Stupid things your SO does

[EndlessCritic]

She has no concept of cleaning the kitchen as she cooks. In fact, it appears she actively tries to make it as messy as possible, knowing I'm going to end up cleaning it up. I always come home and imagine this:

 

[Otto!]

damn, 31 years. are you in your 50s?

Yep, turned 52 last week.

 

[Stalkingsquid]

Well mines a vegetarian so where to begin......

 

[OCGSC]

She don't suck dick but only performs anal because she is catholic.

 

[Deleted member 220895]

I so hate it when my significant other doesn't exist. They're the hardest type to deal with.

 

[AznTrojan]

She don't suck dick but only performs anal because she is catholic.

 

[Mike]

I’ll do something nice and she’ll say “ oh you want a bj tonight?”
Then doesn’t follow through.

Her best friend comes over around once a week and they drink and bullshit. Her friend is always finding ways to mention how good she is at bj’s and how much she likes doing it.

Next time mine doesn’t follow through and her friend brings that shit up I’m gonna pull it out and stick it in her mouth.


If I stop posting y’all will know I’m dead lol.

Holy fuck lol.

 

[Rygu]

My masters degree holding wife put a bowl with a metal spoon in it into the microwave...and didnt see the issue.

Also thought her windshield was melting when it was ice...stupid bitch.

I put plates with forks in the microwave frequently and have for years and nothing has ever happened...

 

[funcrusher2007]

Mine has this cognitive/verbal dissonance when she gets flustered.
*during argument, I remind her of her own words on the subject by quoting WHAT SHE JUST SAID*
" I didn't say THAT!"

Thissss.

My wife will literally same something in an argument and five seconds later swear she never said that.
I’ve even turned on my phone recorder just to troll her with it and she just storms off.

Bitches man...

 

[lifelessheap]

More annoying that stupid but this is my contribution:

My ex would take FOREVER to decide where she wanted to go for lunch or dinner, and once I'd finally cave for whatever overpriced and underseasoned fucking restaurant she wanted to go, I'd be starving by the time we got there but then she'd take forever again to decide what she wanted to drink and then another forever to decide what she wanted to eat.

Would murder.

 

[ghoul]

My SO is fucking incapable of hanging up his used towels properly. He’s not really a messy person but I swear he’s not aware of how nasty towels can smell. It’s disgusting.

 

[neverwas]

oh, and she thinks our bed is a fucking hanger for her clothes, and can't understand why i throw all her clothes on the floor on her side of the bed, where they remain.

 

[Sketch]

We both have dressers just a few feet away from eachother yet all her random stuff and clutter ends up on top of my dresser instead of her own.

Also, I'm the one that cooks and she in turn cleans the kitchen and does the dishes. It irritates the shit out of me if she doesn't do the dishes that night and lets them sit there til the next day.

The one that makes me want to drive my head into a wall-- When we're going somewhere like out for drinks or something and takes upwards of 2 hours to get ready while I'm sitting around waiting, visibly irritated and she finally comes out of the room and has the nerve to say, "Are you ready?" like I haven't been fucking sitting around for an hour and a half waiting for you

Damn. She needs a lot of make up etc then? I don't know that feel. But hey, a lot of men live like you. It's very sad.

 

[2DUM2TAP]

Dude. It's like.. I get it, you don't care about my quest for international Madden superiority, but you know what the fuckin 4th quarter is u fuckin cunt.

And mine loves to act like she has encyclopedic knowledge of everything we've both done since we've known each other. Everything I do wrong I "aaaaalways do" and I "never apologize first", and she always does this and never does that. And the other time this happened 3 years ago when I did this but said I would do that.

Nothing is ever about what's happening right now. They're incapable.

Women love using "absolutes". Always.... never. Drives me nuts.

 

[pinger]

She is so self-absorbed and hopelessly wrapped in her own petty drama that she can't notice or appreciate the small things in life.

For instance. I live right outside of DC in a pretty urbanized area. We were driving and she was totally consumed with some petty drama on her Facebook. She was going on and on about how one of her friends didn't like one her post and what it really means.
When all of a sudden a bald eagle comes flying towards us.
" Honey, look a bald eagle!!"
"... uh-huh" ( continues to jabber about petty drama)
"Honey, look quick!"
..she ignores me and continues with her drama whining
"Honey, quick, you're going to miss it!"
"What??!?! I see it, ugh!!" As she doesn't even bother to look up from her phone.

Now replace eagle with beautiful sunset, interesting architecture, huge megaship, military escort, gorgeous scenery or anything special or unique and she just can't be bothered by anything in the world unless it's directly related to her.

Fuck that noise. Shallow bitch

 

[SleepyBoy]

Walking so slow and Caring too much about parking spots. If you didn't walk so slow, you wouldn't care about getting the closest spot.

But for some reason there are women that take closeness of a parking spot personal as some type of status. It's baffling

 

[method115]

Deciding where to eat when we're not eating at home drives me nuts. We try to decide while I drive.

Me - "Where do you want to eat?"

Her - "I don't care. You pick."

Me - "I always pick, it's your turn."

Her - "I really don't care and don't feel like deciding. You pick. It doesn't matter to me."

Me - "Okay. Let's go to the Steakhouse. They have a good draft beer selection and I could go for their braised Tri-tip."

Her - "I don't really like that place. They don't have anything I like and I don't drink beer. How about the Italian restaurant or Mexican place?"

Me - "Uggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - starts hitting head against headrest of truck.

Is there any relationship in the world where women aren't treated like second class citizens that doesn't have this issue? It's insane how common this is.

 

[method115]

Dude. It's like.. I get it, you don't care about my quest for international Madden superiority, but you know what the fuckin 4th quarter is u fuckin cunt.

And mine loves to act like she has encyclopedic knowledge of everything we've both done since we've known each other. Everything I do wrong I "aaaaalways do" and I "never apologize first", and she always does this and never does that. And the other time this happened 3 years ago when I did this but said I would do that.

Nothing is ever about what's happening right now. They're incapable.

The number of times I've had to point out to my wife whenever she says "I never do this" or "I always do that" that she's wrong and realizes she's wrong is insane. Sometimes she'll say this shit and literally like the week before I have an example proving her wrong.

Walking so slow and Caring too much about parking spots. If you didn't walk so slow, you wouldn't care about getting the closest spot.

But for some reason there are women that take closeness of a parking spot personal as some type of status. It's baffling

My wife constantly gives me the "I guess you came here a lone" line. Something about walking at the pace of a three year old just isn't possible for me.

 

[Grassshoppa]

She stops folding my clothes to show me she's mad.

Jokes on her. I still remember how to fold clothes.

 

[Possum Jenkins]

Brings home fries as left overs. They are never good once in fridge

Pro tip: re-heat them in a frying pan and throw a few eggs in there while stirring it up.

You'll come out with a scrambled egg-french fry mix that's fucking delicious.