Two times to maintain, Three times to get better...

[Chulo**]

That's pretty cynical. My wife makes almost as much as I do (maybe more with bonuses), she probably spends as much money on me as I do on her. Not going to go into details about my sex life but it's very satisfactory. I do BJJ 4 times a week, more than that if I'm gearing up for a tournament, and she's cool with it. I just make sure that when I'm not doing BJJ that I spend time with her. She knows it's very important to me, and if we have something she really wants to do then I skip a class or two...but that's not very often, because again she knows it's a priority of mine.

Maybe you just need a girlfriend who cares about your priorities and doesn't suck in bed. Not that that is necessarily easy to find, but I wouldn't assume that a girlfriend/wife destroys your BJJ. I don't imagine most top competitors are celibate warrior priests.

2 major differences between a girlfriend and a wife. A wife is somebody who you plan to be with the rest if your life, a girlfriend is somebody you just fuck while you decide if this is the piece of meat you want to chew on the rest of your life; you wait to see if you can develop feelings for the broad.

Girlfriends these days are made for sex only, and the ones you need to take seriously don't stay with you during the hard times. Hence why the other poster is saying that you should never prioritize a girlfriend over a lifestyle, and I agree with him.

 

[Aethyr]

You can make some sort of living but I doubt it is comfortable. I had a friend give up a law Degree from UCL to train BJJ fulltime. He seems content but I know he struggles quite a bit financially and ramen noodles are his main dish. But he doesnt complain.

I dont know why so many people think they can make money doing BJJ. I have studied 3 different martial arts before BJJ. And even my previous instructors had a full time job. It may be a passion of yours and if your happy living that lifestyle I say go for it. But if your someone who is going to complain that BJJ doesnt pay well what did you think was going to happen?
E
How many freestyle wrestlers make big bucks? You may have 1 or 2 like Jordan Burroughs that makes 200000 from USA wrestling for the olympics but 100 of others can't

Even Matt Hughes complained that for a collegiate wrestler there were only two paths before MMA. WWE or coach. Unless you become a WWE star there is not much money. And hughes didnt want to go that route.

For a BJJ guy wanting to make 5 figures or more money to fight. MMA is your venue. If you dont want to do MMA, there isn't much money in BJJ competition and I doubt there will be much in the next 10 years.

Correct me if I am wrong but other martial arts competitions like Judo, Karate etc. dont pay either.

Does your friend make money purely from competitions or teaching as well? Second, eating ramen is not a living wage. I bet he doesn't have health insurance. For an athlete getting hurt means no money. Finally, athletes have short shelf life 10-15 years. That's part of the reason they make so much - they need to live out the rest of their lives on 10 years worth of pay. How is your friend going to pay for ramen when he's 40, when he's 50, 60?

Scraping by gets old fast. Your friend is a smart kid since he was considering law school. So I suspect he won't like living in near poverty for very long.

 

[NateTx4112]

Women aren't like that anymore - I doubt more than 1% of the female population in the West is "wife-material". Women these days think the height of fun is getting drunk out of their minds at a club and being borderline-raped by some Jersey Shore douchebag, not anything approaching romance. I'm also of the generation of men who has seen their parents' marriage end in a messy divorce, usually instigated by the woman, after which the man is robbed blind by a divorce court. I don't think I've seen a relationship among people my age last more than a coupe of years and frankly I'm too jaded to even try. The number of women who casually cheat on their boyfriends/husbands is also ridiculous. So, yeah, Jiu-jitsu > women/relationships.

You seem to be pretty young, this stuff settles down later in life.

And 1%...you really seem to be jaded.

2 major differences between a girlfriend and a wife. A wife is somebody who you plan to be with the rest if your life, a girlfriend is somebody you just fuck while you decide if this is the piece of meat you want to chew on the rest of your life; you wait to see if you can develop feelings for the broad.

Girlfriends these days are made for sex only, and the ones you need to take seriously don't stay with you during the hard times. Hence why the other poster is saying that you should never prioritize a girlfriend over a lifestyle, and I agree with him.

