or picking up that trade, you can always practice music and martial arts while doing other things.

Women and friends are tough, especially these days. It's easier than ever to talk to/meet people but hard to form real connections so don't be too hard on yourself. It's a crazy world and you don't have to have everything figured out. Hell, a lotta people who think they've it all figured out are full of shit. Work on your internals.

Overall, you know or will know your risk and stress tolerance and that will allow you to make grounded decisions.

Good luck my G. Sincerely.

 

[GSP_37]

If you want to combat the homeless crisis, you need to combat the drug lords, you need to prevent current kids from becoming stupid and fooking up their lives and ending up homeless. Teenagers these days have absolute shit character and don't think it's a bad thing to shoot guns at people and do smash and grab crimes where business owners must pay big money to fix and recover.

 

[Van Daz]

What’s up Sherdog. I’ve been stalking here ever since high school and just said fuck it imma make an account, and maybe be more social here. I’m not your typical sherdogger, I’m not 6’11 with adcc gold and lumpini stadium belts, nor can I bench 150 kg wit my dick, lmao.

Anyway, I’m a 22 year old still trying to find my way in life. I don’t really have direction regarding where I want to go with my life. I still care too much about how people view me and am trying not too trip about it. I know most people will say I’m young and shit, and I understand that. But at the same time, I know I’m not getting any younger and life is going to move quick and I can’t just keep sitting around feeling sorry for myself.

Martial arts and Music are two of my biggest passions and I like to think in an ideal world, I’d be able to possibly be a pro fighter and maybe a dj or producer as a side gig. I have some experience in karate and hs wrestling and currently do Muay Thai and bjj, but I wanna pick up boxing and do some boxing and bjj competitions down the line. As for music I play guitar and am learning to produce rnb/neo soul type instrumentals. But I know that it’s a big risky vision for my future. So I’m looking at going to trade school in May for pipefitting. I was thinking of going back to school instead for firefighting/emt or nursing but my uncle knows a guy who owns a hvac/sheet metal/pipefitting company and is helping put me on and I’m figuring I should just use my connections. But I still don’t know if it’s what I truly want, but I just know I have to do something and not sit on my ass forever.

Also I’m really struggling making friends and getting women. I’m a quiet soft spoken dude by nature and I’m aware I’m quiet and know it isn’t necessarily a bad thing but fuck I hate not knowing how to hold a conversation smoothly in general. Even after reading how to win friends and influence people by dale carnegie I still struggle. It doesn’t help that I’m still a kissless virgin and catch feelings pretty fucking fast.

That was long as fuck sorry I get ranty when I talk about shit like this, I know this place is full of people much older than I am and maybe have been in the same boat as me at some point or maybe still are. I guess I just want to know if anyone has any tips for me going forward? I like to think I have an idea based on what I just said but i have no real concrete plan tbh. I’m just trying to not be a depressed loser anymore.

I'm nearly 50 and are in a job I never guessed I'd be in, but I'm happy with the work & workmates. Still don't know what I really want to do.

You are smart as you're reaching out & you also have thought about life going quick. Firstly, don't give a shit of what others think of you. You just be a good person to yourself & others. Some people in life will hate you for no reason at all, but don't even know you. Keep company with good people & weed out others. Some people don't give a shit about others, so they're the ones to weed out. It's quality over quantity after all.

walt whitman/ted lasso quote - "Be curious, not judgmental".

You sound talented & smart. It's good to have skills to fall back on & will give you more options. Education is important. Never stop learning. We can always improve at any age, just have to want to & take the time out to do it

Not everyone is good at everything, so try to find something you are passionate about & you'll probably be great at it. People can see passion & are drawn to it. Hard work & dedication as they say.

Just be yourself in conversations as people smell fake. Ask questions, listen & just be you & keep those mental barriers out of your mind as that is limiting.

You're not a loser. Infact, you're our Sherbro & you just opening up, being honest to yourself & us shows you care.

Send me a message anytime bro. Happy to chat to such a nice person who is genuine

Best wishes.

