Why Chester Bennington's death has hit a nerve

[RoryFan]

It's the same situation as Chris Cornell, they both had young children. I struggled to muster a single fuck about either.

 

[Randy Trevor]

 

[Roca]

Everyone should just chill

 

[Plissken]

Seems like his suicide hit the broader generation after mine (who dealt with the early deaths of Cobain, Hoon, Nowell, and Staley, then later Mike Starr, Weiland, and Cornell, to name a few). The late 80's to early 90's kids didn't have that big musician tragedy (that I can think of) where someone they grew up listening to between 5th grade and high school died tragically.

 

[13 others]

It concers me that cases involving depression have increased 10 fold since, lets say, 50 years ago. Is that just undiagnosed depression , or is the ever changing environment/social pressures causing depression/anxiety amongst the population now?

 

[loyalyolayal]

Seems like his suicide hit the broader generation after mine (who dealt with the early deaths of Cobain, Hoon, Nowell, and Staley, then later Mike Starr, Weiland, and Cornell, to name a few). The late 80's to early 90's kids didn't have that big musician tragedy (that I can think of) where someone they grew up listening to between 5th grade and high school died tragically.

 

[compressed]

It shouldn't. He preached what he couldn't handle in real life. Endure what you're going through.

 

[HHJ]

i didnt like LP or his nasal vocals but i felt similar things about Chris Cornell. To take yourself out at that age. What was in his mind,etc.

 

[Mike]

It's the same situation as Chris Cornell, they both had young children. I struggled to muster a single fuck about either.

Wow you're so hardcore. It's so metal to lack empathy for others

It concers me that cases involving depression have increased 10 fold since, lets say, 50 years ago. Is that just undiagnosed depression , or is the ever changing environment/social pressures causing depression/anxiety amongst the population now?

I think it's a mix of things: we're better able to diagnose and understand these problems, we're slowly working on removing the stigma from admitting you have mental issues, the culture we live in is artificial and soul crushing, our lifestyle is sedentary and unfulfilling, there's nothing left to conquer, the "average" person has less and less to offer society, there are too many people, etc.



Since we've moved on from a tribal society, most people are at the mercy of their family. If your parents suck, are abusive or neglectful etc, there isn't an entire community to rally around you and make sure you grow up to be a functional and happy person. You're basically on your own. Humans are social animals, pack animals. We're still adjusting to the massive cultural changes caused by the sudden boom in technology from the late 20th century on. There are more ways to communicate than ever, but we're becoming increasingly isolated. It's too easy to just quietly go crazy without anyone intervening or even caring.

 

[Mike]

It shouldn't. He preached what he couldn't handle in real life. Endure what you're going through.

Their music was about struggling to cope with your emotions and have healthy relationships with others. They never "preached" for anyone to do anything. It's a bit silly to tell someone depressed to the point of suicide "just deal with it bro", when you don't have any idea what they're going through.

 

[Gutter Chris]

I've taken Chester's suicide a lot worse than that of other famous people and here's why... As someone who has suffered bouts of depression since the age of 15, whilst suicide at any age is unbearable, it truely scares me when people in his age range do it. There's something so reassuring when you see someone in the media who openly talks about having had depression or living with it and you think that yes, they have either beaten it, or, have a solid coping mechanism sorted, therefore there's still hope for me. For Chester to finally succumb to this illness at 41, after six kids and a wife, quite frankly, terrifies me. So I may still go out this way, but I'll just endure it for another decade or two.

I hope someone else can understand why this has got to me the way it has.

Just remember that depression is only fatal if you lay down and let it kill you. If you made it this long you can go another day and sometimes folks need a reminder. Also when you have the sickness in order not to die you must evolve to a point of being hyper self aware and learn as many coping strategies as you can

The fact that he had 6 kids... that's a whole lot of lifelong pain for them. Good luck to them...

Youd think being so aware of the pain his dad caused him that he would go all out to not inflict wounds that will not heeee el to his own younglings but then again you would also have to assume a fool wacked out on depression and drugs can still hear his inner thoughts to a degree. I find this shit to be sad but also infuriating. Lots of folks have depression and horrid child hoods and its really not a good excuse

 

[Toastytoy]

lol classic

 

[Gutter Chris]

Their music was about struggling to cope with your emotions and have healthy relationships with others. They never "preached" for anyone to do anything. It's a bit silly to tell someone depressed to the point of suicide "just deal with it bro", when you don't have any idea what they're going through.

But I do have an idea of what they are going through and how hard it is and its why im so mad at both of them. Depression is fucking horrible but its only a fatal disease if you let it be.

 

[Mike]

But I do have an idea of what they are going through and how hard it is and its why im so mad at both of them. Depression is fucking horrible but its only a fatal disease if you let it be.

Everyone's depression is different though. I've been suicidal before, and looking back I was out of my fucking mind at the time. Legitimately insane. I managed to recover from that point, somehow, but not everyone can. I know with a slightly different outcome I wouldn't be here anymore either.


I'm sad and disappointed, but I can't be mad at someone that wasn't in their right mind. I'm pissed, but it's more at the fact that it's even possible to be dysfunctional in this way, and that so many people are suffering and struggling because they got a bad dice roll in life. Meanwhile people that have never had to deal with these problems sit on their high horse and talk about how mentally weak people are, that are sick. That have a sickness they have no control over. It's like getting mad at someone for having cancer.

 

[loyalyolayal]

ITT a jungle asian observer is perplexed why white successful people off themselves.

 

[Mike]

ITT a jungle asian observer is perplexed why white successful people off themselves.

Mental illness. It's not that complicated. Money and fame aren't exactly a cure.

 

[minute bull]

ITT a jungle asian observer is perplexed why white successful people off themselves.

