Social Teacher/Student Relationships

[zebby23]

Home school them. Problem solved.

He doesn’t want to raise anti social weirdos

 

[DC23]

He doesn’t want to raise anti social weirdos

Says the guy with almost 7k Sherdog posts in just over a year.

 

[vengeful]

Says the guy with almost 7k Sherdog posts in just over a year.

Are you trying to say that communicating with members of the sherdog community isn't being social?

 

[franklinstower]

But what if I end up wanting to sleep with them?

A woman doing that isnt equipped to be in a real relationship with an adult. Its not because her husband isnt a man, it may even be because he is a man.

 

[panamaican]

I agree with the OP. I think most people are far too cavalier about this when it involves boys and female teachers. Sure, some guys are out there actively trying to bang older women. But from a maturity perspective, it's probably better to walk through that developmental experience with someone in the same place.

 

[zebby23]

Says the guy with almost 7k Sherdog posts in just over a year.

People who attack post counts are weird

 

[Liquid Smoke]

The most emasculating thing I can think of is your woman banging a 17 year old cause you ain’t hitting it right

How bout your girl becoming a lesbian?

 

[Liquid Smoke]

People who attack post counts are weird

Get off the internet for a few hours and maybe you'll understand why people do that.

 

[RockstarChris]

 

[Islam Imamate]

I agree with the OP. I think most people are far too cavalier about this when it involves boys and female teachers. Sure, some guys are out there actively trying to bang older women. But from a maturity perspective, it's probably better to walk through that developmental experience with someone in the same place.

I agree that some people are too cavalier about these interactions when its a male student and female teacher but I don't think they're entirely wrong to think of it differently than the reverse if only because the physical disparity between a mid to late teenage boy and a women in her 20s is likely to be less than if the sexes were reversed. I also think there's truth to the idea that sometimes its really not that bad and just more or less harmless, if still wildly inappropriate, for the boys but I also think the same can be said of female students in many cases.

Whether or not its a traumatic experience is likely going to depend on a multitude of factors; whether or not and to what extent the adult was violent or physical abusive, whether it was a long running relationship or just a one time affair, the emotional maturity of the student which can vary even between students of the same age, the extent to which the teacher used their authority to coerce the student into the sexual relationship and so on. To be clear I'm not saying these relationships should be legally allowed nor that the teachers should not have the book thrown at them, just that I don't think its inherently harmful despite being nonetheless highly risky and problematic for the most part.

 

[JDragon]

Whether or not its a traumatic experience is likely going to depend on a multitude of factors; whether or not and to what extent the adult was violent or physical abusive, whether it was a long running relationship or just a one time affair, the emotional maturity of the student which can vary even between students of the same age, the extent to which the teacher used their authority to coerce the student into the sexual relationship and so on

And especially whether it gets discovered and made public. I would argue that is the most likely traumatizing reason unless there is physical violence involved.

 

[Fawlty]

If you guys are overly worried about teachers, you're missing your own siblings and parents, and your friends, and the friends/family of your kids' friends - the people far more likely to abuse your kids' trust than teachers. Along with teachers add any authority figure (especially religious leaders) or coach etc.

 

[panamaican]

I agree that some people are too cavalier about these interactions when its a male student and female teacher but I don't think they're entirely wrong to think of it differently than the reverse if only because the physical disparity between a mid to late teenage boy and a women in her 20s is likely to be less than if the sexes were reversed. I also think there's truth to the idea that sometimes its really not that bad and just more or less harmless, if still wildly inappropriate, for the boys but I also think the same can be said of female students in many cases.

Whether or not its a traumatic experience is likely going to depend on a multitude of factors; whether or not and to what extent the adult was violent or physical abusive, whether it was a long running relationship or just a one time affair, the emotional maturity of the student which can vary even between students of the same age, the extent to which the teacher used their authority to coerce the student into the sexual relationship and so on. To be clear I'm not saying these relationships should be legally allowed nor that the teachers should not have the book thrown at them, just that I don't think its inherently harmful despite being nonetheless highly risky and problematic for the most part.

They are entirely wrong.

If anything, the female student/male teacher dynamic is better. Girls enter and exit puberty sooner. They are more emotionally mature at a younger age. In almost every facet that matters, girls are ready for the physical and mental components of a sexual relationship before boys are.

Yes, people think about it differently. They are wrong to do so and it is why they are too cavalier about it. If anything, they would protect boys more aggressively for the reasons above.

Additionally, if the age and relationship issue wasn't as big a deal for boys then they wouldn't be as concerned when it involves a male teacher/male student dynamic. Yet, people are most negative on that dynamic compared to any of the others...even when it involves a gay student and teacher. When a straight boy enters into a sexual relationship with a straight female teacher, vague innuendo about boys wanting sex. When it's a gay boy and a gay teacher, the boy is suddenly incapable of determining what the bot wants.

