- Joined
- Jul 13, 2005
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Same thing happened to me at the dollar store looking for some superglue in the craft aisle. Middle age lady walked into the aisle and got the most grotesque shock on her face that someone who isn't a middleage lady would dare to be there. She actually stumbled physically and made a hasty semi-run out of there. They're so used to it being their private area they think of it as a refuge, an embassy for only them and their kind.
There's another reason why it feels like such a gross intrusion to them-- a certain type of middleage women go to these places to talk down about everyone but themselves. It's their gossip hub and they are the self-appointed high priestesses of trashtalking everyone and thing but their own exclusive group. It could be at any place they've chosen, despite being in public space such as a library. Book club, craft store, etc. They're used to it being a spot that naturally dissuades others who aren't like themselves from joining or being near, so they have gotten used to banking on the idea that no one ever will..
There's another reason why it feels like such a gross intrusion to them-- a certain type of middleage women go to these places to talk down about everyone but themselves. It's their gossip hub and they are the self-appointed high priestesses of trashtalking everyone and thing but their own exclusive group. It could be at any place they've chosen, despite being in public space such as a library. Book club, craft store, etc. They're used to it being a spot that naturally dissuades others who aren't like themselves from joining or being near, so they have gotten used to banking on the idea that no one ever will..
Even if another woman (younger or better looking or even someone just like them) who they haven't seen before approaches, they get really uncomfortable because it threatens their worldview of themselves and their place within the group. It threatens the group's "power structure", lol. They know deep inside that their gossip and hierarchal talking down on things other than their own isn't based on reality-- it's a delicate, miserable but comfortable construction they've spend months, years building and a small breeze could bring the whole thing down.
It's how they feel good about themselves (and it's clearly not real), so you can see why they are so defensive about it. They don't want to be exposed for being bitter hags but neither the choice of acting to preserve it nor being passive about it will actually stop someone from accidentally destroying and exposing their group for what it is. That's why they just get horrified and tense but are paralyzed as to what to do about it. A simple good natured question from a well-meaning stranger could blow the whole operation, which is all they feel they have at this point.
If the group gets exposed, everyone's insecurity is out on display and the group is shamed forever. They can never live it down or pretend their way back into it. They either have to form new splinter groups or start behaving reasonably, sweetly and kindly to others to feel good about themselves.
It's how they feel good about themselves (and it's clearly not real), so you can see why they are so defensive about it. They don't want to be exposed for being bitter hags but neither the choice of acting to preserve it nor being passive about it will actually stop someone from accidentally destroying and exposing their group for what it is. That's why they just get horrified and tense but are paralyzed as to what to do about it. A simple good natured question from a well-meaning stranger could blow the whole operation, which is all they feel they have at this point.
If the group gets exposed, everyone's insecurity is out on display and the group is shamed forever. They can never live it down or pretend their way back into it. They either have to form new splinter groups or start behaving reasonably, sweetly and kindly to others to feel good about themselves.
