Secret MMA techniques

Discussion in 'UFC Discussion' started by Arzachel, May 24, 2018.

  1. Arzachel

    Arzachel Blue Belt

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    I wanted to share some secret techniques and hope you lot will add some aswell...

    First off, i noticed that if you eat a shitload of coconut oil every day, your entire skin will get more slippery than it would if you applied vaseline.

    And secondly, ever since the Reebok deal came into effect, i started getting into collecting triangles. Pretty much anything that has a triangular shape.
    I feel that this has really helped me with setting up and securing triangles in a fight.

    And lastly, and perhaps most importantly, when you rock an opponent, they reside in a extremely suggestive state. Just authoritatively shouting “Go to sleep!” and simultaniously somewhat connecting a punch, will knock them the fuck out.

    I feel the MMA community has been too secretive for far too long. Let us shed some Iight on the dark world known as MMA.

    UPDATE:

    Slowly unraveling the veil of darkness...

    - Physically remove the '12' and the '6' from your clocks and watches.

    - Wear your opponent's girlfriend's perfume (or wear her out, if you prefer).

    - Have your cornermen complete Buffer's 'It's time.. to be heard!' course with included batch of honey for body and throat.

    - Shhhh (look into it).

    - Use Dana's red head as a point of reference.

    "If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself" -Orwell
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2018
  2. mayorcrazyeyes

    mayorcrazyeyes MuralEdmond Ali

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    This is awful, that is no secret.
     
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  3. Verace

    Verace Silver Belt

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    [​IMG]

    "and then i told him: go to sleep"
     
    Last edited: May 24, 2018
  4. Philtard

    Philtard Black Belt

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    I heard chi ball no touch knockouts are a thing of the future.

    Maybe throw some sonic booms and haudokens in there.
     
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  5. Ascent

    Ascent Purple Belt

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    This serious reply to an obviously joke thread is annoying me.
     
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  6. Unheralded Truth

    Unheralded Truth Green Belt

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    I found a pic of OP:

    [​IMG]
     
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  7. Flex Plexico

    Flex Plexico customized Gucci accessories

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    Sew cod liver oil capsules into the seams of your Reebok shorts and then casually slap at them when you need to escape a leg lock or whatever
     
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  8. Flex Plexico

    Flex Plexico customized Gucci accessories

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    Clay should’ve used this more often imo
    [​IMG]
     
  9. bluecocky00

    bluecocky00 Orange Belt

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    what's the secret to starting a good thread? you need that
     
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  10. accolyte1022

    accolyte1022 Ads can go f%!k off

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    GSP's ape technique.




     
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  11. George Costanza

    George Costanza Orange Belt

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  12. wompuscatwilly

    wompuscatwilly Purple Belt

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    “Checking the oil”
     
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  13. KingBeef

    KingBeef Brown Belt

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    What about the tree fiddy fists of fury technique?
     
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  14. mayorcrazyeyes

    mayorcrazyeyes MuralEdmond Ali

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    This serious reply to a joke in a joke thread is annoying me.
     
  15. bluecocky00

    bluecocky00 Orange Belt

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    stop being a whiney biatch
     
  16. Credo

    Credo Punishment Belt

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  17. Rampage_Jackson

    Rampage_Jackson Black Belt

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    I feel like bad personal hygiene can be used to a fighter's advantage. If you smell like death it could be distracting and lead to someone not wanting to grapple with you.

    Rampage always talked about how bad Matt Lindland smelled.
     
  18. Y2Khaos

    Y2Khaos Brown Belt

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    [​IMG]
     
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  19. Janne1

    Janne1 Green Belt

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    Seagal taught DC a wristlock he successfully used against Jones in their first fight. Jones looked like a little kid when DC grabbed his wrist and just effortlessly turned him around. Sensei Seagal's a lot more legit than people like to think.
     
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  20. accolyte1022

    accolyte1022 Ads can go f%!k off

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    [​IMG]
     

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