In short form, you have adult males excusing or punishing sexual malfeasance based on their adult sexual preferences and not on what's best for the minors involved.

EDIT: I know that's not what you're saying. I just feel strongly that it's not taken seriously enough.

 

[WTF2008]

It's gonna be quite a while before my twins (boy and girl) are teenagers, but I worry about this kind of shit. I don't buy the notion that it's a victimless crime.

The hot teachers sleeping with students sounds awesome to some of us as adults... but we're adults. We're looking at it from the perspective of adults. Most of us now have the maturity and life experience to not let it fuck with us. We know who we are, how we're supposed to behave, and how we're supposed to be treated. It would just be sex.

It seems so obvious to us, but anyone who spends a significant amount of time around kids, parents or not, should be able to figure out that kids are fucking idiots. Pretty much any and all information they are given they take to the extreme. Every experience is warped in their weird little brains. Teenagers are not much better.

The sex part isn't even the main issue, but the fact that it's authority figures doing this to young people under their care. Even if it's my son that something like this happens to, that shit will fuck with him, and warp his perception of sexual relationships for life. It seems like damn near all of these women are married, and half of them are giving the kids drugs. It teaches them an innate disrespect of authority, disrespect of their vows to their spouses, lack of professionalism, that sexual relationships can/should have a disproportionate power dynamic, etc..

Pics, for the mouthbreathers.

It's not a common thing. They'll have a lot of teachers that have no interest in sleeping with them.

Turn off the porn dude.

 

[Islam Imamate]

They are entirely wrong.

If anything, the female student/male teacher dynamic is better. Girls enter and exit puberty sooner. They are more emotionally mature at a younger age. In almost every facet that matters, girls are ready for the physical and mental components of a sexual relationship before boys are.

Yes, people think about it differently. They are wrong to do so and it is why they are too cavalier about it. If anything, they would protect boys more aggressively for the reasons above.

Additionally, if the age and relationship issue wasn't as big a deal for boys then they wouldn't be as concerned when it involves a male teacher/male student dynamic. Yet, people are most negative on that dynamic compared to any of the others...even when it involves a gay student and teacher. When a straight boy enters into a sexual relationship with a straight female teacher, vague innuendo about boys wanting sex. When it's a gay boy and a gay teacher, the boy is suddenly incapable of determining what the bot wants.

In short form, you have adult males excusing or punishing sexual malfeasance based on their adult sexual preferences and not on what's best for the minors involved.

Those are all relevant factors that can mitigate the potential harm of a female student, male teacher relationship relative to the opposite and reasons why I think that, in some cases, the harm of a female student, male teacher relationship can be more or less negligible.

However as I said the truth that I see in the other side is the physical factor. An adult male is, generally speaking, a greater physical threat to either a male or female student. Of course women can also be violent but I think the threat is, on average, less when compared to a male. This is partly why I think male/male teacher student relationships are seen as more problematic though I also think its related to the homosexual nature of them as well. But that physical factor is not always, and seemingly not usually, a factor in these relationships to be fair so despite the latent threat there it doesn't seem to be realized. If the student is coerced it seems to be more often done through the use of the teacher's authority and not physically.

 

[hillelslovak87]

Drugging your kids because they have "too much energy" is a much bigger issue than worrying about the teacher boogeyman, imo.

Dude, you never went to my podunk hometown's schools then.

Within my highschool time, 2001-2005, the list, off the top of my head, regarding teacher student relationships and or fuckings:

Head football coach
Assistant Head coach - both had sophomore year aged girlfriends, and even rented an apartment to fuck them in. The head coache's father, in the same position, had gotten caught doing the same thing in the 70s, going to jail.

Choir teacher - fucked a sophomore, notorious hoe. He was a deacon in the church with a pregnant wife

Offensive line coach/Global Issues teacher - had illegitimate child with 16 year old girl who later married the current gym teacher, her age, in the 60s.

Football athletic trainer - Caught sending dick pics to daughter's middle school friends

Girl's baseball coach - caught sending texts to 8th grade girls

Special ed teacher in HS - Caught sexually abusing mentally handicapped boys and girls

High School English teacher - A year after I graduated, got paralyzed from the neck down, and somehow fucked my psychotic ex girlfriend in his class after school.

That is just off the top of my head.

 

[Thai Otoshi]

It's not a common thing. They'll have a lot of teachers that have no interest in sleeping with them.

Turn off the porn dude.

Someone in this very thread posted how some 9.6% of school kids experience some sort of sexual misconduct from an educator during their school career.