It's not something that shouldn't be perplexing. I wholeheartedly recommend skipping analysis if at all possible. It's a nice impulse to maybe want to help, but it's like when a person falls into a river and someone goes to save them. The distance is far and the hero isn't quite the swimmer they may have previously believed, and soon two people are in over their heads.

It's tough when you want to help a person. Maybe there's a good day, but then the next day your friend's depression requires more and more. When does it end? Resentment sets in because, yeah, it's really easy to think, "Why the fuck don't you snap out of it already? Maybe you WANT to be this way." Sometimes people want to earnestly help, and sometimes they only do it because of how it makes THEMSELVES feel inside. And when they're done, they're done.

Depression endures. Just when you think you've got it licked, or you've traced it back to its root traumatic event, or confirmed its a chemical imbalance -- depression is just as smart as you are, and it's driven in ways you didn't know you could be. It's a struggle between successes and negative impulses. In a moment of poor focus, it's really easy to do permanent damage.

 

[Mike]

It's not something that shouldn't be perplexing. I wholeheartedly recommend skipping analysis if at all possible. It's a nice impulse to maybe want to help, but it's like when a person falls into a river and someone goes to save them. The distance is far and the hero isn't quite the swimmer they may have previously believed, and soon two people are in over their heads.

It's tough when you want to help a person. Maybe there's a good day, but then the next day your friend's depression requires more and more. When does it end? Resentment sets in because, yeah, it's really easy to think, "Why the fuck don't you snap out of it already? Maybe you WANT to be this way." Sometimes people want to earnestly help, and sometimes they only do it because of how it makes THEMSELVES feel inside. And when they're done, they're done.

Depression endures. Just when you think you've got it licked, or you've traced it back to its root traumatic event, or confirmed its a chemical imbalance -- depression is just as smart as you are, and it's driven in ways you didn't know you could be. It's a struggle between successes and negative impulses. In a moment of poor focus, it's really easy to do permanent damage.

Perhaps the most fucked up part is knowing WHY you are depressed doesn't HELP. I'm a very analytical and introspective person and have known why I'm this way for a long time, and knowing why doesn't magically fix it. And people absolutely get tired of dealing with it. Friends, family, girlfriends, wives, etc. Driving the people you love away just makes it all worse.

 

[Gutter Chris]

I'm sad and disappointed, but I can't be mad at someone that wasn't in their right mind. I'm pissed, but it's more at the fact that it's even possible to be dysfunctional in this way, and that so many people are suffering and struggling because they got a bad dice roll in life. Meanwhile people that have never had to deal with these problems sit on their high horse and talk about how mentally weak people are, that are sick. That have a sickness they have no control over. It's like getting mad at someone for having cancer.

Aye I know man but all things come through the filter that is us and im a fighter and a strong person and I just assume everyone else is too. I know what its like to crave not to be here and to be filled with hate and anger but I always seem to pull through .... But I also want to and have spent a lifetime learning and honing my techniques . I really do believe that depression only kills if you quit on yourself and I wish I coulda got a call from ol chester Ida told him the what for.

Also makes me mad cuz I got a friend whos mom killed herself and shes been a wreck over it for years and from the other side its a really cruel thing to do to someone and borders on unforgivable.

I know its complicated and Im having a hard time seeing it outside of my own filter and experiences but its a common problem for me. It bugs me that i know he new he was sick and we all know what to do but he didnt and you I both did and I dont think were smarter but we made it .

Suicide fucks with my head bro Ive known too many and it leaves scars on the living that never heal

 

[Mike]

Aye I know man but all things come through the filter that is us and im a fighter and a strong person and I just assume everyone else is too. I know what its like to crave not to be here and to be filled with hate and anger but I always seem to pull through .... But I also want to and have spent a lifetime learning and honing my techniques . I really do believe that depression only kills if you quit on yourself and I wish I coulda got a call from ol chester Ida told him the what for.

Also makes me mad cuz I got a friend whos mom killed herself and shes been a wreck over it for years and from the other side its a really cruel thing to do to someone and borders on unforgivable.

I know its complicated and Im having a hard time seeing it outside of my own filter and experiences but its a common problem for me. It bugs me that i know he new he was sick and we all know what to do but he didnt and you I both did and I dont think were smarter but we made it .

Suicide fucks with my head bro Ive known too many and it leaves scars on the living that never heal

That's the thing, we're all so different. Most of the people I've known have had completely fucked up backgrounds. Here's an example of two guys I've known:


Guy A was raised by crack addicts and dealers, sexually abused, neglected, the works. Ended up becoming a high level chef by his mid 20's, super charismatic lots of friends and attention from girls. Approaches every situation with a problem solver's attitude. See's no obstacles, only opportunities.


Guy B raised by neglectful and mildly abusive parents, sexually abused. Massive depression issues. Watched him literally throw his entire life away over and over again. No showing jobs to get drunk until he'd get fired. Drove his friends, family, and girlfriend away one by one. Constantly crashing at my place after he'd gotten tossed out of somewhere else. Talked constantly about how hard and unfair everything is. Knows he got dealt a shit hand, but feels powerless to overcome it.



Two guys, similar environments, massively different outcomes. Then you have someone like me that's in the middle. Raged through my 20's getting fired from jobs, pushing people away,trying to kill myself, abusing drugs, bouncing from one place to the next.


But I'm tough as fuck and I NEVER give up, the way guy B constantly does. Learned at an early age if I give up I'll fail, and die. Never had family to bail me out of bad situations the way guy B did. On the flipside my life has never approached the heights of guy A. I was always puzzled by his enormous drive, confidence, and will to succeed. Constantly tried to pick his brain to figure out how he got like that.