And you treat them like that (Sex only) it's a self fulfilling prophecy.

 

[Uchi Mata]

2 major differences between a girlfriend and a wife. A wife is somebody who you plan to be with the rest if your life, a girlfriend is somebody you just fuck while you decide if this is the piece of meat you want to chew on the rest of your life; you wait to see if you can develop feelings for the broad.

Girlfriends these days are made for sex only, and the ones you need to take seriously don't stay with you during the hard times. Hence why the other poster is saying that you should never prioritize a girlfriend over a lifestyle, and I agree with him.

If you're an asshole, wife material girls probably won't be very interested. And for most women I know, considering girlfriends as 'made for sex only' pretty much qualifies you as an asshole, at least where women are concerned. Which doesn't make you an asshole in any other area of life, to be sure.

Depends also how old you are...I think many of us go through a phase (usually early-mid 20s) where relationships are mostly about sex. However, I also think most of us grow out of it.

 

[100%Jiu-Jitsu]

And you treat them like that (Sex only) it's a self fulfilling prophecy.

Hey, it's not the prophecy's fault; the gentleman's personality clearly was interfering with his ability to find decent female companionship way before he ever shared his views with us.

 

[kintana]

Does your friend make money purely from competitions or teaching as well? Second, eating ramen is not a living wage. I bet he doesn't have health insurance. For an athlete getting hurt means no money. Finally, athletes have short shelf life 10-15 years. That's part of the reason they make so much - they need to live out the rest of their lives on 10 years worth of pay. How is your friend going to pay for ramen when he's 40, when he's 50, 60?

Scraping by gets old fast. Your friend is a smart kid since he was considering law school. So I suspect he won't like living in near poverty for very long.

He makes money from teaching mainly. He does some privates but mainly as a teacher position at the gym. But he gets by. I dont think he gets by well and lives pretty far out to have not to pay much in terms of rent. I know he competes quite a bit but I am not sure if he gets paid. He has done some MMA fights but I think semi pro level or amateur.

Really he explained to me at this point in his life this is what he wants. If he fails he is sure he can find something. I mentioned he should get the degree a Top Law school in the UK you can do something with that.

But he is certain bar serious financial burden or injury, BJJ/martial arts will be his life. I think he will be fine clearly a bright individual, when you speak to him you can tell this guy is clearly one of those kids that loved to study and passed with high marks. I am sure he will find something to do with martial arts.

I cant say that is the lifestyle in term of scrapping that I want. But who am I to say he is wrong if right now he seems happier the most of my other friends who are graduates. He might not be 10 years down the road.

 

[100%Jiu-Jitsu]

Women aren't like that anymore - I doubt more than 1% of the female population in the West is "wife-material".

Trust me, I can relate to where you are coming from. That's why I started dating Eastern European women who are in the U.S. on tourist or student visas. My current girlfriend is well educated, intelligent, gorgeous (she occasionally works as a model), and incredibly devoted to me. She cleans my house, does my laundry, and makes me delicious home-cooked meals. She doesn't just give me backrubs when I come home sore from training; she comes to my tournaments and video tapes all my matches for me.

Do I spend time and money on her? Yup. Best. Investment. Ever. :icon_lol:

 

[esteven]

Falling behind what exactly? The general Mixed Martial Arts skill level curve? Your class' teaching schedule? Your upcoming opponent? There will always certainly be someone who can one up you in one way or another, so to say that you're "falling behind" if you're not training is kind of nonsense, IMO. The only person you should worry about "falling behind" of is yourself, because in all actuality, that is your biggest and strongest opponent.

I train grappling in class once week and go over moves on my dummy every other evening. When I show up to roll once a week with my peers, I still do quite well (sometimes making people tap, other times getting tapped).

A good example of time invested=/= skill level is Eddie Bravo not even beginning grappling training until he was like 19 and then going out and beating guys who have been rolling since before they could walk.

Just my .02

-Cody

I think TS was indeed referring to "falling behind" of yourself. He seemed to mean that it takes a certain effort to maintain your abilities at a plateau, and more effort if you want to improve them. Falling short of that means losing skill/conditioning/etc.