Nearly 1/10 kids is a significant number.

To add to that, even if it wasn't that high of a number, that's not what this thread is about anyway. This thread is specifically about my feelings on the disparity in perception of male faculty/female student to female faculty/male student among adult males reading about these reports. The actual frequency of these incidents is secondary.

 

[panamaican]

Those are all relevant factors that can mitigate the potential harm of a female student, male teacher relationship relative to the opposite and reasons why I think that, in some cases, the harm of a female student, male teacher relationship can be more or less negligible.

However as I said the truth that I see in the other side is the physical factor. An adult male is, generally speaking, a greater physical threat to either a male or female student. Of course women can also be violent but I think the threat is, on average, less when compared to a male. This is partly why I think male/male teacher student relationships are seen as more problematic though I also think its related to the homosexual nature of them as well. But that physical factor is not always, and seemingly not usually, a factor in these relationships to be fair so despite the latent threat there it doesn't seem to be realized. If the student is coerced it seems to be more often done through the use of the teacher's authority and not physically.

But these relationships, female teacher/male student, male teacher/female student, same sex student and teacher, almost all turn on authority and not physicality. They are almost all the result of manipulation by the authority trading on superior knowledge and abuse of trust.

And I don't think the female student, male teacher harm is negligible. In our current society, loss of female sexual virtue is more strongly stigmatized. The female student is entering into a situation where one of her earliest sexual experiences will become a source of shame if revealed. It can be deeply traumatic to discover after the fact that something so personal is considered shameful to your peer group. At least society will listen if she expresses regret about how such a thing occurred and what it means for her.

The damage to boys is clearly different since society will lionize their abuse while denying them a proper emotional scaffold from which to process their experience. Do either of us believe that the women abusing male students are providing those boys with an age appropriate emotional support system to accompany the physical element? Or are they simply telling them whatever it takes to facilitate the abuse? The potential negative impact on their future relationships is difficult to determine.

 

[panamaican]

Dude, you never went to my podunk hometown's schools then.

Within my highschool time, 2001-2005, the list, off the top of my head, regarding teacher student relationships and or fuckings:

Head football coach
Assistant Head coach - both had sophomore year aged girlfriends, and even rented an apartment to fuck them in. The head coache's father, in the same position, had gotten caught doing the same thing in the 70s, going to jail.

Choir teacher - fucked a sophomore, notorious hoe. He was a deacon in the church with a pregnant wife

Offensive line coach/Global Issues teacher - had illegitimate child with 16 year old girl who later married the current gym teacher, her age, in the 60s.

Football athletic trainer - Caught sending dick pics to daughter's middle school friends

Girl's baseball coach - caught sending texts to 8th grade girls

Special ed teacher in HS - Caught sexually abusing mentally handicapped boys and girls

High School English teacher - A year after I graduated, got paralyzed from the neck down, and somehow fucked my psychotic ex girlfriend in his class after school.

That is just off the top of my head.

That's enough drama for a WB tv series.

 

[Islam Imamate]

But these relationships, female teacher/male student, male teacher/female student, same sex student and teacher, almost all turn on authority and not physicality. They are almost all the result of manipulation by the authority trading on superior knowledge and abuse of trust.

Sure I even said that in my post, I just think the physical difference, rightly or wrongly, is partly why male abusers are seen in a different light.

And I don't think the female student, male teacher harm is negligible. In our current society, loss of female sexual virtue is more strongly stigmatized. The female student is entering into a situation where one of her earliest sexual experiences will become a source of shame if revealed. It can be deeply traumatic to discover after the fact that something so personal is considered shameful to your peer group. At least society will listen if she expresses regret about how such a thing occurred and what it means for her.

Two things. The first is that I'm not saying these relationships have a negligible chance of harm, just that in certain cases the harm is negligible. There is a high potential for harm even if its not realized in every cases.

Second, the shame factor from having the relationship revealed publicly isn't something that's inherent to the experience, its a harm that is generated after the fact from related but separate experiences. If the interaction was never discovered that harm would not exist. This is not to say there aren't other harms though.

The damage to boys is clearly different since society will lionize their abuse while denying them a proper emotional scaffold from which to process their experience. Do either of us believe that the women abusing male students are providing those boys with an age appropriate emotional support system to accompany the physical element? Or are they simply telling them whatever it takes to facilitate the abuse? The potential negative impact on their future relationships is difficult to determine.

Sure that's all serious stuff that can mess with a boy, I just don't think all boys who have these interactions experience that kind of harm. Like I said I think sexual and emotional maturity can vary a lot between teenagers and I think one 16 year old might have no problems with such an experience while another, older teenager might find it troubling on some level.