 

[Jack Reacheround]

Yeah I’m thinking of going back to pursue nursing or firefighting/emt. But I got offered an opportunity by my uncle to go to a trade school for pipefitting. I first gotta pass an exam on May. I’m still debating but I might lean towards that.

Yeah, trade school is good too. But go to college if possible.
Doing manual labor sucks by the time you’re 40. And you would think it would keep you in shape. But apparently it doesn’t. I see shitloads of fat construction workers.

 

[Cole train]

Do not go fighter route, you are too old and its extremely boring and limited existence overall. Like it was by far worst thing about it how everyone else was making money and traveling in cool places while you were working part time and hitting pads in sweaty gym.

Only good thing i got out of it is that i dont have to regret "not going for it"

take it from a guy who started about in your age

Just my 2 cents

 

[Sugar Shower]

Damn you dumped a lot on us all at once, little bro.

Serious question. Do you have a good dad? Sounds like the kind of things a good dad t can help you with.

But if not, don't worry. We can help.

Well some of us can. Others will actually give you horrible advice on purpose because we think it's funny.

I won't do that though. I was once a lost young man.

So here goes...

1. Career - if you want to be a pro fighter then let me ask, how seriously are you taking your training? Someone that lives, eats, breathes MMA might have a chance, if he's hooked up with very high level trainers and has some genetic gifts to go along with it. So if that's not you, then I'd say pursue the pipe -fitting career, or nursing or whatever realistic job that interests you and pays well.

There's nothing wrong with having realistic goals instead of lofty dreams.

I wanted to be a writer and I was so convinced that I would make it big that I always treated my current jobs as temporary. I never tried that hard because I knew I was going to quit as soon as my writing career took off.

But I think part of growing up is letting go of your childish fantasies.

Once I accepted that I was never going to be in the top 0.000001% of writers that actually make money, it freed my mind to focus on the job I had. Once I did that, I started outworking and outshining everyone at my company, I got promotion after promotion and wound up making a very good living. I'm probably in the top 3% earners in my town now. Not bragging but I just want you to know what's possible when you focus on a realistic career instead of a pipe dream.

I'll let you think about that for a while before I return to this thread to talk about how to get women. I have a lot of thoughts there too. I was once a very shy dude so I know how it feels. But it can be overcome. I'll tell you how later.

Regarding my Dad, I don’t talk to him about this stuff much tbh. Idek why not I just don’t feel comfortable about it ig. He grew up much rougher than I did and definitely carries himself much more serious and stoic than I am. I want to be a little more like him in that regard. I asked him for dating advice. I’m not gonna say he gave bad advice but it’s pretty apparent to me that he doesn’t realize how different the dating scene is nowadays compared to his day.

I’ll admit my diet is still absolute shit and something I totally need to work on, even if I don’t become a pro fighter. So maybe being a pro fighter isn’t in my cards and I just may have to swallow that realization. If that’s the case, then I still like to compete in amateur boxing and bjj competitions, and maybe mma too. And eventually get my black belt in karate. Even if I never become a pro I never want to stop growing as a martial artist, it’s the only sport I give a shit about, dancing too. A big motivator for me wanting to be a fighter is my Dad was a pro futbol player. He played pro in Germany representing America but he got his knee injured early and retired bc of it. I was never good at or cared about soccer but I’d like to maybe fulfill something my dad could’ve have.

I’d still like to do music even as just a hobby if I can’t make good money or maybe as a side hustle. Sometimes I make songs that help get negative shit out of me. But my friend I grew up with he lives in LA now and works on music videos and gave me contact info for directors that work with rappers and I let them know if they ever have something cooking up here in NorCal that I’m interested. They’ll literally train me on the spot if I just show up. It’s not something I’m going to pull all my chips into but it’s something I’ll keep my eye on. I’m really just tryna take opportunities when i see them.

But yeah idk man I’m still trying to not compare myself to others and getting over this girl I was messing with who was kinda promiscuous to say the least. I feel foolish bc of it but I need to find happiness in my own company but fuck this shit is tough when I’ve kinda been a ppl pleaser most of my life and have had my emotions tied to how ppl felt about me.