 

[Cash Bill 52]

I am glad to see that this thread is still going... The girlfriend/wife talk is interesting. My marriage ended partly due to jiu jitsu. But, it was the best for all parties involved. I am still friends with my ex wife and her new fiance'. My new girlfriend supports me. She understands that jiu jitsu is a big part of my life. She wants me to be happy.

So I go all "Jersey Shore" on her... because I want her to be happy too.

 

[Cash Bill 52]

Trust me, I can relate to where you are coming from. That's why I started dating Eastern European women who are in the U.S. on tourist or student visas. My current girlfriend is well educated, intelligent, gorgeous (she occasionally works as a model), and incredibly devoted to me. She cleans my house, does my laundry, and makes me delicious home-cooked meals. She doesn't just give me backrubs when I come home sore from training; she comes to my tournaments and video tapes all my matches for me.

Do I spend time and money on her? Yup. Best. Investment. Ever. :icon_lol:

A toast to all the beautiful women in the world!!! Just let us train more than 3 x per week and we will love you forever!

 

[woooo]

Between work and other stuff 2x a week is maxing out, and at my age my body is quite content with that arrangement.

 

[kjg1672]

Trust me, I can relate to where you are coming from. That's why I started dating Eastern European women who are in the U.S. on tourist or student visas. My current girlfriend is well educated, intelligent, gorgeous (she occasionally works as a model), and incredibly devoted to me. She cleans my house, does my laundry, and makes me delicious home-cooked meals. She doesn't just give me backrubs when I come home sore from training; she comes to my tournaments and video tapes all my matches for me.

Do I spend time and money on her? Yup. Best. Investment. Ever. :icon_lol:

You guys are funny.

 

[Bullheaded]

I've trained twice a week for about 3 years now, with some occasionnal bumps to 3 or 4 times. I know that competition wise I suck, but I still feel like I improve every week. Just thinking about BJJ everyday gives me some new ideas, makes me realise about details I forgot and when I get to training I have a clear objective.

Don't get me wrong, I'm craving to train more, but my work schedule hasn't allowed me to do so.

During the whole summer for instance I trained 4 times a week for 3 months, and I felt it was the ideal schedule. My recovery was going well, I was stronger than ever, yet, I was just applying technique but not really thinking as much about what were the holes of my game, why did I screw this triangle up etc... I realized a lot of things during my dowtime oddly enough.

I do feel like training more than 5 times a week isn't such an ideal thing if you're a normal guy. Unless you're able to live off it (and again, I'd love to if I could) having a normal job, and training that much means you're not gonna have any social life outside the gym which is a bit of a waste.

I'll do my best to try to squeeze a 3rd session in my week schedule. and I have 2 weeks of vacations coming tonight, I intend to train my ass off during that time, but more than 4 seems like a bit too much for me (again, if you have a normal job).

 

[PCypert]

I had to do a bit of work to get my situation, but if you approach it well most should be able to as well. I got my work to let me start at 7-730 every morning. That way I can make the 5-6 and 6-730 classes at my gym. Again gf trains with so no losses in that area (though there are the occasional awkward days when she feels I either have gone too hard or not hard enough on her). Hang out with guys from gym and non BJJ friends in the evenings or on weekends so not missing out there.

GF wants purple belt so she can teach women's self defense classes someday and get more girls into the sport so looks like I'm covered for 5-9 years at her current pace LOL.

I think this would be impossible with kids though.

I don't really consider this anywhere close to all out though. There's some Japanese guys at our gym who drive 1 1/2 hours into crappy BKK traffic to train and others who keep near my schedule with kids.

A lot of people say they don't have time, but really it's their tv time or others they don't want to sacrifice. If handled correctly can be a great community building, relationship enhancing activity (but you have to really enjoy time with your partner).

I don't think 6 days a week is for everyone. In fact come next year's tournaments I hope most aren't training that way Seriously though any regular amount of time is commendable. We all have our schedules and life goals, but if you're gonna do it find a way to be consistent.

 

[Uchi Mata]

I think as you get older you need to listen to your body more. I have weeks where I train 5-6 times + weights, and I have weeks where I train 2-3 times and it exhausts me. It has a lot to do with what's going on at work, at home, etc, but I don't hold myself to an artificial schedule. I'm a hobbyist, family (by choice) and work (by necessity, though I do love what I do) are both more important than BJJ, as is overall health. If I'm training so much I have trouble getting out of bed in the morning or concentrating at work or paying attention to my wife, then I'm training too much whether that's 6x a week or only 2-3.

 

[Einarr]

"It takes two training sessions per week to maintain your skill level and three times to get better"

That's bull, IMO. I train Judo for 3 hours a week, Freestyle Wrestling for 2 hours a week, and BJJ for 15 hours a week. My Judo and wrestling aren't just stagnant - I'm making noticeable progress and can ragdoll most non-crosstraining BJJ guys due to it.

 

[Alonbenav]

I'm at 3x regularly and an occaisional 4x week regiment for training. I recently got into a pretty serious relationship, which thankfully hasn't limited my training at all. I can't imagine sacrificing that relationship for training, but I'm also getting older, (maybe) a bit wiser, and really realistic about where Jiu Jitsu is going to take me. All I can say to you young bucks is, relationships--familial, plutonic, romantic--are much more important that whatever you're going to achieve through a super busy training regiment. Don't sacrifice one for the other, find a balance that works and be a complete human being.

Ultimately, a guy like Bill, who I've had the pleasure of meeting, is kind of my paragon for where I'd like jiu jitsu to take me.

 

[Alonbenav]

2 major differences between a girlfriend and a wife. A wife is somebody who you plan to be with the rest if your life, a girlfriend is somebody you just fuck while you decide if this is the piece of meat you want to chew on the rest of your life; you wait to see if you can develop feelings for the broad.

Girlfriends these days are made for sex only, and the ones you need to take seriously don't stay with you during the hard times. Hence why the other poster is saying that you should never prioritize a girlfriend over a lifestyle, and I agree with him.

Why am I not surprised that you view women in this hyper-misogynistic way?

 

[JimmJimma]

I saw you mentioned on Aesopian BJJ's site on this topic and I totally agree. I'm a 3-stripe white belt and have been since Thanksgiving time. I go about 2-4 times a week on average and sometimes do a stretch of 5 times a week.

I try not to think about belt progression too much, but what I'm concerned about is that I don't compete and don't have much interest in competing at the moment. I work 60-70 hours a week at work and don't want to overload myself by worrying about competition. But I also feel I'm risking getting overlooked by my teachers because I'm not a top priority.

At the end of the day, I've been doing BJJ steadily for 8 months. I've had false starts with it three times already in my life. Now that I'm 28, I've found a home in my academy. I feel like I'm progressing all the time and that's what's most important to me. I guess if I need to take a lot longer than everyone else to progress through the ranks... that's fine.

Back in the day (late 90's) the saying, "It takes two training sessions per week to maintain your skill level and three times to get better", I believe is attributed to Rickson or Renzo. These days it seems that if you aren't training two times per day you are falling behind.

What is your opinion? I know a lot of guys on here train much more than two-three times per week. I think back in the day things such as surfing or just hanging out with your friends and family were a priority.

I just competed two weeks ago at The OG Worlds. My training schedule in the weeks leading up to the event was 6 x per week with additional strength and conditioning. Now that it's over I am back to 3-4x per week. I am hanging out more with my girlfriend, engaging in other activities and hobbies, and focusing more on my work.

My point is that I think some people are missing out on large aspects of their life by training too much. As a kid I played hockey to the point of burn out. I have no desire as an adult to play hockey at all. It seems that some people are in a rush to get their black belt, compete all the time, and have no other interests other than training.

I know that training schedules depend on age, family commitments, job, health and other things, but I see some people sacrificing major aspects of their life in order to train 2 x per day. Do you see this as an issue? Do you think some people need more balance in their life?

I'm just sitting around wondering if anyone else feels the same way...

 

[bjjcaveman]

... Wall full of golds, home void of life.

So poignant....